Out of curiosity:
Did your BMs help plan your wedding? If so, was it because you asked for their help or did they volunteer?
Did you WANT help planning your wedding?
Would you be upset if your bridesmaids never offered to help, or if they refused to help if you asked for it (I'm talking about BMs who are like, "Nah, I don't feel like it" - not the ones who can't help because of their own busy lives)?
If you expect bridesmaids to help or offer to help, do you expect the same standard from the groomsmen? Are they excused from helping because they're guys?
Likewise, did you expect more help from your bridesmaids or from your FI/husband?