Bridal Shower HELP!!!

lebon11

My sister, MOH, and mom are throwing me a bridal shower, and my FMIL has said nothing about throwing one (which i wasn't expecting), but she sent my mom and sister a list of about 50 ladies she wants invited (i.e. herself, FI grandmothers, FMIL best friends). I know everyone she wants to invite, but 50 from her list plus whoever my family and MOH were inviting adds up quick...how can my mo tell my FMIL that she's cutting the list back?  (keep in mind my FMIL will hold it against my family forever)

I personally think if she has 50 people she wants to invite to a bridal shower that my MOH is throwing she should just throw one herself or not expect anyone but her (FMIL) and my FI's grandmothers to be invited.

am i being rude?

AlmostMrs.Munoz

I think 50 people is a bit much, especially if she is not contributing to the party financially. I would maybe sit her down and talk with her and just tell her that it would put a strain on your family to accomodate that many people. Give her the option to suggest either paying or cutting back the number herself, so it seems like her idea and not necessarily yours. If she has a problem with this then it might be time to get others (like your FI) involved to explain what a problem this is....hth... good luck!

emilykathleen511

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:26d38c92-dd6d-47f5-8390-c1a4336c9462Post:107c534e-7010-4ab8-b326-d7dfc6e60987">Bridal Shower HELP!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]My sister, MOH, and mom are throwing me a bridal shower, and my FMIL has said nothing about throwing one (which i wasn't expecting), but she sent my mom and sister a list of about 50 ladies she wants invited (i.e. herself, FI grandmothers, FMIL best friends). I know everyone she wants to invite, but 50 from her list plus whoever my family and MOH were inviting adds up quick...how can my mo tell my FMIL that she's cutting the list back?  (keep in mind my FMIL will hold it against my family forever) I personally think if she has 50 people she wants to invite to a bridal shower that my MOH is throwing she should just throw one herself or not expect anyone but her (FMIL) and my FI's grandmothers to be invited. am i being rude?
Posted by lebon11[/QUOTE]

I disagree with pp. I don't think you should get involved at ALL. If it is too much for your mother to handle, SHE should simply say to FMIL, "We have a tight budget for the shower and we can only accomodate X number of your guests. I'm sorry we aren't able to afford more." Then, she should change the subject ("Have you seen Lebon11's wedding dress...isn't it lovely?")

gottahavashorti

That's a lot of people - are these 50 ladies all invited to the wedding?  If not, there's an out.  I agree with emilykathleen that the hosts of the shower need to handle this.  They can either tell her that they can't accommodate additional guests, or give her a set number of people to add to the guest list.

bablingbrooke

My advice: Stay out.  If 50 is too many for your mom and MOH to handle, they can tell your MIL.  

emilyinchile

Yup, this isn't your battle to fight. You aren't involved with the organization (or shouldn't be), so it would be out of line for you to comment on FMIL's guest list.

That said, the hostesses should definitely talk to her and just explain that on top of the people you've asked to have there, they can only afford an additional X number of people. Also ditto the point about them mentioning to FMIL that everyone she has on her list should be people who are invited to the wedding.

MyNameIsNot

I agree with most of the PPs.  You personally need to stay out of it.  Your MOH and mom should let FMIL know that they are planning an intimate event 50 guests to a shower is just too many, and that they'd be happy to invite 10 or however many of her guests she'd like to invite.

Huge showers come off as gift grabby; I wouldn't want them to invite that many even if they did have the budget.

stina93446

Please don't get involved. Just tell your mom that she needs to have a little chat with your FMIL.

ANGEL006

I can understand how frustrating that can be for you. If your MIL and Mom are communicating directly, and that is how she obtained the list, I would have them continue to do so. If not, you are in an unfortunate postion of acting as a liasion. Unfortunately, I went through that and it is not fun ! If you can get out of being "involved" ~ do it. If not, you may end up regretting even having a shower.

That amount of additional guests from one side does seem excessive. And one could assume the amount would constitute a seperate shower.  Good luck !