So while this girl IS one of my bridesmaids, this is a friend issue, not really a BM issue. But you ladies tend to be right on the money so I thought I'd post here - long version first, then CN.
Long version: My MOH and I got engaged within 5 months of each other, and our weddings are 4 months apart in 2010. We both asked "Karen" to be in our weddings. I have been friends with Karen for 12 years. While I don't agree with a lot of the decisions she makes (money, men, jobs), she used to always be there when a friend was needed. In fact, she's the one who set me up with FI.
After I got engaged (I was the second engagement), she changed. A lot. She has become COMPLETELY self-absorbed with her pathetic life (her words, not mine) to the point where this morning, I IMed her saying, "Snow!" and she somehow managed to turn the conversation to "you're just happy because you have someone." Ouch.
I don't talk to her about the wedding with the exception of "Hey, we need to do BM dresses next month. When do you have time?" She accused me of talking about nothing but my wedding with her. I know not to wedding obsess to her, my MOH and I obsess to each other because we both like talking about it. I try to find lighter subjects to talk about and she always brings it back to that she hates her co-op, she hates her dating situation, she hates her job, but she's going to drop cash that she admits that she doesn't have on vacations because she "needs" them.
It's clear to me that she's depressed. But she refuses to seek help and has a slew of excuses as to why. She'd rather vent and b*tch and whine. I've listened. It didn't stop. I've bean dipped. She's turned the conversation. I've been rude and just closed the IM and ended the conversation. She continued to IM back. I'm just about ready to end the friendship (I know, this makes me a horrible person!) as I have no desire to have someone who puts down my happiness because they're miserable in my life. But I can see she needs help and I don't want to abandon someone when they're this miserable. Advice?
Cliffnotes: Friend drastically changed after my engagement, is a Debby Downer and is depressed herself. Refuses to get help. I am ready to end the friendship but am worried about her and don't want to abandon someone when she needs help.
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.