Accommodations the night before

wowand135

We are having an almost-destination wedding. We live a couple hours from most family/friends and the wedding is nearish to our house. It's a 2-3 hour drive for our guests. The bridal party will need to come up the day before for the rehearsal. The morning before the wedding the girls will help me and the florist with putting together the centerpieces (saves some $$), then the rehearsal is around noon, and we'll have the rehearsal lunch/dinner after that. I'd like to hang out with my girls that night. A couple questions on this:
1. During the day (flower making thing and rehearsal) where do their dates go? I'm guessing they'll come to the rehearsal since they come to the lunch/dinner that follows but what about the flower thing?
2. I want to hang out with just my girls that night. That might be selfish considering the distance and circumstances. I was going to ask them to stay at my place or maybe get a hotel suite. Do I need to include their guests in that? Is there any expectation that I pay for their hotels the night before?
Thanks!

harpsdesire

Maybe let the dudes go back withyour FI and play video games/poker/watch a movie while the ladies do flowers?

I have no idea about who pays for hotels.... but yeah I think you can't ditch the dates who traveled for the wedding.  If your FI is doing 'guy time' that night and can include them for a few hours while you have a bit of girl time that might work.

Asking your girls to spend all night apart from the dates, unless the men also know each other and are comfortable hanging out all night, is probably a little much to ask.

jemmini6

1.  They can either hang out with you while you are doing the flowers or maybe you can give them some ideas of local places they can check out?  They will definitely attend the rehearsal with their dates, rehearsals normally don't take that long and then you guys can all head over to lunch right after.

2.  I understand the concept of wanting to have girls time, but that's what your bachelorette party was for.  They are travelling to your wedding WITH someone, so it's rude to ask that they leave their dates to fend for themselves just to hang out with you.  I would suggest maybe planning something to do as a group that night, and then just reconvene in the morning to start the day's festivities.

ETA:  It would be a really nice gesture to pay for their rooms if you can afford it, but it's definitely not necessary.  People usually cover their own travel expenses for OOT weddings.

graysquirrel

1. During the flower time, I would have your FI have an alternative activity for them to do. It doesn't have to be expensive or a big to-do, just something available for them. As someone who DIYd flowers, I can say that the last thing you want is too many people trying to help or getting in the way.

2. I would be very careful of having a girls night the night before your wedding. You will need good sleep that night, not a slumber party. If you want to spend a few hours with your friends in your room, that is cool, but I wouldn't make it an event where they have to stay with you, espeically if they have dates along. It will be much better for their dates and for your beauty sleep to just spend a little time and then go to bed.

wowand135

Thanks for the feedback!

Viczaesar

Are they all actually willing and able to take the day off before your wedding and spend it doing wedding-related stuff?  That's a lot to ask.