Wedding Party

Best man issues...

DF and I are stumped. I asked DF if his best man, lets call him Joe, has contacted the other groomsmen or him about the bachelor party because DF wants to have it before it gets too cold wedding date is 12/22. Joe suggested that DF arrange to come down to the beach during Joes week of vacation with his girlfriend.

Now, to him and me, the beach is awesome. But when DF asked about the other groomsmen coming and pointed out that Joes girl will be there and DF and I are having separate parties. Joe did not offer a different option, just shrugged it off.

This guy has been best friends with DF for over 10 years. Joe is a great guy and friend. Am I thinking about this too much? DF is a little worried about it he is a low key kind of guy and just wants to hang with all his guys at once.
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Re: Best man issues...

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_best-man-issues-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:31af7372-24e3-450c-a84c-ec668e9abd21Post:1ca08cea-54df-4e08-851a-a770ea44251a">Best man issues...</a>:
    [QUOTE]DF and I are stumped. I asked DF if his best man, lets call him Joe, has contacted the other groomsmen or him about the bachelor party because DF wants to have it before it gets too cold wedding date is 12/22. Joe suggested that DF arrange to come down to the beach during Joes week of vacation with his girlfriend. Now, to him and me, the beach is awesome. But when DF asked about the other groomsmen coming and pointed out that Joes girl will be there and DF and I are having separate parties. Joe did not offer a different option, just shrugged it off. This guy has been best friends with DF for over 10 years. Joe is a great guy and friend. Am I thinking about this too much? DF is a little worried about it he is a low key kind of guy and just wants to hang with all his guys at once.
    Posted by casswhiting[/QUOTE]

    It's really none of your business.  Nobody is guaranteed any pre-wedding parties including bachelor parites.  Has the best man offered to host a bachelor party at all for your FI?
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  • In Response to Re:Best man issues...:[QUOTE]In Response to Best man issues...:DF and I are stumped. I asked DF if his best man, lets call him Joe, has contacted the other groomsmen or him about the bachelor party because DF wants to have it before it gets too cold wedding date is 12/22. Joe suggested that DF arrange to come down to the beach during Joes week of vacation with his girlfriend. Now, to him and me, the beach is awesome. But when DF asked about the other groomsmen coming and pointed out that Joes girl will be there and DF and I are having separate parties. Joe did not offer a different option, just shrugged it off. This guy has been best friends with DF for over 10 years. Joe is a great guy and friend. Am I thinking about this too much? DF is a little worried about it he is a low key kind of guy and just wants to hang with all his guys at once.Posted by casswhitingIt's really none of your business.nbsp; Nobody is guaranteed any prewedding parties including bachelor parites.nbsp; Has the best man offered to host a bachelor party at all for your FI? Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]

    I apologize, I should have been more clear. When DF asked Joe to be the best man, Joe immediately offered to host the bachelor party. Another groomsmen offered as well, but Joe said that he wanted to do it. And now he is shrugging everything off.
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  • If the BM doesn't plan anything, maybe the other GM will step back up to the plate to organize the bach party.  Maybe the BM hasn't planned a bach party before and just isn't sure what to do. But you should stay out of it and so should your FI. 

    FWIW, my BIL's bach party was a nice dinner between his now W and H & I.  He didn't want a traditional bach party with all the guys, drinking etc.  So maybe that is why BM suggested you two join him at the beach, he's trying to keep something to a low key event.

  • Maybe the issue is that they don't want to do it now?

    With the wedding several months away, it may be too early to think about this.
  • Ditto Banana, you've got quite a ways to go before a bachelor party might happen.

    The bachelor party is a gift, and the groom should graciously accept whatever the host decides to do, even if it isn't quite what he would have wanted.  If your FI just wants to hang out with the guys, he should invite them out for a guys' night, without the "bachelor party" expectation that the groom's way is paid.  I personally didn't get a bachelorette party, but I did get a day to wander around Faire with some of my girlfriends, which was enough for me.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • In Response to Re:Best man issues...:[QUOTE]If the BM doesn't plan anything, maybe the other GM will step back up to the plate to organize the bach party.nbsp; Maybe the BM hasn't planned a bach party before and just isn't sure what to do.nbsp;But you should stay out of it and so should your FI.nbsp; FWIW, my BIL's bach party was a nice dinner between his now W and H amp; I.nbsp; He didn't want a traditional bach party with all the guys, drinking etc.nbsp; So maybe that is why BM suggested you two join him at the beach, he's trying to keep something to a low key event. Posted by OliveOilsMom[/QUOTE]

    He didn't invite me to the beach, just DF. I am not upset about not being invited. DF does not get enough guy time as is, BM and GM live two hours away. We visit as often as possible, too. Joe just is not including the other guys and DF was upset for awhile over the lone invite.
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  • Any chance it's a surprise party and the other guys are invited and know the deets? And the 'yeah join girlfriend and me at the beach' is just a cover?
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