BM ideas

matt&brit

I found this idea and I am doing it for my BM to ask them to be apart of the wedding. Does anyone have any more small things I could add I want maybe 2 or 3 more things.

 

"I bought patterned photograph boxes for $1.50 each from Michael's, then filled them with inexpensive goofy things related to being a bridesmaid, with labels on them (Aspirin- "For when I call you 10 times a day!", a mini bottle of alcohol- "To celebrate!", tissues- "To wipe up any tears", etc), plus some other items items like a Ring Pop, paint swatches of my colors for the wedding, a picture frame, and a corny book on how to be a bridesmaid. I wrote a sweet note asking them, and we had a fun day together laughing at the books and talking about the wedding. It was different from just calling them (not like that's bad!), just really fun and cheap (about $10 a person)!"

cebrady89

Maybe those gel inserts that you put under the balls of your feet to make high heels more comfortable? 

I'd steer clear of including anything meant to be used AT the wedding - I'm assuming it's a long way off, and it would probably get lost or forgotten in the meantime. Less is more for this!

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:0c315503-7dd7-4a58-8cae-8a766e9559aa">BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]I found this idea and I am doing it for my BM to ask them to be apart of the wedding. Does anyone have any more small things I could add I want maybe 2 or 3 more things.   "I bought patterned photograph boxes for $1.50 each from Michael's, then filled them with inexpensive goofy things related to being a bridesmaid, with labels on them (Aspirin- "For when I call you 10 times a day!", a mini bottle of alcohol- "To celebrate!", tissues- "To wipe up any tears", etc), plus some other items items like a Ring Pop, paint swatches of my colors for the wedding, a picture frame, and <strong>a corny book on how to be a bridesmaid</strong>. I wrote a sweet note asking them, and we had a fun day together laughing at the books and talking about the wedding. It was different from just calling them (not like that's bad!), just really fun and cheap (about $10 a person)!"
Posted by matt&brit[/QUOTE]

I'd be wary of any "how to be a bridesmaid" books, lists, etc.

The only "duties" a BM has is to get the correct dress (once the bride has privately asked each lady what her budget is and then chosen a dress on the <em>low</em> end of that), sober, on time, and smile for pictures. Any book that indicates there is more to being a BM than that is a product of a wedding industry that wants to make money and couldn't care less about your relationships once your wedding is over.

matt&brit

the wedding is 5 months away. I just moved it from oct to june

AurorasEnvy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:fcd224c9-5cb1-47c1-afd4-0bc11c5334b8">Re: BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to BM ideas : I'd be wary of any "how to be a bridesmaid" books, lists, etc. The only "duties" a BM has is to get the correct dress (once the bride has privately asked each lady what her budget is and then chosen a dress on the low end of that), sober, on time, and smile for pictures. Any book that indicates there is more to being a BM than that is a product of a wedding industry that wants to make money and couldn't care less about your relationships once your wedding is over.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I'm pretty sure OP meant the book as a joke.

</div>

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:2df2aa48-bc97-470c-9b30-bca01e3af7ba">Re: BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: BM ideas : I'm pretty sure OP meant the book as a joke.
Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

That's all well and good. Just thought I'd give OP a heads up.

I'd be kind of offended to get a book like that from someone who is supposed to be one of my closest friends, joking or not.

matt&brit

Well I am getting the book becasue all my girls have never been in a wedding and becasue they asked what BM are supposed to do. I have to disagree and say that there is more for them to do besides buy a dress. They are supposed to throw showers and bach party. They are supposed to be supportive even more than they know. I just think there are a bunch of small things that are always left out that the bridal party should WANT to do! Everyone is different i know my best friends and I know they wont take it wrong at all.

BUT anyway this post was asking if anyone had anymore ideas!

saric83

I'm sorry, but I don't have any other ideas, but I feel like I have to comment about your last post.  Your bridesmaids are absolutely NOT obligated to throw you showers, a bachelorette party or offer any additional "support" (what kind of support do you need that as your friends, they're not offering you now as a friend??)

There's a big difference in it being common in your circle of friends to throw those parties versus is being something they have to do!  It's wonderful if your friends want to do those things for you, but please do not expect it, nor tell them it's what they're mandated to do so!

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:eb149847-f96a-4b52-824e-6dd3c45085a4">Re: BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I am getting the book becasue all my girls have never been in a wedding and becasue they asked what BM are supposed to do. I have to disagree and say that there is more for them to do besides buy a dress. <strong>They are supposed to throw showers and bach party. They are supposed to be supportive even more than they know</strong>. I just think there are a bunch of small things that are always left out that the bridal party should WANT to do! Everyone is different i know my best friends and I know they wont take it wrong at all. BUT anyway this post was asking if anyone had anymore ideas!
Posted by matt&brit[/QUOTE]
No, they are not.  Showers and bachelorette parties are gifts that should not be expected of <strong>anyone</strong>, including your wedding party members.  If they choose to throw you a shower, awesome.  If not, then maybe someone else will.  The only responsibility they have is to show up at the wedding in the correct attire, picked with their comfort and budget in mind. 

Ditto PPs, Ixnay on the book.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:eb149847-f96a-4b52-824e-6dd3c45085a4">Re: BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I am getting the book becasue all my girls have never been in a wedding and becasue they asked what BM are supposed to do. I have to disagree and say that there is more for them to do besides buy a dress. <strong>They are supposed to throw showers and bach party. They are supposed to be supportive even more than they know. I just think there are a bunch of small things that are always left out that the bridal party should WANT to do! </strong>Everyone is different i know my best friends and I know they wont take it wrong at all. BUT anyway this post was asking if anyone had anymore ideas!
Posted by matt&brit[/QUOTE]

Oh boy.

You need to lower your expectations - NOW!

Showers and bach. parties are OPTIONAL. No one is required to throw you either of those things... let me repeat that... <strong>NO ONE IS REQUIRED TO THROW YOU A PARTY OF ANY KIND.

</strong>You are marrying the man of your dreams - you shouldn't need "support". You need support when something bad happens: when a relative dies or you are in financial crisis; not when you're planning a party to celebrate the joining of you and your future husband.

Get any list of "duties" out of your head NOW. They are propogated by the bridal industry who does not care one bit about your relationships... their goal is to get as much money as possible out of you and those around you. So what if it ruins your friendships and other relationships? They have your money, they don't care.

You are treading very quickly into bridezilla territory. Be warned.

mbcdefg

If I got these things it would immediately make me think, "oh man, she sounds high-maintenance." Times that by a thousand since you expect them to throw parties for you. Yipes.

angelalauren

Personally, I think it's a cute idea and people are taking this way to seriously.  You know your girlfriends and if you think they'll appreciate the gift (book included) than go for it!  I know that I wouldn't be offended at all. 

matt&brit

Thank you angela. I know my friends they know who I am. I do need support because planning can sometimes be stressful. Friends are supposed to be there when your stressed. I also said that they all asked me what BM are supposed to do and what I said is what I think BM are supposed to do if they want. You guys can think what you want but just drop it unless you want to help with what I have asked!

I am sorry if I sound like a bitch but I am sick of people being making such a big deal about how i feel or who I am.

KellyBrian2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bm-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:373cd47e-b0b1-4496-be05-923977a6886bPost:98d5cb7d-4b12-46ac-9277-0d7e9fd9fe78">Re: BM ideas</a>:
[QUOTE]Thank you angela. I know my friends they know who I am. I do need support because planning can sometimes be stressful. Friends are supposed to be there when your stressed. I also said that they all asked me what BM are supposed to do and what I said is what I think BM are supposed to do if they want. You guys can think what you want but just drop it unless you want to help with what I have asked! I am sorry if I sound like a bitch but I am sick of people being making such a big deal about how i feel or who I am.
Posted by matt&brit[/QUOTE]

And of course, OP thanks Captain Save-A-Noob for being the only one to validate a bad idea.

OP - GET OVER YOURSELF. You are starting to plan and you are already in major Bridezilla territory. For the love of all that's holy, PUT DOWN THE BRIDAL MAGAZINES and realize that they are there simply to get your money.

If you were sending your friends a gift for their birthday, would you include a book demanding that they throw you a party for your birthday? I bet not. So don't do it for your wedding - just because you are getting married doesn't make otherwise rude behavior suddenly not rude.

Also, if planning your wedding is so stressful, ask your FI for help - it is his wedding too, after all. If it is <em>still </em>so stressful that you "need support", well, then you're doing it wrong. Planning a wedding/reception is essentially planning a large party - and planning a party shouldn't be so stressful that you need support.

Seriously. I've planned everything while being in school FT, working PT, tutoring PT, training and showing dogs PT, completeing clinical hours (at 14+ hours per week) AND FI works FT. Have there been moments of stress? Certainly. But not to the point that I feel I need to call up one of my BMs for a shoulder to lean on.

Andplusalso this is an open forum. You don't get to dictate how people post/respond. People are responding this way because you are expecting far too much of your so-called friends. People here are honest, albeit blunt, and they don't want to see you ruin your friendships/relationships over one day of your life (your wedding).