Groomsman wants to wear his own suit.

tjirwinwedding

Hi guys, my fiance's groomsman was over last night, and when it was mentioned that we had a retail group opened at moore's to make shopping easy on the guys, the GM responded that he thought he would just wear a suit he already has. This suit is brown and kind of manky (he's not the most style conscious guy...), and he wants to wear a green shirt and tie with it. Our colours are coral and metallics.

 I don't want to be a brat about it, but we have asked the guys to wear khaki dockers and an ivory dress shirt, sleeves rolled with no tie, very beachy and not formal. The other 2 GM have no problem with this, and our bridesmaids are all matching. Just to be clear, I don't care if they are walmart khakis and a borrowed shirt, I'd just like the guys to look approximately the same. I tried to make this clear to him last night, but he just kept saying "nah, I've already got the suit, I'll just wear that."

This guy is kind of oblivious and very stubborn, and didn't get my hints that I would REALLY like it if he would not wear that gross old suit.  How do I (or hopefully my fiance, as this is his friend and his problem as far as I'm concerned) get this guy to come around? 

~ Also, people might rag on me for this being none of my business, but I'm 99.9% sure that money is not the problem. He is notoriously cheap though...

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-wants-to-wear-his-own-suit?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:39c32b86-9367-4a18-83e5-40191649aec9Post:07dac51b-1fa6-49a0-9ccd-4297b43d1398">Groomsman wants to wear his own suit.</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi guys, my fiance's groomsman was over last night, and when it was mentioned that we had a retail group opened at moore's to make shopping easy on the guys, the GM responded that he thought he would just wear a suit he already has. This suit is brown and kind of manky (he's not the most style conscious guy...), and he wants to wear a green shirt and tie with it. Our colours are coral and metallics.  I don't want to be a brat about it, but we have asked the guys to wear khaki dockers and an ivory dress shirt, sleeves rolled with no tie, very beachy and not formal. The other 2 GM have no problem with this, and our bridesmaids are all matching. Just to be clear, I don't care if they are walmart khakis and a borrowed shirt, I'd just like the guys to look approximately the same. I tried to make this clear to him last night, but he just kept saying "nah, I've already got the suit, I'll just wear that." This guy is kind of oblivious and very stubborn, and didn't get my hints that I would REALLY like it if he would not wear that gross old suit.  How do I (or hopefully my fiance, as this is his friend and his problem as far as I'm concerned) get this guy to come around?  ~ Also, people might rag on me for this being none of my business, but I'm 99.9% sure that money is not the problem. He is notoriously cheap though...
Posted by tjirwinwedding[/QUOTE]
You're right that your FI should be dealing with this.  I don't think it's unreasonable to say, "This is what the guys are wearing," especially when you've selected something that can be obtained cheaply (as opposed to a Vera Wang tux or some nonsense).<div>
</div><div>Has he ever been a groomsman before?  Maybe he's not aware that he has to wear something specific and just thinks he needs to dress nicely.  I think your FI should sit him down and try to find out why he's so stuck on this suit.  If it's money, see if you can chip in to cover him or help him find something to borrow.</div>

[Deleted User]

I agree with PPs but just wanted to throw in a shake of my head, what's wrong with this guy!

maribeth721

Yeah, this is ridic. I have to imagine this guy has just never been in a wedding before. I would ask your FI to talk to him. You are not being unreasonable here.

tjirwinwedding

I don't think he's ever been in a wedding before, he probably just figures he should dress nicely. But really, even if you've only seen a wedding, you know that the WP usually matches. I'm also certain he's going to take this as me being bridezilla-y, even if it comes from my fiance. Ah well. I guess worst comes to worst, we pack an extra ivory shirt and make him remove the suit jacket. 

MyNameIsNot

I agree that your FI needs to talk to him, not you.  I agree that he may be messing with you, or he may be oblivious.  Either way, it's best for you to take a step back and let your FI have the conversation with him.  I think PP's wording about "this is the attire we've selected, do you need any help with the specifics?" would make the most sense.  

But to be perfectly honest, if I was a person that didn't know much about style, looking at wedding pics I probably wouldn't notice that the GMs usually match.  It's not like the girls where they are all usually wearing the same or similar dresses.  With guys, they just see a bunch of suits or tuxes.  Someone not interested in clothes might not notice that they are all the same or similar suits, but might just see that they all look dressed up.