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Groomsman in the Navy

livviellisonlivviellison member
First Comment
in Wedding Party
One of my boyfriends best friends is in the Navy and is going to be deployed to Hawaii within the next few weeks. I'm not sure how it works with being able to get temporary leave, but he's been very important to my boyfriend. They've known each other since grade school. I don't know much about the Navy, but i know he will have to serve for five years total. Is it possible that he won't be able to come home for our wedding? Is that a common issue? I've heard that they get small breaks, but they are like for a weekend or something and they're sporadic. If anyone has experienced this or knows more about the miliary than I do, I'd love to find this out. Thanks!
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Re: Groomsman in the Navy

  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I don't really have anything to add, as I'm not familiar, but I suggest posting on the military brides forum on the left under 'special topic' boards! Good luck. 
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  • ccarrion77ccarrion77
    First Comment
    edited April 2012
    My FI is in the air force and I've had a lot of friends over the years in the military.  From my knowledge it is possible that his friend won't be able to come home.  It all depends what's going on during that time, i.e., they're in training or doing an exercise... It is also dependent on what time of job he has in the military.  I had a friend who was infantry and could only go home during certain blocks of time, where my FI is an analysis and can come home almost whenever he wants as long as he has leave.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    My husband is in the Navy so I can give you some information. Is he being stationed in Hawaii or deploying? If he is stationed in Hawaii, he may be able to get leave. It will honestly depend on whoever is the person who signs off on it. If there is a lot of work? No way. If he is on a shore duty? Maybe. For example, my husband, right now, would never get a day off. Now, if your friend is deployed, there is no way he will be able to go to your wedding. 

    Honestly, don't pressure this friend. He will already be experiencing a lot of change and to have someone pressure him about a wedding would do more harm than good.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    Just let him know that you will support whatever decision he makes. If he can make it to the wedding, he can wear his dress uniform. If not, list him in the program and maybe offer a short prayer or a silent moment for his safe return. Don't replace him or ask someone else in his place. Just go on with whoever can make it.
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  • beaty+bjorkbeaty+bjork
    First Comment
    I don't have much experience with the Navy, but my FI was in a similar situation. His best friend is in the Navy and is somewhere in Asia right now. FI still asked him to be best man even though we knew there would be a great possibility of him not being able to make it. His best man applied for leave (or however you go about taking leave) and tried going high up in the ranks to be able to make it to the wedding. Due to where they are and what they are doing, he was not granted leave. We are not replacing him, and we have him listed in the program. Hope this helps!
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  • egm900egm900 member
    First Comment
    Three of the guys my FI asked to be in the wedding party are military (Army and Marines), one did not accept because he knew he was going to be deployed.  He has requested leave for the wedding, but he doesn't think he will get it.  We are including him in the program with a note that he is deployed and to ask for prayers for his safe return.  The other two requested leave when we asked them to be in the WP, and they were told no problem.  
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    Your wedding isn't until September 2014.
    This issue can be addressed in July 2014 with him applying for leave for the week of your wedding.
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  • stealthangel20stealthangel20 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    My brother in law will be an usher...and stationed in Hawaii oddly enough! He had no problem getting off work...though he was not given the official OK to go until about 2 weeks ago (wedding is May 27th). So expect to have to wait on the answer on whether he can make it or not.
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  • livviellisonlivviellison member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-in-the-navy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3f8c9d78-184c-4a79-afa8-3caeb98d1249Post:b906c3a9-920c-4cfa-9018-e31fb66a44ee">Re: Groomsman in the Navy</a>:
    [QUOTE]My husband is in the Navy so I can give you some information. Is he being stationed in Hawaii or deploying? If he is stationed in Hawaii, he may be able to get leave. It will honestly depend on whoever is the person who signs off on it. If there is a lot of work? No way. If he is on a shore duty? Maybe. For example, my husband, right now, would never get a day off. Now, if your friend is deployed, there is no way he will be able to go to your wedding.  Honestly, don't pressure this friend. He will already be experiencing a lot of change and to have someone pressure him about a wedding would do more harm than good.
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>He's supposed to be stationed in Hawaii. Leaving Monday (April 7,2012) . I think it's a five year deployment but honestly, I have no clue how it works. I was assuming that because it's so "close" that it would be easier for him to get off for it, but you never know. I'm sure he's going to try. It's not the end of the world if he can't. We'll probably just do an "honorary groomsman" thing in the bulletin. But I know he'd want to be there if he could. Despite that, everyone would understand if he couldnt' make it. Anyway, thanks for the info!</div>
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  • livviellisonlivviellison member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_groomsman-in-the-navy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3f8c9d78-184c-4a79-afa8-3caeb98d1249Post:d8c122dd-9dea-4e97-806a-50ac18ea2c09">Re: Groomsman in the Navy</a>:
    [QUOTE]Your wedding isn't until September 2014. This issue can be addressed in July 2014 with him applying for leave for the week of your wedding.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    <div>And he's leaving in a few days. It was simply asked out of curiosity. Nothing more. Not sure where I would get info like this anywhere else, but excuse me for asking. With the issue presented to me, I simply wanted to know options. Thanks for commentiing though. You're input was SUPER helpful.  </div>
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  • lilbitbeakerlilbitbeaker member
    First Comment
    what most PPs said above. 

    a very good friend of mine is in the Navy and he will not be able to make it to my wedding.
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