Honestly I posted my question about "booting" a bridesmaid after midnight when I was extremely tired, so my post came out a bit immature sounding and almost didn't make that much sense. I was way too tired to rehash years of issues and my inability to be assertive and stand up for myself (I'm aware that lack of assertiveness is equal to lack of maturity on some level, thank you for those of you who thought it would be helpful to point that out) The only reason I posted to a forum of brides I didn't know was bc I didn't want to badmouth this girl to anyone, I just needed advice. I wasn't looking for assurance that I was 100% the good guy or that removing a bridesmaid was a good idea. If I thought it was a good idea, I wouldn't have had a problem doing so without asking for advice on how to handle it. I was hoping that I would get some helpful feedback and then be able to delete the post. Thank you SO much for those replies that consisted of constructive criticism or helpful insights. Ranging from "hang in there, it will pass" to "it will end the friendship," your replies were honest and gave me the differing feedback that I needed. Unlike a lot of other people on here who only seem to be on here to make snarky remarks, your replies make me feel better in the sense that I'm not the only one who has had to deal with something like this. I totally got over excited and picked my bridal party way too early. Yes, it was immature of me to think that having her be my bridesmaid would make our already iffy friendship any better. Sparing you the forever long details and only sharing one or two wedding-related incidents, she intially gave me issues as she continually tried to set me up with her husband's brother even after I was engaged. The fight that I referred to occurred during the time period we were preparing for her wedding, so I just let it go for the sake of a drama free wedding for her. The awkward tension that some of you talk about is something that I've definitely been experiencing. How to handle such an awkward situation with someone I wanted so badly to still be that best friend she was in high school, while knowing that we both have changed, was something that I really struggled with.
One or two of you asked what had transpired in the months following our arguement: Nothing. Silence. One response on fb about how she was just way too busy to talk.
Since I've posted, she has sent me a huge fb message (nothing in person, no phone call...) about how she knows we're at a really awkward point and how she knows it's partially her fault. Although she never officially gave any sort of apology, I've decided to let her back in to my life (this whole contemplation to remove her from my bridal party obviously was also about whether or not I needed a friend like that at all). We're still pretty distant but as long as she doesn't start anymore drama, I'll be okay having her in my wedding. While "sucking it up" (as someone on the forum so nicely suggested) for my own wedding doesn't seem like something I should have to do, it's going to mean a lot less drama for everyone else. And, as per my lack of assertiveness, I'm used to it. So, here's to the last time I let her get away with her unwanted attitude. Once the wedding is over, we probably won't talk (she never really gets back with me unless she needs something...I don't know why I held on to our friendship this long. I guess it's just because of the fact that we've been friends ever since I can remember).
Anyway... Though I'm sure this is more info than you needed, I just wanted to say thank you for those of you who replied with the intention of help. And for not judging me from a post on the internet. 