Would be bridesmaid has cancer

SGregg522

My fiance & I would dearly love to honor our friend who introduced us.  Under ordinary circumstances, I would ask her to be in my wedding party.  Unfortunately, she has been battling cancer for 2 years.  It's unclear if she will be well enough to attend our wedding.  Does anyone have suggestions on how we can honor her?  Thanks!

mbcdefg

If you want her as a bridesmaid, ask her anyway, and let her make the decision. She may be sick, but she's not incapable of making decisions, and she will appreciate knowing that you are thinking of her and want to include her. And she'll also appreciate being treated as a capable person. It's clear that you only want what's best for her, but don't take it upon yourself to decide what she can and can't handle.

Worst-case scenario (which wouldn't even be a huge deal), she says she'll be a bridesmaid and then she's too ill to attend the wedding. In that case, you just leave the bridal party as it is, maybe send her her bouquet as a nice get-well floral arrangement, and maybe ask the officiant/minister to offer a short prayer or statement asking for good thoughts and prayers for her health.

Best wishes to her!

midgetthemighty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_would-bridesmaid-cancer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:46b0c2b6-7a23-4345-bf08-21b9fab1ccfePost:98574412-cb8b-4d53-9a0a-d76b893181c3">Re: Would be bridesmaid has cancer</a>:
[QUOTE]If you want her as a bridesmaid, ask her anyway, and let her make the decision. She may be sick, but she's not incapable of making decisions, and she will appreciate knowing that you are thinking of her and want to include her. And she'll also appreciate being treated as a capable person. It's clear that you only want what's best for her, but don't take it upon yourself to decide what she can and can't handle. Worst-case scenario (which wouldn't even be a huge deal), she says she'll be a bridesmaid and then she's too ill to attend the wedding. In that case, you just leave the bridal party as it is, maybe send her her bouquet as a nice get-well floral arrangement, and maybe ask the officiant/minister to offer a short prayer or statement asking for good thoughts and prayers for her health. Best wishes to her!
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

This.

I wish your friend the best!

LaceyH13

That is devestating. Best wishes to your friend!

I don't know if others would think it was cheesy, but you could leave a seat open in her honor at the front? Perhaps put a "reserved" sign in it, and note in the program who it was for. I would think that was really cool if I saw it.

Cony&Ben

I agree with mbcdefg.

I read somewhere about a couple whose Best Man was deployed before the wedding. He recorded a speech and they had the DJ play it at the reception. If your friend isn't able to make it to your wedding, maybe you could include her that way?

Best wishes to you and your friend!

mancila60

I know how you feel my FMIL has been battling cancer for 2 years now and we don't think she'll make it to the wedding at all. Personally I would still ask! And if nothing else in the programs you can always put at the end that you have a special thank you to her for introducing you or whatever your wording would be.

Mandalynn9112

I would still ask her and if she is well enough to attend that's great, if not you can add her as an "honorary BM".  My uncle was a groomsman in my other uncles wedding but he was overseas in the military and couldn't make it.  So in the program he was listed as an honorary groomsman and his space was left empty in the line up.

Another idea is to list her in the program as an honorary guest or something, or have her be a second personal attendant.  Something that again if she is well enough to perform than great. 

I hope she gets better soon.  I'm a cancer survivor and its no easy road.  I'll be praying for her.

RoMy215

Just wanted to tell you I can relate. My sister told me she found a lump the day before I was going dress shopping last year. We found out 2 weeks later it was cancer.
My dad told me that my sister made a big deal to her doctors and other people about wanting to make sure could arrange her treatment schedule to make sure she would be ok for our wedding. She finished chemo a few weeks before, and though she was tired and couldn't participate in some activities (she came to the rehearsal itself, but not the dinner and she didn't stay at the wedding for the reception), I was so thankful to have her there.
Good luck to you and your friend!!!!