My friend didn't ask me to be her BM should I ask her?

JessErinF

I and a friend of mine have both recently gotten engaged (she first).  We are also planning our weddings within a 2 month period of each other.  She did NOT ask me to be one of her bridesmaids.  I'm a little upset, but not angry or anything like that.  I still want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but unsure if this is a good idea.  Will it put her in an awkward position feeling she has to ask me?  Or is it inappropriate because we both have our own weddings to plan also?  Any advice is helpful!!

SugarFoote

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_my-friend-didnt-ask-me-to-be-her-bm-should-i-ask-her?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:59b98914-c50a-4f08-a9b4-b34b3b464249Post:d98bf3bd-73ba-4c36-a0f2-63e4315fc84a">My friend didn't ask me to be her BM should I ask her?</a>:
[QUOTE]I and a friend of mine have both recently gotten engaged (she first).  We are also planning our weddings within a 2 month period of each other.  She did NOT ask me to be one of her bridesmaids.  I'm a little upset, but not angry or anything like that.  I still want to ask her to be one of my bridesmaids, but unsure if this is a good idea.  Will it put her in an awkward position feeling she has to ask me?  Or is it inappropriate because we both have our own weddings to plan also?  Any advice is helpful!!
Posted by JessErinF[/QUOTE]

Your wedding party is supposed to be your nearest dearest...if she falls under that category with you and you want her in your wedding then ask her. It doesn't matter if she asked you or not.

JennluvsPaul

ditto

FakiaB

She may have just wanted to spare you the stress of being a bridesmaid when you have so much of your own stress to deal with. As a fellow bride, she may have been just being considerate. If she is your close friend I would simply extend the invitation to be your bridemaid without making it seem like there is a pressure to say yes. If she can great! if not have someone else in mind to fill that spot. Seeing as you both are getting married so closely I don't think there was any harmful intent.... Congrats on your engagement!

Duffy27

I have the same situation with one of my friends. I asked her to be my maid of honor since we have been besties since second grade! I'm also in her wedding party. I like it because this way we can do the planning together and won't go all bridzilla because we would know what it is like to be on the recieving end. So if you are really good friends and she is comfortable with the extra duties that she will have with being a bridesmaid and a bride go for it!!