I recently sent the following email to someone who's blog I read about booting out a horrible bridesmaid but would like to hear what you all have to say:
Hi! I recently came across your article because I am having a really hard time with one of my bridesmaids. My fiancé is a twin and his twin brother is his Best Man. I asked his girlfriend to be a bridesmaid because I didn’t want her to think I was being rude because our other friends will be standing up in our wedding so she would be the only one out…talk about awkward! So this was 6 months ago and since then I’ve been having a really hard time getting along with her. She hasn’t ever asked about our wedding plans like the others have and it’s almost like she could care less. My fiancé and I are having a formal wedding off the strip in Las Vegas and we are from Texas so everyone is already spending money to get there. I wanted the whole bridal party travelling together and everyone agreed accept her and the best man (fiancé’s twin brother). They are going a day early to celebrate her birthday which is a week before the wedding. She had asked a few people from our bridal party if they wanted to travel with her and the best man a day early to celebrate her birthday and that really upset me because she knew I wanted everyone travelling together. She claims she never knew that (everyone else knew though) and that we’re all adults and I shouldn’t be making anyone travel on specific dates and what’s the big deal if we all fly together on a plane or not. She’s not understanding the point. It’s my wedding and my bridal party and she was taking away from that. She claims that she wasn’t doing that (basically lied to me and my fiance’s face) and that she never invited anyone to go with them even though I was standing there when she was inviting people. She refuses to listen to anything I have to say and I basically want her out of my wedding but can’t find the best way to tell her. I’m a very shy person who absolutely hates confrontation. She also says that it’s not just about my wedding and that she goes to Vegas every year for her birthday and it doesn’t always have to be about me. Well for once in my life, I think my wedding should be all about me. She has also said some really mean things like I’m being very selfish and told me that all of my bridesmaids “were” going to by my $200 bridal headband. I don’t know why she would tell me that when I simply told her that I didn’t want her inviting my whole bridal party to go to Vegas a day early for her birthday when we were all planning on going together for our wedding. She only recently mentioned her birthday, like a few days ago so this is completely new to me. I would really appreciate an opinion from an outsider. Everyone I talk to is saying I’m right, but I don’t want them to say that just to be nice. I want the truth. Am I being selfish for wanting my bridal party to travel together? And how do I remove this negative person from my bridal party?
On another note, I think she is being very selfish. My fiance and his twin brother are SUPER close to each other and my fiance wants his brother there with us when we all leave for Vegas. They have always done everything together except for this one thing...our wedding. Even though they're just leaving a day early to celebrate his girlfriend's birthday, I personally thinks it's selfish of HER to even bring up celebrating her birthday on top of our wedding plans. That's just me personally, but I would like your opinion on that as well.