Wedding Party

Need a job for the FSIL other than BM

My future SIL is dying to be in the wedding. I have had my wedding party planned for ever, and the FSIL was not in the plan. Plus, there are two other half sisters who I feel would need to be asked to be in the wedding if I ask the other sister. What kind of ceremony job/task/assignment should I give her to make her feel like a part of the day?

Re: Need a job for the FSIL other than BM

  • #1, it's not a job, it's an honor.  A job is a DOC and you pay them.

    Ask if she could do a reading or say a prayer.


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  • Amen Jagore.

    That's all.
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  • bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited June 2010
    Giving her a shiit job is no way to include her.  Tell her that her "job" in the wedding is to look great and have fun.  If she keeps pestering you, tell her that you're sorry you can't include everyone in the wedding, say you can't wait to see her there, then change the subject.  Don't bring up the wedding around her.
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  • Being a guest is also an honor.
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  • "Oh, honey, if I had every person that we love up front with us, there wouldn't be anyone in the audience!  I'll let you know if there's anything that we need done for the ceremony, but in the meantime we'd just love to see you as a guest."
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  • If your FI would like to include her in the wedding, she can stand up as his groomswoman.

    Otherwise, I would ask her to do a reading or just enjoy herself as a guest.

    Don't give her a job or a task or an errand to run (coordinator, hostess, program passer-outer, personal attendant, etc.). That isn't an honor, it's busywork.
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  • Groom's attendant, reader, or religious piece (bringing up the gifts, holding the chuppa poles). 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_need-job-fsil-other-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:5d6f5962-85aa-4ecd-aaeb-a3f02e2ca18fPost:fa70eb59-f0a6-4b92-8ccb-bb8863b8cab9">Re: Need a job for the FSIL other than BM</a>:
    [QUOTE]Giving her a shiit job is no way to include her.  Tell her that her "job" in the wedding is to look great and have fun.  If she keeps pestering you, tell her that you're sorry you can't include everyone in the wedding, say you can't wait to see her there, then change the subject.  Don't bring up the wedding around her.
    Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]



    agree!
  • Thanks everyone, I agree, and I guess when I said "job" it gave the wrong connotation. I was looking for ideas of ways to make her feel included, since she isn't satisfied unless she's a bridesmaid.

    Anyhow, I've decided to make her a bridesmaid and expand my wedding party beyond what want, because of the FMIL. My fiance's mother called and berated him for about 30minutes about how horrible people we were because we weren't planning on making her a BM. I would rather have someone in the party I don't want there than to spend a year knowing that my fiance feels horrible and is getting flack from family just because he doesn't want to make me do something.

    I now feel like the wedding has become something to make everyone else happy, not us! Tried to convince him to elope, but he wasn't having it.. lol.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_need-job-fsil-other-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:5d6f5962-85aa-4ecd-aaeb-a3f02e2ca18fPost:350fda30-ce58-4b13-bbc2-d8eade236e01">Re: Need a job for the FSIL other than BM</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks everyone, I agree, and I guess when I said "job" it gave the wrong connotation. I was looking for ideas of ways to make her feel included, since she isn't satisfied unless she's a bridesmaid. Anyhow, I've decided to make her a bridesmaid and expand my wedding party beyond what want, because of the FMIL. My fiance's mother called and berated him for about 30minutes about how horrible people we were because we weren't planning on making her a BM. <strong>I would rather have someone in the party I don't want there than to spend a year knowing that my fiance feels horrible and is getting flack from family just because he doesn't want to make me do something. </strong>I now feel like the wedding has become something to make everyone else happy, not us! Tried to convince him to elope, but he wasn't having it.. lol.
    Posted by kollerse[/QUOTE]

    I think you made the right decision, even though it sucks that his mom pressured you guys. And although I know you're bummed right now, as long as you expect nothing more than that she get the dress, show up on the day and act exactly as she always has acted toward both you and her brother, in the end this won't affect your happiness or your wedding at all.
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