Program wording... Bridesmaid not in attendance (XP in E)

KellyBrian2013

We are a little over a month away from our wedding, so I am starting to get all of the little details in order. I want to start working on our programs, but am curious as to the best way to list a bridesmaid who won't be attending.

Unfortunately, she lives out of the country and informed me a few weeks ago that she won't be able to afford her flight here and that I should find someone to replace her. I won't replace her; she was asked because she is one of my best friends, not because she is a prop.

Is it inappropriate to still list her? How do I go about listing her while making it clear she is absent without making it sound like she has passed away or something equally depressing?

Simply Fated

Are you going to be leaving notes about the other bridal party members? Maybe if you have a sentence or two about each of the members you can work in some nice phrasing somehow.

Otherwise, I would just list her among the other bridal party members and not mention that she is absent on the programs.
If you don't give a reason or leave it vague, people will wonder the worst case scenerios or what ever. if you do list her reason (she can't afford it) that doesn't make the situation look better.

KellyBrian2013

I wouldn't list her as:
Bridesmaid - Unable to attend due to finances

But was thinking something like:
Bridemaid in absentia

I toyed with "honorary" bridesmaid, too, but I feel as though that is demeaning since she would be standing with the rest of the ladies if she were there.

Simply Fated

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_program-wording-bridesmaid-not-in-attendance?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:5e97bacf-c2cb-48ff-b516-d83c1b50d132Post:c97f11ee-c02c-4d93-9527-a31386b27a79">Re: Program wording... Bridesmaid not in attendance</a>:
[QUOTE]I wouldn't list her as: Bridesmaid - Unable to attend due to finances But was thinking something like: Bridemaid in absentia I toyed with "honorary" bridesmaid, too, but I feel as though that is demeaning since she would be standing with the rest of the ladies if she were there.
Posted by KellyBrian2013[/QUOTE]
Okay, let me rephrase, because I didn't mean that you would actually write she can't come because she's broke lol.
I think that if you point out the fact that she isn't there, then people will ask <em>why</em> she isn't there and you'll have to give a white lie. It just points something out that isn't necessary to be pointed out.
Either people won't know her so they won't even realize there is a bridesmaid missing or they'll notice her missing and ask why. If you put it into print "She's not here!" then people are still just going to wonder why. It doesn't change anything and now even the people who wouldn't have noticed are going to wonder what's up.


And I agree that the term honorary sucks.
If she's a bridesmaid, then your best bet is to list her just like you listed the rest of them.

mabrown5

If you're listing the WP just include her name. You don't have to give an explaination or write anything. More than likely people won't even notice that she isn't there. If you write anything like "Bridemaid in absentia," it is pointing out that she isn't there and be prepared for people to wonder why.

aerinpegadrak

One of our groomsmen didn't attend.  I didn't make any special designation on the program; I doubt anyone noticed.  People look over the program because they're bored and waiting for the wedding to start, not because they're actually trying to find out more about the WP.  Those who are already know, and those who don't know don't care.

samrae717

i would just list her as: bridesmaid: unable to attend

MrsBradshaw2014

You could always list her and in () put Celebrating from afar.