Wedding Party

Creative ways to ask BMs to be in your wedding???

Hey girls! I am trying to come up with a fun a creative way to ask my bridesmaids to be in my bridal party. What are some of the ways that you asked your girls?

Thank you for any advice! :)

Re: Creative ways to ask BMs to be in your wedding???

  • Called them up.  I've been asked casually over lunch, over the phone, and via email.  I felt honored every time and no collage, card, or cookie would have made it more memorable.  Plus by calling or asking in person you get to experience the reaction.

    If you need strangers to give you creative ideas, that's a sign to me that such a gesture wouldn't be entirely genuine because you didn't come up with it.  Remember that the honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW they are asked.  Not everything related to the wedding has to be a production or ceremony in and of itself.
    Courtesy of megk8oz
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    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • First things first.  Your wedding is over a year ago.  If you were planning to ask them now, may I suggest waiting until after Halloween?  Why?  Scroll down a couple pages worth of this board and find the countless posts by women who asked over a year out, and now want to kick out their former BFF or their SIL. 

    Then, as you scroll down, you'll also find a number of posts asking the very same question you're asking.

    And although it's not exactly what you're asking, my answer is just ask.  Call them up and ask.  Take them out for coffee and ask.  Go get a burger and ask.

    Start realizing now that everything about your wedding doesn't have to be "creative", or "unique", or "memorable", or "one of a kind", or "clever" or, and this is most important a production.

    The very clever marketers of the wedding industry have done a wonderful job of convincing couples that  EVERYTHING has to be a BFD.  They do that so that you'll buy completely unneccessary "stuff" like cookies shaped like bridesmaid dresses, or will you be my bridesmaid? cards or more.

    Will you friends be less thrilled to be in your WP if they get a knick-knack that has something to do with a wedding?  I don't think so.

    FWIW:  I've been MOG and MOB in the last couple of years.  In both cases, my DD and DIL just called their friends and asked.  And their friends and family squealed with delight.  Not a single person said "What, you couldn't find a creative, cute way to ask?"
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • edited June 2010
    I hired a plane to write "will you be my bridesmaid" in sky writing!
    Anniversary
  • edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-ways-ask-bms-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:658c374b-3fbb-49fd-b026-534d76b3bdf7Post:3723d6fa-089b-44ad-a036-7651ae9fd157">Re: Creative ways to ask BMs to be in your wedding???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Called them up.  I've been asked casually over lunch, over the phone, and via email.  I felt honored every time and no collage, card, or cookie would have made it more memorable.  Plus by calling or asking in person you get to experience the reaction. If you need strangers to give you creative ideas, that's a sign to me that such a gesture wouldn't be entirely genuine because you didn't come up with it.  <strong>Remember that the honor is in BEING asked, not in HOW they are asked.  Not everything related to the wedding has to be a production or ceremony in and of itself.
    </strong>Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

    This.

    I will admit that I gave cards that I made to each bridal party member (because I love to make cards and it gave me a chance to write down exactly what I wanted to say), but I asked each of them in person or on the phone.

    Sometimes simple is better. Just ask them.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Thanks for the advice on waiting, trix.

    My wedding itself is going to be extremely simple and not a huge production. I was just wondering if anyone had a cute ideas that I had not thought of. Lunch and dinner dates are what I was planning on doing and will probably end up doing.
  • That sounds like a fabulous plan, OP.
    image
    It's a girl!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Ditto!
    Courtesy of megk8oz
    image
    "I think bablingbrooke is the 13 yr old marring her cousin at the town hall. Lets all give her a big hand. And hope her inbred children can live normal lives." -tabs.

    A word of warning from your friends at Cracked.com: Remember that text is going to be how you make your first impression over the internet; if every third word you type is misspelled, people will automatically assume that you're a moron.
  • I'm about to leave to meet my friends (and future bridesmaids--hopefully) at a restaurant. I was going to ask them there. I wasn't even the one who organized tonight, so I'm sure they have no idea. It's kind of special to me because unlike my other friends' weddings where one of us didn't get to be a BM each time, they will all be in mine--no feelings hurt this time.


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    Anniversary
  • Oh man, mstar:  I hope you have time to read this before you go.  If not, perhaps it will serve as a reminder to other brides.  Don't ask your friends in a group. 

    Ask them individually.  99.9% of the time, they'll be thrilled and say yes.  But they might, they just might, have to decline.  And talk about being the poop of the party if you have to decline.

    It might put someone on the spot to accept the honor, when they know that they can't.

    Always ask individually!
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • I would definitely wait a little bit before you ask.  You can ask at like 9 months out and still have plenty of time.  I too fell into the trap of wanting to do something nice.  But nothing crazy.  I went to Hallmark and found friendship cards, and was able to find a different card for each BM that totally described our relationship.  There were really nice poems or writings on the front and blank inside.  I wanted to let each of them know why I valued their friendship so much and why I wanted them to be a BM so I wrote it all on the inside.  Then I bought each girl a bag of sponge candy and tied ribbons of our wedding colors around it.  I gave it to each girl in person though and individually so I could see their reaction. 

    i have been asked at dinner before, and just sitting around at ones house.  Another friend ordered dress shaped cookies in her wedding colors and wrote a nice poem inside the box for us.  Every way was special and great, and I was just as happy to be asked for every wedding no matter how i was asked.
    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • I called my friends individually to ask them. And then to "seal the deal" and let them all mingle (friends from different areas of my life) I'm taking them out to brunch. I'll put a handwritten card at each placesetting with a cupcake. The note is going to say: "The only thing sweeter is having you by my side." Sweet, simple, and they get a fun brunch.
  • mstar284mstar284 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    Well sorry guys. I asked! We had dinner and they all wanted to know how the planning was going. I said I had gone dress shopping and talked about that for a minute. Then I said and I've figured out who I want to be in my bridal party (kind of jokingly and to throw them off). They weren't really sure what to say because it was kind of a weird thing for me to say. Anyway, I guess you'd have to be there or at least know our sense of humor. So I told them all that I would be honored if they would all be my bridesmaids. 14 years of friendship...I would never want anyone else or would never want to exclude any of them. I told them they didn't have to give me an answer right away because I know it can be a big commitment, but they all let me know by the end of the night that they are thrilled that I asked and that it couldn't have been more perfect of a situation. Yeah, there were some tears (they are so dramatic) So, I guess I'm part of the percentage that it worked for.

    I didn't get everybody's advice until I got home, but it's stuff I have already realized and thought about. I understand completely what everyone was trying to say about asking early and in a group, etc., but if anyone has to drop out for any reason, it's fine. What's the difference between asking a year in advance and sixth months if we've been years for 14 years? Our friendship is not going to drastically change; it never has. And if for some reason we get in a huge fight about something, we are all mature enough to freaking work it out. We always have. I wouldn't want to ask anyone else. If anything changes between now and then, fine...we can deal. But they were all super stoked.  It was a great night!! Yay. They already want to start looking for their dresses. That I am in no rush for. They can look all they want, but I've got a while.

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    Anniversary
  • So, after trying to find a fun way to ask my girls, I asked one BM without even knowing it! I was laying out by the pool with my FSIL and we were talking wedding stuff. I was talking about how I was something really casual and laid back. I told her what I was envisioning for the BM dresses and I randomly said "I'm thinking I want you girls to wear..." and she said "Wait, what did you say? Do I get to be in the wedding?" She was so excited! Honestly, I thought that she knew she would be in the wedding (FI's only sister), so it was really great to see her reaction! It wasn't planned but it was so perfect! :)
  • I ordered personalized m&m's in my colors and made little bags for my BM's then made cards (I like arts and crafts) then I asked them each personally.  They pretty much knew anyway.  But one had told me that she wanted a song so I wrote her a little song on her card.  It was great.
  • I made a stop motion video. Everyone in my wedding I've known for almost my whole life, but they live all around the country! I wanted to do something kind of fun to ask them, so I made this stop motion video! I put "their" Lego girl, the movie on a CD, and a personal note (that they weren't allowed to read right away) in an envelope and mailed it to them. It was really cute and it only took a few hours to make! Although...finding female Legos was tricky. Note the peg-legged bridesmaid...oh well! :) I put it on Youtube so y'all can see it!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAxjkwEtf_I
  • edited June 2010
    Mstar284, Is the dress in your signature the one you've chosen or just one you really like? I tried this dress on and it was one of my top 3, it is gorgeous and super flattering. I ended up getting the Maggie Sottero "Jovi" but "SaBelle' was definitely one of my favorites. 

    P.S. Congrats on the exciting night, glad it was great!
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  • mstar284mstar284 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_creative-ways-ask-bms-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:658c374b-3fbb-49fd-b026-534d76b3bdf7Post:48577689-9afb-40ca-8c11-e4e96b8ade6a">Re: Creative ways to ask BMs to be in your wedding???</a>:
    [QUOTE]Mstar284, Is the dress in your signature the one you've chosen or just one you really like? I tried this dress on and it was one of my top 3, it is gorgeous and super flattering.Posted by rainedrop6[/QUOTE]

    It was the first dress I ever liked online. I tried it on in the store, and it looked GORGEOUS....but a little too much fluff and fabric for me. Plus, I could barely walk; it must have weighed 20 lbs :) I tried on so many awesome dresses that day that I wasn't a bit disappointed.

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    Anniversary
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