Wedding Party

Who typically gives speeches at weddings?

Both our best man and MOH said they wanted to. Should we ask any of the other bridesmaids/groomsmen want to say a few words as well? Also, the groom needs to give a thank you speech, right? What about any of the parents? Sorry, I am clueless on this!

Re: Who typically gives speeches at weddings?

  • mattycammattycam member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2013
    You can have as much or little speeches as you want...however, I would advise you keep it to your MOH,BM (bestman), parents and yourselves (B&G) as speeches can become long and boring.
  • Anyone can give a speech/toast.  Typically people will volunteer to say a few words, but don't ever ask anyone.  Some people hate to speak in front of crowds and if you ask them they will feel pressured to do it even if they don't want to.

    As for a thank you speech, you or your FI or both of you could give one but it isn't required or necessary.

    At our wedding we had zero toasts or speeches.  I don't think anyone missed them.

  • Ours ended up like this:

    Me welcoming and thanking everyone (DH stood up with me, but isn't a public speaker)
    BM
    MOH
    Bridesmaids (as a group)
    FOG
    FOB

    It was a bit much, but I'm grateful for the kind words.

  • It's up to you.  Many people will even prefer to skip speeches.

    If you want to do them, though, I'd set some limits.

    I wouldn't do more than three speeches, and keep them to under 20 minutes total.  At receptions, people really don't want to feel like captive audiences, which is what happens when there are too many speeches and/or they go on too long.

    As to who gives them, they can be parents, best man or MOH, siblings or other close friends.  One thing: I would not allow anyone to speak who is not sober and clear-headed, and I also would not allow humor at anyone's expense or embarrassing/humiliating stories during the speeches.  If it looks like a speaker is going to do that, cut them off pronto.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-typically-gives-speeches-at-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6ce8d61a-2b01-4c90-92cc-a584425de692Post:d545f5c6-0a97-4a5f-9d71-0a232a8532c1">Re: Who typically gives speeches at weddings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't ASK people to do speeches in your honor.  I mean, really, think about it.  "Hey guys, would you do us a big favor and stand up in front of everyone to talk about how great we are and how happy you are for us?" Anyone can give a speech but they should be volunteered never requested. At our wedding, we toasted our guests and thanked them for coming and the Best Man toasted us.  That was it.  
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>Oops, we sent out an email to the wedding party asking that if anyone wanted to say anything let us know if they thought they needed a microphone or not. Oops!</div>
  • itzMSitzMS member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2013
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-typically-gives-speeches-at-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6ce8d61a-2b01-4c90-92cc-a584425de692Post:0074b5ee-f04c-477c-af02-39f3b2ec5e35">Re: Who typically gives speeches at weddings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Who typically gives speeches at weddings? : Oops, we sent out an email to the wedding party asking that if anyone wanted to say anything let us know if they thought they needed a microphone or not. Oops!
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    I think you're OK on this, since you clearly indicated it was optional.

    I've given a toast as a bridesmaid multiple times, and was thrilled to know (usually in the form of an email like yours) that the bride & groom were open to other wedding party members besides the BM and MOH saying a few words.
  • Our BM and MOH are toasting. My dad is going back and forth on whether he wants to say something, but if he does it will be during the rehearsal dinner. 

    Neither FI or I were planning to speak...now I wonder if we should. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • FOB gave a welcoming speech and thanks on behalf of MOB, FOG, and MOG.
    FOG spoke at rehearsal dinner only
    Best man and MOH gave a joint speech
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-typically-gives-speeches-at-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:6ce8d61a-2b01-4c90-92cc-a584425de692Post:be93abfd-c397-437e-8ba5-3f518927ebd4">Who typically gives speeches at weddings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Both our best man and MOH said they wanted to. Should we ask any of the other bridesmaids/groomsmen want to say a few words as well? <strong>Also, the groom needs to give a thank you speech, right?</strong> What about any of the parents? Sorry, I am clueless on this!
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    No.  The couple need to thank their guests for attending, yes.  But this need not be done in a speech.  They can go to each table to thank their guests, or they can do it in a receiving line.
  • If you are having a rehearsal dinner that's also a good time for speeches. I think a good rule of thumb is 5 min tops per speech.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_who-typically-gives-speeches-at-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:6ce8d61a-2b01-4c90-92cc-a584425de692Post:be93abfd-c397-437e-8ba5-3f518927ebd4">Who typically gives speeches at weddings?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Both our best man and MOH said they wanted to. Should we ask any of the other bridesmaids/groomsmen want to say a few words as well? Also, the groom needs to give a thank you speech, right? What about any of the parents? Sorry, I am clueless on this!
    Posted by SmallenForever[/QUOTE]

    There really isn't a "typical" scenario.  I have not been to a wedding where attendants other than the two honor attendants give toasts (not speeches).  Sometimes, parents give toasts, sometimes not.

    At our wedding, there were four toasts.  Each of our honor attendants gave toasts to us, H thanked our guests with a toast, and finally, I thanked our guests with a toast as well, highlighting my uncle and aunt's 53rd wedding anniversary (same date as our wedding).

    There is no right or wrong way to do it, although it might seem a bit odd if the hosts (your parents, his parents, or the two of you) do not thank the guests.  Good luck!
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