Wedding Party

Bridesmaid Dress Dillema

Hi!

This is my first post on the knot, so I just want to say that it is very exciting to be here!

So, I have decided that, as I have a wide variety of sizes for my Bridesmaids, I am going to let them all choose the style of dress that they want.

However, I want to pick the color, and I want all my bridesmaids (I have 6) to match in color.

My dilemma is that one of my BM's has decided that she wants to make her own dress. While I don't doubt that she has the technical skills to make a dress, I am VERY worried about the fabric and color being the same as the other bridesmaids.

I have another one who has asked me to be a BM in her wedding, but has assured me that I don't have to buy a dress, which makes me feel like a total jerk for making her buy hers.

Any ideas on what I should do?

Re: Bridesmaid Dress Dillema

  • First off, good idea on letting them pick their own dresses. I did this (Picture in siggy) and they loved it. I have 2 of them that have worn them again already, the other 2 being my sisters...lol. 

    For the girl who wants to make her own dress, a lot of the dress companies can sell you yards of the fabric. I would do it this way if you're concerned about color and fabric. But if you pick a color like black, I don't think it'll matter.

    As for the girl not making you buy a dress, do not feel bad. This is her choice not to make you wear something selected. But, again, you may want to consider asking your girls to do the same. 

    In the end, you're not a jerk for asking them to buy these dresses. When you agree to be a bridesmaid, you figure that you're going to have to buy a dress. The fact that she ISN'T making you do this is just special. Make sure to thank her for it. 
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  • Ditto Stina 100%.

  • Ask the dressmaker girl if you can approve the fabric beforehand. You could give them all a paint swatch and ask them to match that color as closely as possible. Or ask them all to get their dress from the same designer, and then say that anyone who wants to have her dress custom-made is welcome to order the fabric bolts from that designer, so that they get the style they want but they still match colors.

    Don't feel bad about having the BM buy her own dress. Like PP said, that's part of the "obligations" of being a BM. As long as you don't demand that they buy something and don't forget to ask about their dress budget before you decide on something, you're fine. (So it's not good to say, "The dress will be $250 and I assume you can all afford it.")
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  • what everyone else said.  oh, and it's awesome that one of your BMs is going to make her own dress. 
  • She may back out of making the dress; our groomswoman was going to make hers but decided against it.  I think that getting the extra fabric directly from the dressmaker, or giving her a swatch of everyone else's fabric and trusting her to match it, would be best.
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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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