Large wedding party versus small wedding party??

beckyjason10

My finace and I are very close to our forties (well, he is there and I'm not far behind) and we have been together for a very long time and have two children together.  We have decided that our daughter will be Maid of Honor and our son will be Best Man.  However, my finace thinks we still need to have other attendants and I feel we don't.  Do I give in and have this huge wedding party or do I stand my ground?  We have gotten some "snide" comments from family and friends when we mention having our kids as our attendants, mostly because they can't sign the marriage certificate.

PinkGold&Roses

Honestly, I would say leave it at just a MOH and Best Man.  I am having 8 girls (MOH, plus 7 BM's) and it's hectic.  Especially when one of them decides she wants to be difficult about the dress or something petty like that.  So many things can go wrong when you have a big wedding party, so it will be much easier to keep it small, IMO.

CassieeK

I think it's very sweet and intimate to just have the kids. A friend of mine did that last summer, and it was great. Everyone thought it was just right! 

iluvmy0341

Wow! Screw your family!! When my dad remarried, the children (a total of 10 of us!) were the attendants. So there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with having your children--in fact, your children are probably excited to be your attendants!

mbcdefg

If your fiance has other friends that he really wants to include, then he can include who he wants and you can keep your side small if you prefer. It doesn't matter how old you are.

If he ONLY wants more attendants to "make things look better," or appease your families, then that's not right. Talk to him and remind him that all that matters is what YOU GUYS want.

For what it's worth, we just had my brother, my sister and two friends. It was fantastic only having to worry about (and pay for) four people, four people we're quite close to.

Soon2BeMrsTing

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_large-wedding-party-versus-small-wedding-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:705eab49-05e3-4948-9daa-37d3bb62d61aPost:32d7ce69-17ec-4bed-84b8-ea60ecabff89">Re: Large wedding party versus small wedding party??</a>:
[QUOTE]I need one piece of information that is missing here.  How OLD are the children?  Are they old enough to understand what is happening? I am a retired church organist.  One way I determined my fees was by asking how large was the wedding party.  If it was big, I upped my fee.  The larger the wedding party, the more trouble it is going to be.  OK, there are exceptions, but after playing for more than 100 church weddings, I have found this to be accurate.  <strong>I also noticed that the younger the bride, the more attendants she thought she needed. </strong>As long as your children are old enough to really participate, I think you are planning a very sensible wedding, and it will be very meaningful for you, too.  Keep it simple.  You will be glad you did.
Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Fascinating observation, CMGr.

DH and I were twenty-eight when we married, and had a total of eight in our WP.  We know friends who married right out of college who had ten <em>on each side.</em>  But I wonder if that's done more in the South?  We are from the northeast, and have yet to see a BP that large.