Gift for BM that can't make it...

eehendrix

I have a bridesmaid who just had a baby prematurely, lives out of state, and is unable to attend my wedding in a few weeks. She had already bought the BM dress, and I want to give her a nice gift. However, the gifts I'm giving my other BM's is related to the wedding (flip flops, clutch purse that matches dresses, etc). Do I get my new-mommy bridesmaid the same thing? Or should I just get her a nice gift, unrelated to the wedding? I really want to show her that I'll miss her on my big day!

Magdala9

Get her a nice gift unrelated to the wedding and related to her new darling baby.  Use the card to tell her how much she means to you, that you will miss her and how you look forward to meeting her darling baby.    

Premature babies often come with medical challenges that need to be surmounted.   You want to express joy at her motherhood and not reflect too much on yourself.  Her world just shifted in ways she does not yet understand.

mbcdefg

I think you should get EVERYONE a gift that's not wedding-related. Theming a gift for someone else around your wedding isn't really a gift for them.

Get them each something they will like and use for their own lives.

Not directed specifically at you, hendrix, but I just don't get the trend of flip-flops being a "bridesmaid gift." Everyone who likes flip-flops owns a pair, and if not they're $2.50 at Old Navy.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gift-bm-cant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:76f5400d-6798-458a-be3e-dd368f147fe0Post:6fbcf476-c9b2-4fab-b498-0f7f561905d8">Re: Gift for BM that can't make it...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should get EVERYONE a gift that's not wedding-related. Theming a gift for someone else around your wedding isn't really a gift for them. Get them each something they will like and use for their own lives. Not directed specifically at you, hendrix, but I just don't get the trend of flip-flops being a "bridesmaid gift." Everyone who likes flip-flops owns a pair, and if not they're $2.50 at Old Navy.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

<div>Seconded.</div>

acmj11

I've gotten 2 pairs of flip flops as bridesmaid "gifts".  Can't tell you were either of them are.  I agree with PPs.  Since it's supposed to be a gift, please add something to it for them.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_gift-bm-cant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:76f5400d-6798-458a-be3e-dd368f147fe0Post:6fbcf476-c9b2-4fab-b498-0f7f561905d8">Re: Gift for BM that can't make it...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you should get EVERYONE a gift that's not wedding-related. Theming a gift for someone else around your wedding isn't really a gift for them. Get them each something they will like and use for their own lives. Not directed specifically at you, hendrix, but I just don't get the trend of flip-flops being a "bridesmaid gift." Everyone who likes flip-flops owns a pair, and if not they're $2.50 at Old Navy.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
Yeah, the flip flop thing is even more puzzling to me than the tote bag thing.

thesequel

WP should be bought as if you were shopping for their birthday.  Personal and something that they would like....and completely unrelated to your wedding.  I have gotten two (tacky) necklaces so that I could wear it with my dress (that I will never wear again).  I felt like a Barbie doll being dressed up...and not like someone appreciated.

iluvmy0341

I would certainly get her something non-wedding related. Make her a gift basket with baby stuff and mommy stuff (bath salts, lotions, a cute non-prego top!).

I would also (if you haven't already bought them) change the gifts for the bridesmaids. I'm with everyone on the flip-flop and tote bag thing...really when did that start?! I wouldn't ever use a tote bag that said "Bridesmaid" or something related to the wedding besides ont he wedding day to carry my stuff for dressing/prepping. I bought all my bridesmaids dresses (hey they were on sale at Marshall's in the wedding colors for $15 each!! can't beat that!) but I'm also giving them pearl necklaces that I'm making to wear (plus every woman needs a classic pearl necklace!), and I'm putting them in individual wooden boxes that I'm burning designs into specially for each girl. Like my MOH, we lived together in Hawaii, so hers will be Hawaiian themed, my sister's will be sparrow-themed (she's had this thing with sparrows lately!), and my other sister's will be basketball themed (she's 10 and really into basketball right now). It's something cute they'll always have and can use for whatever.