Older Ring Bearer??

remington23

So we are planning to have 2 flower girls, ages 8 and 7. A ltitle older than traditional but my cousins daughter who I am extreamly close to will be 8. Then we are going to have my fiance's neice who will be 7 walk with her. We figure while little girls are extra cute the 8 year old is who I am close to and being older the girls might be better behaved and cooperative.

For our ring bearer, there is really only one nephew of my fiance that he is close to. I don't have any younger boys that would fit this role. However the newphew will be 11. My mom says it will look dumb to have him as ring bearer and we should add another girl and make them jr groomsmen and bridesmaid. But we don't want to keep adding to wedding party either. We both initially wanted small (smaller then we will prob already end up with).

Any suggestions on how we can use the 11 year old without it looking silly?

mbcdefg

You don't need to be asking people this far out. Sleep on this decison for at least three more months.

If you want to include this kid, ask him if he wants to be a ring bearer or a groomsman. He's old enough to tell you what he thinks is cool/babyish. And you don't need a corresponding young bridesmaid to pair with him. Your sides don't need to be even.

Your mom needs to (a) butt out, and (b) worry about PEOPLE rather than how things will look. You need to include people because you love them, not because you think it'll make things look nicer or more balanced.

If you are just interested in including this kid because he could fill the ring bearer role, then don't ask him. You don't need a ring bearer, and you shouldn't include people just to fill a position or a numbered slot (like bringing in a junior bridesmaid to pair with him). Or have one of the girls be the ring bearer.

remington23

We are using him to fill that traditional 'spot' per say. But my fiance is very close to him. He has him over a lot to help do yard work and then he pays him and they hang out playing basketball, video games, etc. I think he pans to have him for an over night this weekend. He is a good kid. We also think he will feel really special to be a part of it because we can tell how much he likes to come over and spend time with his uncle.

vicki0508

If he wants to be the RB, then let him be the RB.  Nobody will think he's too old or that it would look weird.

If he thinks he's too old to be a RB, he could be a GM (leave off the junior title, it's just superfluous) and you don't have to add another BM.  Uneven sides are fine.

mia082683

My godson is going to be 10 when we get married.  I didn't feel comfortable with making him be a ring bearer as I feel traditioanlly that ring bearers are young boys.  We have two flower girls who are 5 and 6, and my godson will be a junior groomsman who walks the two flower girls down the aisle.  Just another idea!

annherle

I think talk to your nephew and see what he wants to do in the wedding. If he wants to be a ring bearer he can. We have a six. year old for a bell ringer/ring bearer.. my ring bearers are 1.5 and 2.5 yrs old. then we have 3 flowers girl.  1.5, 2 and 8 yrs old. I think as long as the kids are fine with it then do it! LOL.. I dont think it matters what age the ring bearer is, i think thats more of the flower girl

remington23

Thanks for the advice!

mia082683 - That is what I was thinking... have him walk the two girls down the aisle so he doesn't walk alone and feel weird. My 3 will all be about a year older than your 3!

leah2489

My son will be 11 when we get married, and he will be the ring bearer. He will be walking down with our daughter who will be 6, so they may be mismatched size wise but I wanted them to be a part of our day, and I thought this would be the best way. They are both extremely excited. He doesn't know that this is typically a job for younger kids, so he doesn't feel like its a baby job.

KalaniKekoa

I don't think he's too old to be a ring bearer and you definitely don't need matching sides. My FI's little brother will almost be 11 when we get married and he's going to be the ring bearer and a junior groomsmen. We aren't having a flower girl either so our sides won't be even. Another idea is that the ring bearer doesn't have to carry a pillow if he doesn't want to. He could carry a ring box in his pocket and simply present the rings at the right time. Any way you go just remember that it's your wedding and it doesn't have to fit into this little stereotypical box. You can have your wedding be any way you want.