What should I do? ( A little long)

[Deleted User]

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renegade gaucho

No, you don't need to ask his fiance to be in the wedding.  My husband has been in several weddings that I have not been asked to be a part of and it never would have occurred to me that I should be offended by that.

renegade gaucho

Also, if the cousin opts out of the wedding party because she wasn't asked to be in it, that's on him, not you or your fiance.

Simply Fated

There isn't a "rule" that the significant other must also be a part of the wedding party. Maybe it's a tradition in some areas or circles? Either way, only the cousin should be asked and if he opts out, then it'll REALLY suck, but if the alternative it to have her in the party, too, it might be for the best.

[Deleted User]

You have no oblilgation to ask her. FI has been in weddings I was not in. I'm sure it will happen again. And I'm sure the reverse will happen. Personally, I have never understood why couples both HAVE to be in a wedding party. What, will their marriage/relationship completely fall apart if they aren't sitting together during the ceremony or if one of them is walking down an aisle with another person? To me, my relationship has NOTHING to do with someone else's wedding party.

Anyway, if your FI's cousin really drops out over that, it's on him and he's the one who looks stupid and childish.

NYCMercedes

No no no. They are independent of each other. They sit together at the reception, but that's it.

itzMS

It's waaayyyyy too early for you to be asking your Wedding Party at this point. A lot can happen in the year and a half you have until your wedding.

I know it's exciting, but just enjoy being engaged and wait at least 6-7 more months before asking your wedding party.

pink34562000

Your FI picks his side, and you pick your side. If you don't want her in the WP, then, don't have her. However, you can invite her to the wedding as a guest of your FI's cousin.

[Deleted User]

Thank You! I appreciate everyone's input

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_what-should-i-do-a-little-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:9e100762-a233-4efc-95dd-81432b0edfd7Post:16fbca5d-cd96-46b7-a6d0-fa002e42a444">Re: What should I do? ( A little long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to What should I do? ( A little long) : FTFY.
Posted by Edie Bee[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks :) </div>

Jen4948

You are not required to have cousin's FI as one of your attendants (or for that matter, anyone else).  Neither your FI, cousin, or cousin's FI get a say in it.  If cousin tries to make his own participation conditional on what you do, I'd tell him, "You don't get a say in who I choose to be in my wedding party, regardless of what your FI wants.  If you feel you can't be in the wedding party if she isn't, that reflects on the two of you and not me."