New Name for Honorary Bridesmaids

jemmini6

CMGr said:

If you can't find a proper name for it, it probably isn't a proper thing to do.

Seriously!  Seems like common sense that if you can't come up with a 'polite' term, then it isn't a polite thing to do.

This is technically advice for lurkers since clearly the OP is beyond accepting help at this point, but just because you have a large family does not mean you need to have them in your WP.  BMs are supposed to be those who are closest to you, not every female who shares your DNA.  Also, every person that you consider a friend does not need to be in your WP either, just those that you consider your absolute closest.

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

winelover123

You're a real peach, OP.

That's all I have, since you won't like my "negative" advice.

virgojazzchick0913

I had a similar issue.  I think if you discuss with your friends and they want to do that you can have a bridal party and then VIP to the bride and groom.  Everyone is happy.  But make sure your friends are cool with getting the dresses.  They'll most likely be happy no matter what because you're getting married and like everyone on here is saying "they'll be there no matter what".  But if they understand your situation go for it!

Peledreamsofrain

Post removed due to GBCK

MaryFaul

I dnt know if this helps, but this is my second wedding and my fi 2nd wedding. We both have children. Mine are older and out of the house and we are raising his children together. Our " bridal party" consists of the 6 children and his children's 1/2 sister ALL of these kids look to US as parents in some or all ways. Our ceremony includes all the children in a blending of the family part of the ceremony. They will be the only ones walking. However, we both have very close friends that for years have been by our side and my fi has one brother. We defin don't want any of them thinking they aren't important. But the ceremony is for my future hubby and I and our children. Our wonderful friends have helped me slave over planning and decorating. Lol. So I explained this to everyone and asked them to be my honored friends. They all have things they are helping us with before during and after lol and I want them acknowledged. I asked them to stand, not walk. They will take their places before our children begin to walk down the aisle. I asked them to wear black dresses they already owned and added that if they could afford it, find shoes in the matching (or close to it) red that is in my color scheme. For they guys just wear their black slacks and white button up shirt ( they all have this already) and a tie. They are listed in my program as "honored friends" they will be included in the pics and I made them all a little tote bag with their name (girls) and guys have a boutiner to wear. At the rehearsal dinner each one has a small gift and a handwritten thank you card for all the help 2 also will do a reading in the ceremony and another 2 will sign our license as witnesses. They will be standing behind the children on both sides. My closest friend I did name her my matron of honor and she will actually walk behind me tending to my dress lol ( her choice). Her gifts and bag reflects that title. The last honored friends (2) one is walking me down the aisle ( not giving me away lol) the other will bring the ring tree to the children as we begin that part of the ceremony. They all are wonderful and I could have tagged everyone along and had an endless line, but for us the ceremony is about our family, but we wanted our closest friends acknowledged. Sorry, I'm so long winded lol. Mine is traditional mixed with " what is best for us" we also have friends coming in from another state, their little girl is very much close to us, but is very shy. We made her a bag, a little shirt, and a favor bag. And she has a little flower basket. She actually is called the "petal princess". Our youngest is carrying a sign not a flower basket , but if our friends lil one wants to ( at any time ) walk around with her little flower basket she can
So, when $$ is a factor or space when choosing a bridal party, there are always ways around it bit may not be traditional but do what means the most to you and show those who mean a lot to you , they are more than a title or a laborer lol. Your close friends/family will understand that you have a limit. There are other ways to incorporate them other than having them stand at the sign in book or what not. ( I'm not doing that boring book ) just dnt fret or freak out, just give it a little thought... That's out the box lol.

AddieCake

Oh, good. The thread that launched the strange series of newb attacks on me has been resurrected. I'm so happy to see it back. 

kamibrown913

Is there a way you could incorporate the term VIP?

southernbelle0915

@kamimunson - this thread is from February.

[Deleted User]

I know 3 people who have has 11 or more bridesmaids. Who's day is it... Not yours. If you wouldn't do it then that's your thing. She was asking advice not criticism and ridicule ! I know this is a few months late but I too am having girls wear another color that goes along with the theme because I don't want to have 20 bridesmaids up with me and was wondering what to call it or whatever.. 4 is all I'm having but I have many friends I care about and want to include them in some way. If they think they are "second best" and don't understand why they aren't up with me then they are probably not someone I want at my wedding anyway. My friends think it's a cool idea.

tpwright

Do you! This is YOUR wedding! A friend.of mine had 6 actual and about 6 honorary. She wanted to honor them.without having it look tacky. I am a June 2014 bride and I am only having honrary. My DF and I only want us and the minister up front, nothing extra, or distracting. They will take pics, have parties, help out. But we are not having flower girls and all that either. Again Do You, but please not 13 plus people. I have been in those and it is awful.

LondonLisa

Zombie thread!

@Tpwright this thread is over a year old- the OP has most likely long gone!

And secondly, make people a bridesmaid or don't- there is no "in between" honourary bridesmaid. Also, what you are describing is forcing your friends to work your wedding, there is no "honour" in that.

grumbledore

This zombie thread made me sad because there are so many users referenced who aren't here now due to All The Bullshit.

claudinehendee

Wow, there are a lot of rude posts here. Why are people taking such great offense to honorary bridesmaid and making it such insult? I think they need to ask themselves this question, why they are so hurt by this. If honorary bridesmaids don't want to buy a lighter shade dress, they can say "no, it's not in my budget." Or, "I rather just be a guest." I'm sure this wedding has come and gone now, but I did agree with someones post that honorary sounds like you can't make it because of a deployment, hospitalization or death. Doesn't mean that is what it is though. Anyway, posters should be much kinder. No one needs more stress during the wedding process. People have to do what works for them. There are always some hard choices to make for a wedding.

holyguacamole79

@claudinehendee‌, I strongly encourage you to change your screenname. I found you quite easily online. Also, this thread is old and does not need to be resurrected. @scribe95