Wedding Party

Crazy friend? (Rant...sorry!)

I'll try to keep this as short as possible, since it's an insane story.

I have a friend I've known since 7th grade (we're 27 now).  We used to be super close, but we have grown very far apart and we don't really hang out anymore or anything.  We text a lot but that's about it (we live 5 minutes from eachother).  Since I met my FI, she has been a constant headache for us.  When he asked me to move in, she said it was too fast, she said I was abandoning her (we lived together) and that we weren't right for eachother.

When we got engaged, she told me she was happy for me, but she couldn't "show that she was excited."  She thinks I want her to cry and scream but I just want her to ask about the planning like a normal friend.  Well, the other day it all came out.  She said that she didn't ask me about my planning b/c I didn't include her in anything - she expected to be invited to cake tastings, food tastings, and to find my wedding dress.  FI and I are very private and we did these things with only eachother (well, the dress I got with my mom).  She said that since she would bring her friends to all of these things, she expected me to bring her.

Then she asked why I hadn't asked her to be in my WP.  I explained that since we really wanted to keep it small, we picked 3 family members and 2 of our friends who were most supportive of us since the beginning, not to mention the fact that we were no longer close.  She asked if I had my good friend Tricia in the wedding (I've known her for 3 years and we hang out ALL the time, she is a great friend to me) and I said yes.  Well, she FLIPPED.  She couldn't believe that I picked Tricia over her.  I said that it isn't the amount of time you know someone, and sometimes relationships and friendships change.  Tricia has been a great friend to both me and my FI and she and I are definitely closer than me and this friend.

So anyways, now she isn't talking to me.  I want to tell myself it isn't some big loss, but I feel bad.  Honestly, I wouldn't have expected to be in her wedding if she were engaged because we just aren't close anymore!  Not to mention the fact that she said she couldn't "show her excitement" for me.  I mean, I want a friend who is smiling and happy at my wedding. 

I would also like to mention the fact that she is a DRAMA QUEEN.  She was a BM in her sister's wedding a few years ago and she "passed out" during the ceremony and had to be removed via ambulance (she was fine, they found nothing wrong with her).  She and her sister still don't speak.  She fakes illnesses quite often for attention.

Sorry...this is more of a rant than anything!!  Thanks for listening if you got this far :)
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Re: Crazy friend? (Rant...sorry!)

  • You didn't do anything wrong, so there's nothing to feel bad about.  If I were you, I'd limit contact with this girl as much as possible. 

    Good luck in planning.
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  • I agree, you did things the right way. It sounds like you do care about how she feels though, but you've already calmly explained your true reasons/feelings to her. Maybe she could do a reading or have some other role?
  • edited March 2012
    I thought about a reading but a) she isn't speaking to me (literally, ignoring me...pretty mature) and b) I feel like if I ask her to do a reading now, she'll feel like I'm doing it out of pity...which...I guess I would be.  I feel like things have gone too far to fix anything enough to have her be a part of the wedding you know?
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited March 2012
    In Response to Re: Crazy friend? (Rant...sorry!):
    I thought about a reading but a) she isn't speaking to me (literally, ignoring me...pretty mature) and b) I feel like if I ask her to do a reading now, she'll feel like I'm doing it out of pity...which...I guess I would be.  I feel like things have gone too far to fix anything enough to have her be a part of the wedding you know?
    Posted by aloisk57
    I get that you have a history and she was once a great friend ... but I think you really need to ask yourself if you want this girl in your life anymore. She sounds like a nut, and I think you'd be better off without her.

    Try not to feel bad. She is the one who chose to turn this into a circus by acting this way. You didn't do anything wrong.
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