Bridesmaids

allielynn22

Ok, I have a big problem, I only really want to have 6 BMs including my MOH however, I am stuck having 9.  I have 4 very close friends that I could not imagine not having in my wedding, and 4 cousins that would be very very hurt if they were not in my wedding party, plus my fiancés sister! I am also getting pressured to put my fiancés older brothers girlfriends (who I was very good friends with in the past, but we are not that close anymore) in the wedding as well. I do not know what to do!!!! I am at a loss, any suggestions would be appreciated! I do not want my wedding to be a circus!

mbcdefg

Your wedding isn't until July 2011, according to your bio. So you have the perfect excuse not to pick anyone right now ... wait until the end of this summer to actually choose anyone. Your relationships with all these people might change by then, and there's no need to choose anyone this early anyway.

When the time comes ... pick the people that YOU want to pick. Don't pick people that you feel obligated or pressured to choose. Bridesmaids should be your closest friends. You can ask other people to do readings as a way to honor them.

Are you close to the cousins? If not, just have your friends, and if the cousins get pouty then tough. You don't owe them a spot. They will get over it.

If you are not close to the girlfriends, stand your ground and say NO. If your FI or your in-laws are the ones pressuring you, then your FI can have them stand on his side as his own attendants.

trix1223

ditto malphabet.  It's way too early to be choosing a WP anyway.  Scroll down this board and you'll see countless posts from brides who asked this far out and now want to know how to get rid of a BM.  Wait until fall to choose and relationships might shake out by then and you'll have a clearer picture.

I am curious though about the randomness of saying that you want 6 bridesmaids.  Why the number 6?  Why not 4?  Or why not just have a MOH and save yourself the headaches of having to choose among cousins and friends?  It just seems like you've picked a number to hang your hat on, and that seems counterproductive to me.

aerinpegadrak

Don't pick people that you aren't emotionally close to, just because you're obligated.  In probably about 90% of the cases of people coming here with bridesmaid drama, it's because they didn't have all that great a relationship in the first place, and the wedding just exacerbated the issues.

Wait to ask.  Then ask who you want.  If people get butthurt, just say that you couldn't possibly ask everyone, and leave it at that.

sjhoffman84

it;s your day, pick who you want and if you think others will be hurt, include them in other ways, ask people to do a special reading or something

gottahavashorti

Wait to choose, but ask people who you really want to be there rather than trying to have X number in your WP. 

An idea for you though - at one wedding we went to last year, the bride had 7 very close friends from home as well as close friends from school.  She didn't want a huge bridal party but if she asked 2 she'd have to ask them all.  So she chose one friend from home and one from school.

You could do something like that, or limit it to just the friends or just the cousins if you are still having difficulty narrowing it down and don't want a huge WP.