BM's death in the family

ruffjewel

one  my BM's mother has past and another BM's grandmother has died also m ry weding is till 8 months away so should I expect them to still be in the wedding or should I find 2 new girls, I want to respect them griving but my planning still has to go on right?????

pkontk

According to your ticker you have nine months. Yes, they will be sad, especially your friend who lost her mother. Be a friend and support them during this difficult time. I cannot fathom why this would be a reason to replace them. In fact, that would be a huge slap in the face after deaths of close family members. Just don't do it.

RebeccaB88

If my rough translation is correct, you're asking if you should kick two of your bridesmaids out of the wedding party because they had deaths in the family?  Correct?

No.  That's incredibly rude and a friendship ender.  If they feel they need to step down, they will come to you and tell you. Otherwise back off the wedding talk, give them some space to grieve, and quietly go on with your planning. All they really have to do is get the dress and show up at the ceremony, and that's 8 months away.  There's plenty of time. Maybe spend some time with them as a friend (not a bride) if they need a shoulder to cry on, or talk with.

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bms-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:bc264ef8-594b-44a0-9c8f-0f818ade3e99Post:5df1762b-8ed3-4a94-88b6-378f5acfce44">BM's death in the family</a>:
[QUOTE]one  my BM's mother has past and another BM's grandmother has died also m ry weding is till 8 months away so should I expect them to still be in the wedding or should I find 2 new girls, I want to respect them griving but my planning still has to go on right?????
Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]
Your friends have suffered tremendous losses, and your first thought is how it's going to affect your party that's nearly a year away?  Grow up and find some humanity.  If you want anyone you know to retain the slightest amount of respect for you, don't breathe another word of this line of thought to anyone.

misssunshine17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bms-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:bc264ef8-594b-44a0-9c8f-0f818ade3e99Post:f92810f1-0eb2-4438-85bb-137ff368feb9">Re: BM's death in the family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to BM's death in the family :<strong> Your friends have suffered tremendous losses, and your first thought is how it's going to affect your party that's nearly a year away?  Grow up and find some humanity.  If you want anyone you know to retain the slightest amount of respect for you, don't breathe another word of this line of thought to anyone.</strong>
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

<div>This. I can't believe that someone was as thoughtless as you were in your post. Grow up. I hope the BM has the sense to find someone other than you for comfort during her time of loss. </div>

Viczaesar

Good lord, OP, really? You're really viewing your good friends' losses through the lens of your 9monthaway wedding?

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bms-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:bc264ef8-594b-44a0-9c8f-0f818ade3e99Post:f92810f1-0eb2-4438-85bb-137ff368feb9">Re: BM's death in the family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to BM's death in the family : Your friends have suffered tremendous losses, and your first thought is how it's going to affect your party that's nearly a year away?  Grow up and find some humanity.  If you want anyone you know to retain the slightest amount of respect for you, don't breathe another word of this line of thought to anyone.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

OP, read this quote and then reread it until you realize how petty you sound.  These women lost two very important people in their lives and all you seem to care about is how your wedding is going to look.

GoodLuckBear14

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bms-death-in-the-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:bc264ef8-594b-44a0-9c8f-0f818ade3e99Post:f92810f1-0eb2-4438-85bb-137ff368feb9">Re: BM's death in the family</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to BM's death in the family : Your friends have suffered tremendous losses, and your first thought is how it's going to affect your party that's nearly a year away?  Grow up and find some humanity.  If you want anyone you know to retain the slightest amount of respect for you, don't breathe another word of this line of thought to anyone.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

Aerin - you said it so much nicer than I ever could.  What I want to tell OP would probably get me banned

jemmini6

Wow...So they lost very close people in their lives, and instead of being there for them and supporting them through their grief, you want to kick them while they're down and kick them out of your wedding because you're concerned about how their tragic loss will affect your pretty princess day 9 MONTHS from now?

With that line of thinking, I think you'd be doing them a favor by kicking them out.  That way they'll see you for what you really are and not waste another ounce of their lives on someone as selfish, insensitive, and petty as you. 

Miss Esa

Kick them out of the WP, and you can pretty much kiss their friendship goodbye.

GroomNeedsAdvice

Late to the party, but JIC... No, do not ask them to step down. If they feel they are unable to be in the WP, they will step down on their own.