bridesmaid turmoil!

coolblue906

For starters my MOH and one of my bridesmaids absolutly hate each other ! We went dress shopping and it went very well . To my utter joy everyone was getting along! A few days after that my bridesmaid informs me that my MOH was treating her horribly ( a complete lie) and now they do not want to be in the same room with one another. Also my bridesmaid is determind to go with her other friend ( who is not in the wedding at all, whom I have never met) to find a dress. I just feel completly lost and hurt by this. I am not sure how to deal with this situation. Any advice ... anyone?

Simply Fated

In Response to Re:bridesmaid turmoil!:[QUOTE]For starters my MOH and one of my bridesmaids absolutly hate each other ! We went dress shopping and it went very well . To my utter joy everyone was getting along! A few days after that my bridesmaid informs me that my MOH was treating her horribly a complete lie and now they do not want to be in the same room with one another. Also my bridesmaid is determind to go with her other friend who is not in the wedding at all, whom I have never met to find a dress. I just feel completly lost and hurt by this. I am not sure how to deal with this situation. Any advice ... anyone? Posted by coolblue906[/QUOTE]

Your MOH and BM don't have to like each other so don't let yourself get worked up over them not being besties.

Offer to go shopping with each girl separately.

If you're worried about them refusing to attend things like the shower or even the wedding if the other one is there, stop worrying. If they're adults they'll put aside their differences, if only for the actual wedding. If they can't do it for your wedding, then there is nothing you can do about that, but enjoy your day, anyway. And I speak from experience because my best friend's sister and I do not get along, but we both attended her birthday without any incidents.

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-turmoil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d0546ae4-56ba-4a3a-b410-1e8c5d76caf0Post:7405b0fd-0512-4c10-beb5-545add8234c5">bridesmaid turmoil!</a>:
[QUOTE]For starters my MOH and one of my bridesmaids absolutly hate each other ! We went dress shopping and it went very well . To my utter joy everyone was getting along! A few days after that my bridesmaid informs me that my MOH was treating her horribly ( a complete lie) and now they do not want to be in the same room with one another. Also my bridesmaid is determind to go with her other friend ( who is not in the wedding at all, whom I have never met) to find a dress. I just feel completly lost and hurt by this. I am not sure how to deal with this situation. Any advice ... anyone?
Posted by coolblue906[/QUOTE]

<div>My BMs and I were never dress shopping in the same boutique at the same time. (My BMs are also just as close to each other as they are to me if not more close.) I picked a dress they both liked and that ended up looking super fab on both of them.</div><div>
</div><div>I am sorry that two people who are so important to you don't get along, but as long as they are willing to play nice for the wedding, I think this will be okay. They don't have to dress shop together, or even with you. They don't even have to wear the same dress, an option which might save more headache than it causes in a case like this.</div><div>
</div><div>I would suggest asking them not to bring you into this. However, that also means that you should reduce the times that you are going to expect to see them both in the same room to as few as possible.</div>

Peledreamsofrain

Your wedding doesn't have some sort of magically happy properties to bring about world peace.  Stop forcing these girls together, and let them be.  Shop seperately, don't make them pal around at your rehersal dinner, etc.  It's not ideal, but you should have known and accepted that when you selected two girls who don't like each other. 

As long as they aren't forced together all the time, they should cool down and default to ignoring each other.  And if your girls are excessively immature and can't even manage that much, then just divert them when they drama llama at you.

For example:

BM:  "Oh my gawd, Betsy TOTALLY looked at me!!!  EEEE that hag!"
You:  "I'm sorry, but I'm very busy, I have to go."
BM: "Don't you even CARE?  I'm like, going to DIE because of this."
You:  "It's really none of my business, have a nice day" 

Jen4948

I'd stay out of it between them and just tell them, "I'm staying out of it between you because you're both important to me.  All I ask is that you be civil to each other, not that you become best friends."

pretzelgrrl

   I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know I know what you are going through.  It is not as everyone says that you just hav to not force them together.  I had two bridesmaid that didn't get along.  I didn't make them go dress shopping together but they still managed to not get along.
    I did my best to stay neutral and stay out of it.  I also followed a previous posters advice to let them both know how important both of them were to me. They both did a great job getting along at the bridal shower and wedding.
   However, after the wedding one of them told me they no longer wanted to be my friend because I didn't support them and they didn't think they could be friends with someone who was friends with a person like the other bridesmaid.  It was heart-breaking for me.  
  
  

arco13

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_bridesmaid-turmoil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d0546ae4-56ba-4a3a-b410-1e8c5d76caf0Post:5f519ef2-7c57-4007-a208-53f63a97dbab">Re: bridesmaid turmoil!</a>:
[QUOTE]   I don't have any advice but I wanted to let you know I know what you are going through.  It is not as everyone says that you just hav to not force them together.  I had two bridesmaid that didn't get along.  I didn't make them go dress shopping together but they still managed to not get along.     I did my best to stay neutral and stay out of it.  I also followed a previous posters advice to let them both know how important both of them were to me. They both did a great job getting along at the bridal shower and wedding.  <strong>  However, after the wedding one of them told me they no longer wanted to be my friend because I didn't support them and they didn't think they could be friends with someone who was friends with a person like the other bridesmaid.  It was heart-breaking for me.        </strong>
Posted by pretzelgrrl[/QUOTE]

Ugh, sounds like you're the one better off for that loss.