Choosing MOH (long)

AmazingBee

I've been debating back and forth on who should I choose to be my MOH! I am having a wedding in Los Angeles our home town. I do not have a best friend however, I do have a few close friends, I only have one sister who will be only 19 when the wedding comes. ( she is away at school but comes home often). When i first started wedding planning by default of her being my only sister I wanted her to be my MOH. She is very mature for her age dont get me wrong, But I am starting to feel like she isn't ready for that type of responsibilty. On the other hand my really close friend has stepped up after me asking her to be a bridesmaid to help me with planning and ideas. Now I am wondering she I ask her to be my MOH? we've been friends since 7th grade. if I do this I still want me sister to feel special so I was thinking of letting her wear a different dress with a different color. what would you do?

*I dont expect anyone to help me plan my wedding I just feel like my friend will be going above and beyond. she lives two hours from me and i am she will be making multiple trips back and forth and also flying out for the wedding! I just want her to know I dont take her for granted.

Thanks

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:4df4d6d2-23c2-49b5-b347-2ee8866d50a2">Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]I've been debating back and forth on who should I choose to be my MOH! I am having a wedding in Los Angeles our home town. I do not have a best friend however, I do have a few close friends, I only have one sister who will be only 19 when the wedding comes. ( she is away at school but comes home often). When i first started wedding planning by default of her being my only sister I wanted her to be my MOH. She is very mature for her age dont get me wrong, But I am starting to feel like she isn't ready for that type of responsibilty. On the other hand my really close friend has stepped up after me asking her to be a bridesmaid to help me with planning and ideas. Now I am wondering she I ask her to be my MOH? we've been friends since 7th grade. if I do this I still want me sister to feel special so I was thinking of letting her wear a different dress with a different color. what would you do? *I dont expect anyone to help me plan my wedding I just feel like my friend will be going above and beyond. she lives two hours from me and i am she will be making multiple trips back and forth and also flying out for the wedding! I just want her to know I dont take her for granted. Thanks
Posted by AmazingBee[/QUOTE]

If your wedding date is correct, do not ask anyone at this time. March 2014 is a year and a half away, people change relationships change. For all you know, your sister and you could become even closer from now until then. Otherwise, why not have two?

AmazingBee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:8d382e3b-629f-4b38-9609-ae72b586d92a">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Choosing MOH (long) : If your wedding date is correct, do not ask anyone at this time. March 2014 is a year and a half away, people change relationships change. For all you know, your sister and you could become even closer from now until then. Otherwise, why not have two?
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

I never thought about having two. Would there have to be two bestmen?

brittany634

What exactly are her responsabilities?

AmazingBee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:e0967eb3-0356-4b08-a915-66206ea7e553">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]What exactly are her responsabilities?
Posted by brittany634[/QUOTE]
 My sister doesn't have any that i assigned to her but she need let me know that it may be too much for her since she is stil young. I already let her know that I dont equire her to do anything but love me and support me. but given that she is only 18 she it over thinking the role and i don't want her being uncomfortable.

Stina51286

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:4f2e7fd2-eb26-4a7f-b9a1-aede95aa3d07">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Choosing MOH (long) :  My sister doesn't have any that i assigned to her but she need let me know that it may be too much for her since she is stil young. I already let her know that I dont equire her to do anything but love me and support me. but given that she is only 18 she it over thinking the role and i don't want her being uncomfortable.
Posted by AmazingBee[/QUOTE]

So what responsibilities did you assign to your friend?

Peledreamsofrain

How refreshing! This isn't the usual post we get from new brides struggling with picking their party. Good for you for being realistic and being more concerned with relationship impacts. I can completely understand feeling awkward about a BM who volunteers a lot of time and effort, yet isn't especially singled out for it. It is entirely ok to have two MOHs. Toss any ideas of even sides out the window. It's unecessary, silly, and will drive you crazy. It's the people up there that are important, not the numbers. And hold off a bit on asking people. I know it's exciting, but life changes pretty drastically over time. You'd be surprised what issues come up.

AmazingBee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:4e5a64b7-8b57-42dd-bb9e-d5a30f43fca5">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Choosing MOH (long) : So what responsibilities did you assign to your friend?
Posted by Stina51286[/QUOTE]

she OFFERED to help keep track and communicate with the rest of the girls and to drive down to help diy with decor and invitations etc.

AmazingBee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:b1fc4b92-b3e9-42ff-a879-8491522f9bec">Re:Choosing MOH long</a>:
[QUOTE]How refreshing! This isn't the usual post we get from new brides struggling with picking their party. Good for you for being realistic and being more concerned with relationship impacts. I can completely understand feeling awkward about a BM who volunteers a lot of time and effort, yet isn't especially singled out for it. It is entirely ok to have two MOHs. Toss any ideas of even sides out the window. It's unecessary, silly, and will drive you crazy. It's the people up there that are important, not the numbers. And hold off a bit on asking people. I know it's exciting, but life changes pretty drastically over time. You'd be surprised what issues come up.
Posted by Peledreamsofrain[/QUOTE]

Thank you for you positive repsonse! I am going to hold off of choosing someone I was just thinking about it so I wont feel stressed when the time does come. considering i am planning a wedding in LA from TX.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:fa5644e8-8ece-4cd9-840f-25588d1359de">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Choosing MOH (long) : she OFFERED to help keep track and communicate with the rest of the girls and to drive down to help diy with decor and invitations etc.
Posted by AmazingBee[/QUOTE]

<div>Great, but what does that have to do with who you choose for MOH?</div><div>
</div><div>I agree with PPs.  You shouldn't make any decisions or ask anyone until 9-12 months ahead of the wedding.  </div>

AmazingBee

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_choosing-moh-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:e4e61e66-4054-49df-b1e4-02bc6cc18701Post:bd70fd93-0930-468e-b25d-fbb79f53fa6d">Re: Choosing MOH (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]she OFFERED to help keep track and communicate with the rest of the girls and to drive down to help diy with decor and invitations etc. Oh, that's entirely different. You've got a great friend. I always tell people to pretend it's 3 am, and they need to get rid of a body.  Who do they trust enough to call? This person sounds as if she'd do anything for you, so why not choose her?
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

When I first got engaged I just assumed It should be my only sister. But now I may just have my friend as MOH and my sister as matron? Or just let my sis be a maid with a completely different dress.

SKPM

Is your sister married? Matron of Honor is the same as Maid of Honor but "matron" refers to a married woman whereas "maid" denotes unmarried.