Anticipating the Drama * LENGTHY*

nikkilee819

So my fiancé and I got engaged about two months ago, and we are both nearing the end of college. We have classes to finish, money to save, and grad school interviews before we even think about cementing a date. But I have been thinking about who will be in our wedding party. VERY long story and very specific circumstances, but I'd appreciate some thoughts. 

This is a problem in several ways. First of all, my fiancé and I have always been best friends with each other and other friends have always come and gone. His best friend fell into addiction and we cut ties. My best girl friends have either moved or we haven't kept in touch. In fact, most of our friends are people we met in college. 

I often hesitate to call them friends, however. It seems as though every other day they forget to be supportive, available, or even decent. We both have serious concerns that we even want them to attend. And they are all men. I wouldn't be opposed to having men on my side and men on my fiancé's side of the party, but I don't know if I can name one of them that I feel has been supportive enough to stand by us at our wedding. 

As harsh as it sounds, we have been itching to escape our surroundings and start over. We have even considered postponing the wedding a year to truly narrow down the guest list. We are convinced that these individuals wouldn't bother to keep in touch once we move and we wouldn't have to worry about  including them. 

The topper on the cake, so to speak, is that they think they have been GREAT friends. They are socially inept and jokingly threatened that they "better be invited." One has even insisted that he be the best man and our other friend be my man of honor. I think you can sense the immaturity right there. If we invited them to the wedding but did not make them part of the wedding party they would freak out. 

So after THAT lengthy back story, here is my question. Should we move on together to better things and plan a wedding at a later date without them, or should we keep our estimated date and invite them and accept that up to this point, they have been part of our lives? Or hey, maybe there is another option I haven't thought of. 

Thanks for any advice. 

mboja1fv

I relate - I have immature (guy) friends that really haven't been great friends in a I'll always be there for you sense - but we had so much fun together. We rarely see eachother and don't really have much to talk about anymore. They are the friends that instead of making new memories, just resonate on all the old ones every time we see eachother. I also have a GM who threatens to bring a clown as the +1 but that's a side note.

I am inviting my annoying, don't know if they are going to drink every drip of alcohol friends because I know they will make the day a party. It pains me to imagine how dry (ha) the day will be without them. They are in a way a comic relief. But that's my wedding.

You already don't really see a long term friendship with these friends - so they can't be that offended that you don't offer them a place in your wedding party and if they are well....you won't be seeing them a whole lot. And maybe you want your guest list to be comprised of people you would invite to a graduation (or people who would show up for your graduation). The tone of your wedding and the guestlist is up to you and your fiance. The good news is that it sounds like you the fiance are on the same page