Is it to late to add another bridesmaid?

savidgewedding

I was questioning whether or not to ask a friend of mine to be a bridesmaid. She is the sister to one of my great friends in our group, and the past two years just joined right in. We have just recently gotten closer, and I’m sure is annoyed with me talking about the wedding when we hang out. I didn't ask her when I first got engaged because we never hung out just the two of us, but, now that we have gotten closer I feel awful about not asking her. We are getting married in October, is it too late? I don't want to insult her by asking her now either. Any advice or maybe a suggestion of how else to include her in our wedding?!?!

mbcdefg

I would personally just ask her to do a reading, if you are having readings. Or sing/play an instrument if she's really talented.

Otherwise, just make it a point when you hang out to her to tell her that you're glad the two of you have become closer.

You don't need to add everyone close to you as a bridesmaid.

Summer2011Bride

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_is-it-to-late-to-add-another-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f1462dd4-d1d2-4147-b77f-7ccf9f9b5fdbPost:27bba9ed-da78-45f5-927c-9f44b6f2310f">Is it to late to add another bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]I was questioning whether or not to ask a friend of mine to be a bridesmaid. She is the sister to one of my great friends in our group, and the past two years just joined right in. We have just recently gotten closer, and<strong> I’m sure is annoyed with me talking about the wedding when we hang out.</strong> I didn't ask her when I first got engaged because we never hung out just the two of us, but, now that we have gotten closer I feel awful about not asking her. We are getting married in October, is it too late? I don't want to insult her by asking her now either. Any advice or maybe a suggestion of how else to include her in our wedding?!?!
Posted by savidgewedding[/QUOTE]

For the bolded: then stop talking wedding around her. Even if she was in your wedding, it doesn't mean she wants to hear about it constantly. Give the wedding talk a rest.

I would not ask her at this late date. It would be obvious you asked her after everybody else. I like PP's suggestion of asking her to do a reading.

aragx6

I think it's too late. I agree that asking her to be a reader would be a great idea if you think she'd like that.

Miss_2010

Depends on dress ordering really.  I asked my last bridesmaid in April for our Nov wedding and then she fund out she was pregnant the week after but still really wanted to stand.  Then again we are only having a 9 month engagement so nobody had a long notice about standing for us. 

But if it is too late for dresses (or maybe she is content to not stand), a reading would be nice (if she is into that), or she can go with the wedding party on the limo, etc....make sure people are accounted for, hand out programs, etc.  Keep things in line...give her the ph #'s to all bridal party members and vendors should a problem arise and she can take care of that.  She can go to the salon with you guys and get pampered to, etc, then acknowledge her in your thank you speech. 

A friend of mine had a similar situation as you, she had 2 girls she wanted to have stand but she cut the party off at 5 girls standing.  So these 2 other girls were the problem busters essentially.  My friend said it was the best thing to have that day...she had no idea of any mishaps because the girls took care of it.

pkontk

I think it is too late, especially if she knows you have already chosen the bridal party - she may feel like a 'second choice'.  If you want to honor her, ask her to do a reading, or as PPs said, just tell her the next time you hang out how happy you are that you have gotten so close.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_is-it-to-late-to-add-another-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f1462dd4-d1d2-4147-b77f-7ccf9f9b5fdbPost:9b1a90ac-c989-40c6-a6d5-1986a263e27a">Re: Is it to late to add another bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Depends on dress ordering really.  I asked my last bridesmaid in April for our Nov wedding and then she fund out she was pregnant the week after but still really wanted to stand.  Then again we are only having a 9 month engagement so nobody had a long notice about standing for us.  But if it is too late for dresses (or maybe she is content to not stand), a reading would be nice (if she is into that), or <strong>she can go with the wedding party on the limo, etc....make sure people are accounted for, hand out programs, etc.  Keep things in line...give her the ph #'s to all bridal party members and vendors should a problem arise and she can take care of that.  She can go to the salon with you guys and get pampered to, etc, then acknowledge her in your thank you speech.  A friend of mine had a similar situation as you, she had 2 girls she wanted to have stand but she cut the party off at 5 girls standing.  So these 2 other girls were the problem busters essentially.  My friend said it was the best thing to have that day...she had no idea of any mishaps because the girls took care of it.
</strong>Posted by Miss_2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Don't do this.

</div>

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_is-it-to-late-to-add-another-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:f1462dd4-d1d2-4147-b77f-7ccf9f9b5fdbPost:9b1a90ac-c989-40c6-a6d5-1986a263e27a">Re: Is it to late to add another bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Depends on dress ordering really.  I asked my last bridesmaid in April for our Nov wedding and then she fund out she was pregnant the week after but still really wanted to stand.  Then again we are only having a 9 month engagement so nobody had a long notice about standing for us.  <strong>But if it is too late for dresses (or maybe she is content to not stand), a reading would be nice (if she is into that), or she can go with the wedding party on the limo, etc....make sure people are accounted for, hand out programs, etc.  Keep things in line...give her the ph #'s to all bridal party members and vendors should a problem arise and she can take care of that.  She can go to the salon with you guys and get pampered to, etc, then acknowledge her in your thank you speech.  A friend of mine had a similar situation as you, she had 2 girls she wanted to have stand but she cut the party off at 5 girls standing.  So these 2 other girls were the problem busters essentially.  My friend said it was the best thing to have that day...she had no idea of any mishaps because the girls took care of it.</strong>
Posted by Miss_2010[/QUOTE]
Yeah, no.  No one wants to be the b!tch for the day.  Inviting this girl to get ready with you, ride in the limo, etc. is lovely, but definitely don't turn her into the unpaid coordinator.  The best way to acknowledge the friendship is to let her enjoy herself, not put her to work.

Allyson25

I am having the same issue with one of my friends. I was torn about asking her to be in my wedding, also in October, but ultimately a bunch of different factors made me decide against it. She is helping to plan my bachelorette because she offered to help my bridesmaids, and I plan on getting her something nice for being helpful. I agree with the others, it is definitely NOT ok to have her be your b!tch girl. She's good enough to take care of all the crap, but not good enough to be in your wedding? I would just stick with asking her to do a reading as well.

lb1212

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_is-it-to-late-to-add-another-bridesmaid?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:f1462dd4-d1d2-4147-b77f-7ccf9f9b5fdbPost:9b1a90ac-c989-40c6-a6d5-1986a263e27a">Re: Is it to late to add another bridesmaid?</a>:
[QUOTE]Depends on dress ordering really.  I asked my last bridesmaid in April for our Nov wedding and then she fund out she was pregnant the week after but still really wanted to stand.  Then again we are only having a 9 month engagement so nobody had a long notice about standing for us.  But if it is too late for dresses (or maybe she is content to not stand), a reading would be nice (if she is into that), o<strong>r she can go with the wedding party on the limo, etc....make sure people are accounted for, hand out programs, etc.  Keep things in line...give her the ph #'s to all bridal party members and vendors should a problem arise and she can take care of that</strong>.  She can go to the salon with you guys and get pampered to, etc, then acknowledge her in your thank you speech.  A friend of mine had a similar situation as you, she had 2 girls she wanted to have stand but she cut the party off at 5 girls standing.  So these 2 other girls were the problem busters essentially.  My friend said it was the best thing to have that day...she had no idea of any mishaps because the girls took care of it.
Posted by Miss_2010[/QUOTE]

I think it is ok to ask someone to be an "unofficial" wedding planner.  Especially if she's interested in that and you feel comfortable putting her in that role.  Personally, I would prefer that role to being a BM. =)  I wouldn't ask her to come to the bridal salon with you, unless she's getting her hair/make up done too.  If she does agree, then I would get her a gift similar to the ones you get your BMs.
But, don't feel like you have to give her a special role just because she's a close friend.