Kids in the wedding?!

JackieG77

I have a 1.5 year old son with my soon to be husband.. we want our son to be the ring bearer in our wedding but we are also concerned that it will be very stressful to watch him while we are do everything else, we also dont want to take away from someone elses fun by asking if they could keep an eye on him.. i also have two neices and nephews... paige(11yrs) faith(9yrs) brandon (8yrs) and nick (3yrs) and i would love for them to be a part of our wedding but also want their parents to enjoy themselves. how can i do this or should i just say no kids? help!!

emilyinchile

In terms of the other kids, if you want to have them as part of the wedding talk to their parents - the parents should be able to tell you if their children would be up for something like that and also if they themselves (parents) would be ok with it. Give them the option, then let them make the decision.

For your own son, is there someone close like a sibling who could keep an eye on him during the ceremony and parts of the reception where you're busy (ie. 1st dance)? If the bigger issue is that you don't want to be focused on him for the majority of the reception, I'd suggest leaving him at home, but if it's just a question of a short period of time I'm sure it would be nice for you guys to have him there, and a close friend or relative might not mind since those times aren't really socializing times for the rest of your guests anyway. I'd guess most things could include your son if that's your priority - have him eat with you, do photos with you, etc.

qtpie0430

do you have a babysitter or nanny for your son that you use a lot and wouldnt mind having come to the wedding to keep an eye on him? as for the other kids you could always set up a kids table with coloring books and different activites/items to keep them occupied

banana468

Regarding your own child, it may be very hard unless you have a trusted family member willing to take over 'watching duties' for the wedding.

For the other children, why not talk to their parents first to see how they feel about having children in the wedding?  Then you don't run the risk of hurting the children's feelings if it's too much for their parents. 

mmaxwell818

FI and I have a 21 month old son (he will be 2 1/2 at the time of our wedding) he is going to be our ring bearer. My niece who will be 5 at the wedding is going to be our flower girl. I figure while we are getting ready and everything we have enough family parents/bridal party that people can switch off child duty. My niece won't be a problem cause she will just be so excited...we will probably be able to have her keep an eye on our son for a majority of the time...of course in the same room as all of us. For the wedding ceremony and reception I'm hoping my son will behave well enough to just sit on one of our parents laps and enjoy the whole ceremony. but this is something I've thought about and am considering hiring a babysitter just so we don't have to worry about him. Although if your family is anything like ours they will have no problem taking turns entertaining the little ones!

megk8oz

My neice will be a year and 2 weeks old at my wedding. I've talked this over with my family literally a million times. Initially, I didn't want her to be there, because of her age (Because I didn't want my mom to be stuck watching her all night while my sister had fun). But pretty much everybody in my family is willing to "chip in" on the helping part, so it'll work out that everybody is only watching her for about a 1/2 hour.

We're also have a 8, 9, 12 and 14 year old attending (All boys). With the exception of 1, we're pretty much expecting them to spend most of the night on the dance floor, but like my neice, plenty of family members have offered to "take shifts" where they just keep a special watch out to make sure nobody's up to no good.

I wound up taking my concerns up with the parents involved and this was how we worked it out, I can highly recommend doing the same.

Best wishes!

mbcdefg

I would personally hire a sitter. I would hate to think of, say, your mom keeping an eye on him ... what if he gets cranky during the ceremony and needs to be taken away to calm down? Your mom (or whoever) could miss your vows. Or if it's at the reception, she might miss the father-daughter dance or the toasts or something.

Plus, the reception is to thank your guests for coming. IMO your family members shouldn't have to watch someone else's kid when they could otherwise just be relaxing and enjoying themselves. It's awesome if they offer, and if they split up the time that would be easier, but I personally would just hire someone to care for your son so that your family members can fully relax and enjoy the day. I think that's as much for your own peace of mind as it is for theirs. If you hire a sitter then you have someone devoting 100% of their attention to your son, rather than your family members trying to hear the toasts and keep an eye on Junior running around.

Ditto those who said to talk to your siblings about the nieces and nephews. I think it's sweet to involve them. But I also have zero patience with kids, lol, so IMO that's a lot of kids to manage. They don't have to have a "job" or wear tuxes and FG dresses - they can just wear cute outfits (ask their parents if they already own nice party clothes, or send them to Target or a department store or Marshall's for something nice) and process down the aisle with the wedding party. Child attendants' only real purpose is to look cute, so they will easily accomplish that no matter what since I am sure they are all adorable.