Jewish Weddings

question

So I am Jewish and my fiance is not.  We don't think we want a religious ceremony, and I am not even sure we would be able to have a rabbi marry us if he is not Jewish... 

Anyways, is it still ok to encorporate some Jewish traditions into the reception, such as dancing the hora, ect? 

Can he also not step on the glass if he is not Jewish?

Ahh, I am so lost!!  Thanks!

Re: question

  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    I've attended many interfaith weddings (probably more that are interfaith than not) and yes, most include some Jewish traditions even when it's not a religious ceremony. For my first wedding to a Catholic man (and I'm a non-practicing Jew), we:
    - had both parents walk with both of us down the aisle
    - had a chuppah
    - parents stood up with us under the chuppah
    - he broke the glass (I would probably do that differently now and have both of us break the glass or just me)
    - crowning of the mothers at reception
    - hora at reception

    All of those are cultural traditions and you could do any or none of them, as you want.
  • 2dBride2dBride
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    You could have a rabbi marry you, even if you are not Jewish.  We did.  InterfaithFamily.com has a whole referral service for that.  However, if you'd prefer not to have a Jewish officiant, you can still incorporate Jewish traditions into the ceremony, subject to any limitations imposed by your officiant.
  • edited December 2011
    My brother married a Roman Catholic girl in her church with a reform Rabbi co-officiating.  You just have to ask around and you'll find someone willing to perform the ceremony and they will help you incorporate the traditions into your ceremony.
    ExerciseMilestone image
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    You can also have any of those traditions with a secular officiant.
  • shaina925shaina925
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    Thank you so much for the replies!

    What is a crowning of the mothers?
  • tenofcups4metenofcups4me
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    member
    edited December 2011
    It's also called a mezinke. It's done when the last child of a parent gets married and it takes place during the reception. The parents sit in chairs, the couple places a crown of flowers on the mother, circle the parents (along with their siblings, I believe -- I know that's how we did), then guests come and congratulate the parents and dance. I might not have every detail right, but that's the gist of it.

    In my case, I was the last (second) of my parents to marry and my ex- was the last (third) of his parents. I knew my parents had been looking forward to it and since he was also the last, we gave his parents the option of joining in or not. HIs mom LOVED it (she also loved walking down the aisle with him). It's another one of those cultural, not religious per se, traditions that you can do whether you have a religious ceremony or not.
  • shaina925shaina925
    500 Comments Second Anniversary
    member
    edited December 2011
    Oh I see.. I am the oldest out of three though...
  • edited December 2011
    Get Rabbi Devon Lerner's book: Celebrating Interfaith Marriages: Creating your Jewish/Christian Ceremony- she actually performed DD's wedding and she was wonderful!          
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