Jewish Weddings

What does Kosher-Style really mean?

We are having a conservative ceremony and the officiating rabbi has already told us she can do the ceremony but cannot attend the reception unless it is kosher (which it's not). we told her it would be kosher style, and i feel like the rabbi and I have different ideas of what kosher-style means.

my thoughts were: no shell fish/pork/etc. and no meat and dairy on the same plate. the caterer also provides a strictly kosher meal option for those who need it (maybe 1 or 2 people attending the wedding). i plan on doing  a shared plate for dinner, beef and fish, and possibly having a non-dairy, kosher dessert option in addition to our regular cake, so that we accomodate as many guests as possible.

i think the rabbi's take on kosher-style is not serving any non-kosher meat (i.e. just serving fish/vegetarian/dairy).  i obviously don't want to offend her, but if she's not going to attend the reception anyway...is there really a problem with what I'd be serving?

Re: What does Kosher-Style really mean?

  • LisaBRMLisaBRM member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think kosher-style is a little more than what you're thinking.  Yes, it's no shellfish and no pork, but, I also think kosher style means, if you are serving meat, then there wouldn't be any dairy at all, not just not on the same plate.  The only different, to me, between kosher and kosher-style is that, with kosher-style, the meat and other products used, and the preparation of them are not kosher (not prepared in a kosher kitchen), thereby greatly reducing the price.

    That's my take on kosher-style.  I'm sure there are other interpretations.

    And, to answer your question, there is no problem with what you're serving if you are comfortable with it.
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  • edited December 2011
    My take is the same as LisaBRM's.  I wouldn't call a vegetarian/fish reception kosher-style, I'd call it vegetarian with fish--much more descriptive than kosher-style.  

    There's not a problem with what you're serving by any means, but it's not kosher, and I don't really see why it matters if it's kosher-style.  Our cantor said he would've attended our reception (he had a schedule conflict, so he didn't), which was veg/dairy/fish (and no non-kosher fish), but he would not attend our day-before BBQ where we had nonkosher meat with veg options.  

  • edited December 2011
    I think the problem is that you're confusing kosher with kosher-style.  Your rabbi keeps kosher, actually kosher with all that it entails.  Kosher-style basically means Jewish food that isn't supervised by a rabbi.  It might not have both meat and dairy, pork, or shellfish, bur for it isn't actually kosher.  That's why your rabbi won't eat it.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to Re: What does Kosher-Style really mean?:
    I think the problem is that you're confusing kosher with kosher-style.  Your rabbi keeps kosher, actually kosher with all that it entails.  Kosher-style basically means Jewish food that isn't supervised by a rabbi.  It might not have both meat and dairy, pork, or shellfish, bur for it isn't actually kosher.  That's why your rabbi won't eat it.
    Posted by Starqueg
    I took the OP to mean that her rabbi said that she would attend if the reception was kosher or kosher style, but to her kosher style is dairy/fish, and that's why the OP has this question.  I'll admit that I was reading into it and don't quite understand if the purpose of the question is to just determine what kosher-style is or something more.  

  • jfernandes86jfernandes86 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks all for your insight.  the rabbi won't be attending the reception regardless of what we serve since it won't be kosher (from a kosher kitchen and supervised). i think my initial concern was that she wouldn't feel comfortable performing the ceremony at all unless we were srving food that at least fell into the "kosher-style" category. but i guess that will be a question for her at our next meeting...
  • edited December 2011
    I alway interpret kosher style to mean a milk or meat meal but the food isn't certified kosher. For example, a meat meal would not have any dairy served and no pork but would have unkosher hamburger.

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  • pandalove1pandalove1 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Kosher style means no mixing meat with milk, no shellfish, no pork, or other non-kosher animals.  Kosher mean koshering the kitchen, along with only kosher products. Frankly it's a pain and we picked an officiant who wouldn't require a Kosher reception. Our officiant who is a Modern Orthodox rabbi requested that we have kosher style reception with an option for a kosher meal for those who wish to keep kosher.  
  • lachlomlachlom member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    For a lot of Rabbis, it's not about whether or not they will personally eat the food, but they won't perform weddings that aren't to a certain "standard". A lot of Rabbis(and I'd venture to say ALL Orthodox Rabis) require women to cover their shoulders out of modesty at least under the chuppah. I dress modestly anyway, but if I wanted a sleeveless dress under the chuppah, my Rabbi wouldn't officiate the wedding. Weddings and receptions are mitzvot and many Rabbis feel they must be observed properly. As the reception is a seudat mitzvah, I can understand why they feel the need to have kosher food.

    For the OP, clearly the best thing would be for your rabbi to write down exactly waht she wants.
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