RSVP-Vent

noisulli22

I'm so sick of family and friends not mailing in their respond cards I just want to scream. The RSVP date was May 2nd and my wedding is June 2nd, I have to give my venue a final head count in 2 weeks. And only we only gotten back 30% of our respond cards. I don't mind if ppl don't come but dang send the crap in saying decline. Then what cooked my goose, a couple friends that just got married that vented to me about ppl not responding waited til I called them to mail in their responses. I had one friend in particular that told me she and her husband are still coming but they have been busy so I told her I'm sorry I've been busy too but I paid for those stamps so mail me back my property!! I told her telling me you are coming defeats the purpose of RSVP cards. Then 2 uncles complained to my aunt that they wasn't invited so I tooked the time out to mail them invitations last week so I get their responses back and they declined, I was like that's why I didn't mail you an invitation because I knew you wasn't coming. Oh what really churned my butter my cousin texted me and said my husband misplaced the invitation can we have another one, WHAT??? I told her the respond cards are not coming back to me they are going to my wedding planner so I will take time out my schedule cause you know I ain't doing sh** with my time and the bride will find an extra respond card and mail in your crap. Then my mom, FI and friends are like don't worry! Ok I won't worry thats easier said than done. 

I just don't understand, I put a stamp on the envelope for you, if you live in house you walk to your mailbox and place it in the mailbox and raise the red flag quit holding the card. Then FI is giving people excuses, I told him my aunt is 80 yrs old and she mailed hers back in and had enough sense to decline my uncle(he doesn't attend family gatherings) and my other aunt(not even blood related) who is 82 with terrible arthritis mailed hers back so no one has any excuses!! Those women are the 2 oldest ppl coming. So I'm going to have someone stand at the door with a list of names and if your name ain't on the list you ain't getting in. I don't have extra money to waste, I have a life to live after the wedding, I have a mortgage to pay on June 1st and the wedding is June 2nd. So if I tell my venue that 75 ppl are coming and 80 show up then those 5 ppl won't get in. I don't want to be hit with a bill at the end of the wedding.

TIA for listening. 

futuremrsbecerra

i have a feeling that the same thing is going to end up happening to me too. I told my mom that she will have to call her people if they don't rsvp and she said no bc she already knows who will come and who won't. well then if we already know then why invite them. then my fiance's side keeps telling me they are coming and asking about hotel info but i haven't recieved an rsvp. its not like they  have to pay for postage, I DO!! word of mouth is not how i'm keeping track. they have to send the card back and if not they will be recieving a call and right now its gong to be alot of calls my fiance is going to have to make.

I'm kind of regret putting the date deadline that i did. i should have put it earlier bc now i'm stressing about ordering enough favors and having then get in in time for the wedding. my fiance just says that the favors ( which are koozies) will be first come first serve if we don't have enough to go around. but i also don't want to have 100 left over bc we over shot the guest estimation.

I konw this is going to sound bad BUT I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS WEDDING IS OVER.!!!

melfacto

I feel your pain, people are ridiculous! There's an RSVP card for a reason, it really isn't difficult to drop it back into the mail, I don't think people realize the time and energy brides put into the invitations & rsvp process, and we really don't have the time to be calling mass amounts of people weeks before our weddings.

melntaitt

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_rsvp-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8d51bb8a-13db-48c5-838d-bd06ee067a54Post:ac6dac78-ab76-4afb-ab74-873fc8af62af">RSVP-Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Oh what really churned my butter my cousin texted me and said my husband misplaced the invitation can we have another one,</strong> WHAT??? I told her the respond cards are not coming back to me they are going to my wedding planner so I will take time out my schedule cause you know I ain't doing sh** with my time and the bride will find an extra respond card and mail in your crap.[/QUOTE]

I got that same phone call last night from a friend on mine; she called about our dinner reservations for something else and asked if she could get another one. I guess it isn't as uncommon as I thought it was last night.

Wooosaaaah

It will work out; I promise. My advice to you is to divide and conquer - if they're FI's family have him call them and call your own family. Get the answer verbally and add it to the guest list, because at this point, you're going to get only more upset with each passing day that they don't return them.

When this is over, I suggest you go do something fun and NWR...just to shake off the icks that came from having to do this.

I agree with you by the way - their behavior was very unnecessary.

noisulli22

I know this is going to sound bad BUT I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL THIS WEDDING IS OVER.!!!
Posted by futuremrsbecerra

That is exactly how I feel right now!!!

Kfudge0714

I hear ya! I'm waiting on about 50% of mine but they do have until May 15th. I mean at this point they should know whether they are coming or not. I sent a STD back in January. So figure it out and mail it back!

noisulli22

@ melntaitt

Thank you I'm trying to calm down but I feel its rude because some of my friends took the time out and called me and said I got my invitation and I say wonderful but did you mail back your respond card, then they tell me I will because I don't want you to become bridezilla! Really bridezilla! I so hate that term.

noisulli22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_rsvp-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8d51bb8a-13db-48c5-838d-bd06ee067a54Post:7ddda029-cb66-4847-b19e-853640401591">Re: RSVP-Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I feel your pain, people are ridiculous! There's an RSVP card for a reason, it really isn't difficult to drop it back into the mail, I don't think people realize the time and energy brides put into the invitations & rsvp process, and we really don't have the time to be calling mass amounts of people weeks before our weddings.
Posted by melfacto[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly!!! Even if this wasn't a wedding whenever I'm invited to something I always try to respond back.</div>

noisulli22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_rsvp-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8d51bb8a-13db-48c5-838d-bd06ee067a54Post:9980aa75-e31c-42c9-85d1-79a2358c5c98">Re: RSVP-Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I hear ya! I'm waiting on about 50% of mine but they do have until May 15th. I mean at this point they should know whether they are coming or not. I sent a STD back in January. So figure it out and mail it back!
Posted by Kfudge0714[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly, I didn't do STD but most of my guests knew we were getting married because we changed the wedding date. I'm not calling any of my people because the very ppl that didn't respond back where the very ppl that had celebratory drinks with me when I got engaged. FI will have to call his side because about 20 out of 75 ppl responded.</div>

michellep1

I'm just starting to get my RSVPs back but I had a BRIDESMAID write on her RSVP card her name plus guest, then only check off her entree choices when the card specifically said "please initial entree choice for each guest".  Her bf situation isn't clear so I wasn't totally sure who she was bringing, and since she's a BM she'll be at the head table so I really do need to know who it is for his place card.  And I need to know who is eating what so that the entree count per table is correct!  I texted her and it was resolved fine but it was just strange....

Lambbop

I know exactly how you feel! I'm a June 2nd bride too and my deadline was May 1st. I had at least 50 unreturned RSVPs.
 
So I started calling around and found out just last night that 6 different families all knew eachother weren't coming but no one thought to tell the bride and groom!!! It was like 30 people knocked out in ONE phone call! Ridiculous!

I have one of my cousins who has 6 kids.. so basically her and her family is a full table of 8. That is the one that bothers me most. They live IN TOWN and haven't responded to the RSVP, facebook message, or phone call. I would really like to know if I need that whole extra table for them.

ryaneann

I feel the same way as you!  We sent out 65 invites and we have received about 25 back.  I still have 2 weeks until my rsvp date but I talked to several people and they tell me, "Yes, we are coming" and they still haven't sent their rsvps back.  I am just waiting patiently and am praying that I don't have to make a ton of phone calls later!

precamies

grr... this bothers me too. my RSVP's are online, I decided to do it that way so that the porcess would be quicker. And those who have RSVP'd liked it that way. I realize it is not everyone's preference, but I figured that it is an easy way to get people NOT to add anyone extra on their RSVP cards. because we really, really can't have more people come.
So yesterday I get a call from a relative asking me why our church Pastor's whife and daughter are not on my shower guest list. So I say - well, the pastor told us, he can't do our wedding because they will be on vacation. So they were not invited to the wedding to begin with. But then I was told that only Pastor will be on vacation, not the family. So we were sort of guilt-tripped into inviting another two people, even though I really don't know them at all, they're like a distant family to my FI. And many people from the distant family were not invited. Also, it sounds awfully fishy that he's going on vacation alone. who does that?? it sounds to me like he just didn't want to marry us, because it took him 3 weeks to get back to us with a clear answer. and now this..

kathleenkmm

I am so feeling all of your pain. Our RSVP date was 4/26 because I was worried my FI's family wouldn't respond. We had over 120 people who did not mail their cards back. He has been calling like a champ for me today and now we're down to 97 but STILL. 

I hope all of you come home to full mailboxes tonight.

caitlintaylor07

I feel your pain! I keep telling my mom wedding planning is for the birds.

jfellows82

I totally understand. I'm also June 2, our response deadline was April 30, and we're still at less than 40% as of yesterday.  We're going to have to start calling people this weekend.  

I'm not sure when people got so runde...

noisulli22

I see I'm not the only one with rsvp issues. I just do not understand. All I want to do is feed my guests but they won't tell me if they are coming. What I know now destination wedding would have been for me. I mailed 4 invites to one house because 2 of my cousins are married and the other one isn't so I get the rsvp cards back from my aunt and uncle and the one cousin but her 2 sisters that lives in the same house hasn't responded. Why can't you just give one person the respond cards and mail it all at one time.

Sscholfield

I TOTALLY undestand!  What bugs me is that I had women tell me 2 weeks ago at my shower how excited they are to come to the wedding, but I still haven't gotten their RSVPs back! I got 3 in the mail today though, so that made me happy

ryaneann

So I ran into a lady at the grocery store that we invited to the wedding and I asked her if she received her invitation and said yes but that they couldn't come and that she would get the card back to me.  I said, "yes, I've been waiting for them to come in" and she says, "Well no one will rsvp they never do"  WHAT?!  Who says that?!

mashavoo

same problem here!!!!!!!i've been trying to run down people for the past 3 weeks now..and its very annoying..i hat this so much..can't wait til the fat lady sings...caue im done with wedding planning!!!!

i sent our the deadline for rsponding so long ago and still problems..peolple just fully disregard..we'll good luck cause i think we're all going through it in some way or another

Melissa603

We are still waiting on about half of the RSVPs. We did the intial guests entrees and about half of the guests that have RSVPed have not done it so it it gets a bit frustrating.

We've had a few RSVPs come in every day which has been nice so we get some mail that is not junk every day!

mashavoo

I'm still running people down man....geeeeezzzzzzz!!!!!!!!

spiderknees

IHi I totally agree with you .    esp the future in law family   c mon I spent a fortune on stamps  all they have to do is write their name on the card ......geesh .. Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_rsvp-vent-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:8d51bb8a-13db-48c5-838d-bd06ee067a54Post:ac6dac78-ab76-4afb-ab74-873fc8af62af">RSVP-Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sick of family and friends not mailing in their respond cards I just want to scream. The RSVP date was May 2nd and my wedding is June 2nd, I have to give my venue a final head count in 2 weeks. And only we only gotten back 30% of our respond cards. I don't mind if ppl don't come but dang send the crap in saying decline. Then what cooked my goose, a couple friends that just got married that vented to me about ppl not responding waited til I called them to mail in their responses. I had one friend in particular that told me she and her husband are still coming but they have been busy so I told her I'm sorry I've been busy too but I paid for those stamps so mail me back my property!! I told her telling me you are coming defeats the purpose of RSVP cards. Then 2 uncles complained to my aunt that they wasn't invited so I tooked the time out to mail them invitations last week so I get their responses back and they declined, I was like that's why I didn't mail you an invitation because I knew you wasn't coming. Oh what really churned my butter my cousin texted me and said my husband misplaced the invitation can we have another one, WHAT??? I told her the respond cards are not coming back to me they are going to my wedding planner so I will take time out my schedule cause you know I ain't doing sh** with my time and the bride will find an extra respond card and mail in your crap. Then my mom, FI and friends are like don't worry! Ok I won't worry thats easier said than done.  I just don't understand, I put a stamp on the envelope for you, if you live in house you walk to your mailbox and place it in the mailbox and raise the red flag quit holding the card. Then FI is giving people excuses, I told him my aunt is 80 yrs old and she mailed hers back in and had enough sense to decline my uncle(he doesn't attend family gatherings) and my other aunt(not even blood related) who is 82 with terrible arthritis mailed hers back so no one has any excuses!! Those women are the 2 oldest ppl coming. So I'm going to have someone stand at the door with a list of names and if your name ain't on the list you ain't getting in. I don't have extra money to waste, I have a life to live after the wedding, I have a mortgage to pay on June 1st and the wedding is June 2nd. So if I tell my venue that 75 ppl are coming and 80 show up then those 5 ppl won't get in. I don't want to be hit with a bill at the end of the wedding. TIA for listening. 
Posted by noisulli22[/QUOTE]