Proposals

7 months later and no proposal

Last V-Day after a HUGE fight my boyfriend yells at me that he was going to propose that night. (I was on new birth control so I was a little crazy that night). Anyway, I was totally excited but told him later that he should wait until the fight passes and I am not expecting it. Well, Ive been expecting it for the last 7 months since then and he still has not asked. After going to his brothers wedding together I am finally at a bitter point and just angry about the whole thing. I feel like its ruined now because Ive had too much time to dwell on it. I wish I never knew about it.  How do I get past this bump I dont want to feel like this anymore.

Re: 7 months later and no proposal

  • edited December 2011
    The best advice I received before we got engaged is... "be patient and let him do it when he's ready, that way he'll be more excited about it and more willing to help with planning, etc." Trust me, I know it's hard to wait but just enjoy your life as it is right now.  Once your engaged, time will fly by and you'll look back and wonder why you ever got so angry about it in the first place!!
  • jagore08jagore08
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
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    edited December 2011
    I was where you are. DH and I were together for almost 10 years when we had gone to a friends wedding and it all made me so sad and angry at the whole situation. Little did I know that he had just purchased a ring a couple of days before. He had tried to propose a few times after the wedding but either I ruined it or the place didn't feel right. He finally proposed on our 10 year anniversary. (oh, I should mention that we were together since high school weren't quite ready to get married right after college. I say this because normally 10 years is a long time to wait.)
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  • edited December 2011
    Best advice I can give is to try not to dwell on it. It really is so hard and frustrating though. Especially when everyone else is getting married but you. When he finally proposes it will all be worth it in the end. We were together for 4 years and I think I just expected him to do it on our 4 year anniversary and it kind of ruined the night because I was all upset. Then a month later it happened! Just hang in there! :)
  • linwallinwal
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    Hey there! I know how you feel. I dated my fiance for over 6 years and well, even though I tried to be patient, you could definitely say that I failed at points. He just proposed a little over 3 weeks ago. My piece of advice is not to pressure him. I feel horrible for being impatient about it because, even when I tried not to show it, I could tell that it hurt his feelings and brought stress into a situation that should be all joy. Hang in there...it will happen!!!!
  • linwallinwal
    First Comment
    member
    edited December 2011
    And another thing...you can tell by these posts that you are not alone. Keep that in mind and it will help you to be patient.
  • edited December 2011
    I feel your pain, anger, frustration, exasperation... etc4 and a half years and still no proposal, a Wedding savings fund and no proposal, countless romantic holidays and no proposal.... I'm starting to get a bit p***** with the whole waiting game too.I'm just really angry that when we talked about it, he thought it was OK because I was still young (27), he's 32.I love him, we are committed to each other but I'm starting to think that if I have to listen to his BS excuses for much longer I am going to have to leave because it is causing me so much upset.
  • JBDamonMJBDamonM
    100 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    Ok - I feel like I was the queen of these situations.... We'd been together for 3.5 years  - living together for 2 of them.... It was ridiculous.... And I would continuously let it get the best of me and bring it up.Finally - when I reached my breaking point, I sat down and wrote everything out. I felt so much  of the way you did. I got bitter about going to weddings. I felt humiliated. and DH was ALWAYS doing the same thing - giving me little hints that it was coming, and there was a ring- etc.ANywho - I wrote the letter, I did not give him any kind of ultilmatum, but I explained how I was embarrassed and what not and that I didn't know how much longer I could go. When I was done, I ended the letter by telling him - I was going to keep it - and re-read it each time I got frustrated to remind myself that he knew where I was at, so Iw ould stop harping on it.This was in January. I kept my promise, and when I booekd a long weekend away for us in April, I was CONVINCED it wasn't happening. I was so used to being prepared and havnig nothing happen, that I managed to book this trip and seriously not think about it. I even boo-hooed to my friends a few days before about how dissapointed I"d be...... Sure enough - ALL ON HIS OWN, he popped the question the first night down there......I cried for days! and despite the long relationshiop - I was floored.....My advice - get ito ut on the table, and move past it.... I LOVE  how when it finally happened - I hadn't been nagging.B/c he did it on his terms and not mine - he was SO into the wedding planning and SO excited to get married!And like a pp said -  you aren't alone, this happens to a lot of people - just read the board!good luck!
    "I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough, I'm giving you all my love, I"m still looking up."

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  • tommyandytommyandy
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    maybe he will propose on v-day next year. he might have the "perfect" v-day plan in his head & is waiting for that specific day.
    [Deleted User]
  • Hey there, even though this post is a few years old it is relevant to my situation. 

    I had expected something for our two year anniversary (March) and was beginning to give up hope by June.  Any time we went away I would get my hopes up that something would happen and when it did not I always got upset.  In September I proposed to him and he said yes but was super uncomfortable about it so we kept quiet.  Due to confusion on his side he did not realize how serious I was and we ended up deciding we were no longer engaged but still wanted to be together.  I was heart broken.  I finally told him in early December that I was done waiting and if I was not the one then he needed to decide on what to do next.  He officially proposed just before NYE but I don't know what would have happened if we had not been totally honest with each other. 

    The moral of the story is to put on big girl pants, have an honest and serious conversation about where you stand and trust your SO to do what is right, whether good or bad.
  • Generally people on here don't like it when others revive zombie threads.
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