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Need some input

the catthe cat
First Comment
in African American Weddings
So yesterday, P forwards me a text from someone telling him they're getting married on the 19th or 20th at the Courthouse in NOLA. It was from an OOT phone number, so i didn't respond till I got home. Come to find out, it's from his daughter. Yeah...the one who didn't come to our wedding, the one who told her dad she doesn't agree with our marriage, the one who said we moved too fast, the one who was ugly to me AND my son...yeah. That one. P didn't take the text as an ivite, just like an FYI. He asked if I would go. I said no. He gave that eyebrow raise u would only notice if you know him. WWYD?
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Re: Need some input

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    ak1226ak1226 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    You are going to have mail.
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    alfdallas21alfdallas21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I truly understand that she did you & your son & Perry wrong BUT you are now Perry's wife and as his wife, you should support him and go to this heffa's wedding IF Perry wants to go...that's not to say you forgive her for what she did and said to you but it's to show Perry support...if she's getting married at the courthouse, it will be a quick ceremony and maybe a quick bite to eat at a local restaurant and just K.I.M...JMHO!...GL and let me know what you decide to do...
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    Ladysun083Ladysun083
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Isnt she like 25, 26 or something? You know whats that about, she is probably looking for a CHECK..well you know what im going to say..mmm hmmm
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    MRS.TJBMRS.TJB
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Not go.  To be honest she probably doesn't want you there anyway.  Hell..she may not even want him there.  Sending a text to your Dad to tell him of your wedding!  She hasn't started to build her bridge so why should you be willing to compromise.  I would tell P just that...the fact that she more than likely doesn't want you there should be reason enough for you to stay home...you don't want to ruin anyone's day??!??!?
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    alexisrouse00alexisrouse00 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Alf, although you don't like the heffa you should go to support DH.
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    Dashawn CouncilDashawn Council
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    did she send the text to you or P.   i probably would go yall are 1 now and go say congrats and leave she is just a child to you and kids are ugly alot of the times.  but dont hug her or even smile LOL
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    dst10spr97dst10spr97
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Apparantly it aint that serious, since she texting folks. But after the picture you painted of her, I don't think I could go, and my husband would just have to understand. Now if he wants to go fine. But I couldn't, especially since she did not necessarily come out and say she wanted yall there, more like "just letting yall know I'm getting married".
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    the catthe cat
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes ladies...i know where each of u are coming from. I feel like this: IF we get formally invited (not just that janky FYI text) I may: a) not go. Tell P i'm not going b/c we both know how she feels about me. b) go "but don't smile"! (cute one) c) go and show her just how in love her father and I are. Show her exactly what she don't wanna see. d) go, but just to see the poor soul (brutha!) she's marrying. Yeah...she's like her daddy. Jungle fever!
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    FutureMrsHabibtyFutureMrsHabibty member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would go to support Perry if he wanted to go. If she is reaching out to you, offering an olive branch, I would take it for peace sake.
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    aquarius125aquarius125 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would "turn the other cheek" and GO! At the end of the day we all make mistakes and maybe she didn't agree with her father getting married and was selfish in her actions but she has the right to approve or not approve! She should have looked past herself and supported the happiness of her father but it takes ALOT of woman to do that and as we know not everyone can. With all that said I say GO and support your husband b/c  if you know you would want the same support if the shoe was on the other foot. That is still is daughter just like you have a son. You love the relationship that P and your son have...right> Just maybe he wants to see the same thing with his daughter and you...estranged or not...she is a part of him! GL!
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    the catthe cat
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    @ aquarius - girl you slapping me all over the face with that one! The main problem I have with that chic is she's grown. She's 25 years old. Her mom left when she was 2 and P raised her. That one thing should've earned his respect. She and her son moved in with P after we we were together. She was always complaining to him about privacy (wanting guys to stay over) We were cool till P moved in with me. When he stopped paying the bills at his place she started getting ugly. She expected him to keep taking care of her and her baby; he didn't, and their relationship went downhill. She had a good job but wanted to do other things with her $$. Their relationship became very strained and I told P to go back with his daughter; which he did. But not for long. The girl just has nasty ways and he dealt with her. We're married nah!
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    rhodesignrhodesign
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Suck it up and put your big girl panties on if she does invite you two. But he bednot give her some money! =)Curious--why doesn't she approve of your marriage? And since when do kids get a say in such matters? My dad married a right cow and I couldn't say word one about it.
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    the catthe cat
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Rho - She doesn't have a say...she found that out on March 28, 2009! I think she felt like she had the upper hand b/c she's his only child and they had a close relationship. On top of that, she moved back in with her baby. He was about a year then. Perry can eat that kid on plain bread with no butter or gravy. When she came, P and I had only been dating a month or 2, but we were serious. She didn't know that. She thought she'd come down to daddy and get a free ride. All that stopped when P moved in with me. Of course, she saw me as the bad guy and there it went. I'm tired of these big girl panties. I want a little thong! ;)
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    KEYSHAANDDOMINICKKEYSHAANDDOMINICK member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cat, I agree w/some of the other ladies and after hearing your last post, Baby Girl is jealous. He raised her so she was probably even more of a daddy's girl, which in NO way justifies her actions. Since DH took the text as fyi follow his lead and act accordingly, after all you did get your prize! Go if he wants and support your man he may need it.
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    rhodesignrhodesign
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    OIC. She's daddy's princess, but now daddy found a queen! Well, whatever to that. She'll get over it if she hasn't already.Yes, big girl panties are annoying, uncomfortable, ugly and ride up in all the wrong ways, but they are necessary at times. =)
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    candydipcandydip member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I just want to know which fly outfit you are going to wear with your big girl panties on???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    the catthe cat
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Candy - have i told you lately that i love you? Girl you are a total and complete mess. You know if i go, i WILL be the flyest thing in the Courthouse. Hell...i might even wear my wedding dress so my big girl panties don't show! On the real, I just bought the cutest deep purple sundress. That may be my weapon of choice.
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    blue19violetblue19violet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Alf, very well said.
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    brobin01brobin01
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Cat- give me that deep purple dresss! that is my fae color.. okay anyway.. WTF? A text! Ok, so no disrespect but she is ignorant, I still say if she sends you a invite, go with your hubby and support him...too bad she is ignorant!!
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    josey2181josey2181
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with Alf and LadySun.  I can see why you would be torn.  You can be the bigger person and attend to show that there is no bad feelings.  Her attending your wedding didn't make or break you alls day did?  Maybe you all should talk before the date.
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    adgenyaadgenya member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    c) go and show her just how in love her father and I are. Show her exactly what she don't wanna see. d) go, but just to see the poor soul (brutha!) she's marrying. Yeah...she's like her daddy. Jungle fever! Can you do a combination?
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    temeikatemeika
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If your husband wants you to go then, do it for him and support him. and let her see you are happy with her daddy in your purple dress! 
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey Cat, I agree with aquarius125 100%!! I think u should go and I would also smile as well. Be cordial but not phoney u r there for your husband not her because that is what a good wife would do. Show her that "you" r a woman and can look through her bs because that is all that is!! Go and look  and b fabulous.....I would!!!
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    aquarius125aquarius125 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree that she needs to grow-up however she is only 25 years old and yes some of mature faster than avg but be real about she is making her way through this eff up world just like the rest of us. She was threaten by yall relationship b/c he has had her dad all her life and you coming in and "taking"that away made scared her. Go and be there that's all she wants b/c if she didn't she would not have told her dad ish she would have just handled he bizness. We all have made mistakes and hopefully we learn from them. I can relate to her b/c my dad remarried a few years ago and he married a woman who was 12 years younger than him with yound children ( his kids are all grown and on our own) and I am very protective over my 'rents so I was looking crazy at first. BUT I accepted that he was not going thru a MID LIFE CRISIS and this was something he wanted to do and I supported his decision but end the back of my mind do I think it was the best decision for him? NO but whateva makes him happy and that's how I feel about. GL and put on you purple dress and stand by your man with your son b/c that;s your fam now!!!
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    BlkswnnBlkswnn
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Hey Cat, I agree with pp that you should go to support your husband.  It will also be a golden opportunity for her to see the love that you and P share.  Pray about first though so you don't hit that heffa. lol
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