Would you be upset????

clross01

Hello Ladies,I asked my cousin to play the piano at the ceremony for me.. He said yes... This past week I texted him to confirm the date because his has a very busy schedule. He texted me back today to say "He would be honored to play if I can fly him down." Please keep in mind he didn't say anything about flying him down when I first asked him. I wished he would have then I could have probably factored the cost  in my budget. Right now, FI and I  are really tightened our pocketbooks to make sure we are not broke after the wedding. Don't get me wrong I know it cost to have someone play the piano.. Am I wrong to think a family member would charge me the family deal? My thought is what was he  angoing to do if he was only coming as a guest? Not come??? Give me your thoughts lady..Thanks.

MrClintonsFirstLady09

Sometimes we think that our family members are suppose to do things for free for us because they are family. that is wrong to assume, but we do it anyway. So I would not say you are wrong for your assumption. But maybe giving him something monetary should have been considered. especially if he does this professionally and also given the fact he is coming from out of town.  Do you think that maybe he can pay his own way down there but you pay him something for his services? Maybe discuss that option with him and see what happens. All he can say is no.

mycicybride

I would be shocked too but...would honor his request and wait to find a flight deal to get him there as cheap as possible.  Just MO.  Also, if he wants to be treated and paid as a professional, I would let him know I expect professionalism (on time, plays for the durations you asked, plays the songs you requested, etc.) since you are now paying.

RCLARO

put him on a bus....

Lovie 129

If this is his profession, or even if it's not but he gets asked to play at weddings and other events and gets paid a fee, I would buy his ticket. Compare what he does with the minister, florists or any other vendor, they get paid for their services, why shouldn't he?Family members very often look for "hook ups" without realizing the time that goes into a service, action, etc. If you were a Dr and saw relatives, they would have to pay correct?....it's the same premise. Just because his job may not be as important as a Dr, does not mean it's not important to him or enough to be compensated.

Crook251

I would be shocked too. Because like you said he could have mentioned that up front. My thing is, you could probaly save more by finding someone local (unless you just had to have your cousin play for you). Maybe if you explain to him the situation and give him your offer or "monetary" contribtion, he may still do it.My brother is a semi-proffessional musician, and I wish he would say something about flying him here or paying him to play at my wedding.

aquarius125

I agree with Lovie but I semi-understand your shock. I would talk to him and explain the situation and see if he would agree to paying half or some type of arrangement and go from there. From a planners perspective I will advice this when dealing with vendors ALWAYS have a contract  or some type of written agreement FAMILY or NOT!  HTH

missevans

I understand your concern and if he is family and was coming anyway, I don't see why he wouldn't do it.  Personally, I wouldn't charge my family member to do that but I guess everyone doesn't think that way.  What about telling him that he can do this instead of a gift? We have a girl playing the piano as her gift to us. The issue there is the "appropriateness" of mentioning gifts though. Here is the question I had to ask myself : Do I HAVE to have it?  I pouted once a day because of budget because I couldn't get everything I wanted but after really evaluating if it would mess up day if I didn't have it, I found that I could scratch some things.  Is this one of those things that you must have or is it something that you can use a cost effective alternative for?

clross01

@MrClintonsfirstlady09, I have thought about giving him something for his services just not a plane ticket. I will discuss this option with him.@mycicybride, definitely if I buy the plane ticket he will definitely be put on a vendor I will expect hime to come with the sheet music and/or  the chords for each song I have requested.@RClaro, You funny!! The only concern for the bus is how far out would one need to start the trip? You know the bus stop at every gas stop, pit stop across America... LOL!!!@Lovie129, This is his profession.. My thing is I wish he would have said this months ago when I asked him the first time. that way I could have been looking for deals and saving money at the sametime.. I am going to discuss this more with FI when he gets back in town. My original plan was to have my cousin play the piano and the chuch musician to play the organ. If my cousin and I can't work out something I will ask the church  musician to play the piano instead.  I really hope we can...Thanks ladies...