African American Weddings
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How can I say it...VENT

with out sounding like a bitchy birdezilla ??

Out of 4 BMs I now only want to keep 2 of my BMs my MOH (little sis) and BM (my cousin). BM #2 and #3 can go. My little sister and cousin has been supportive and periodically these last couple weeks, they have called and asked me what it is I needed. Is there any DIY projects I need help with and so on. MOH already has her dress BM#1 is going Monday to get hers. Said she has the money and all. Ok cool.

My reasons for wanting them to be out is because of  (although the only responsibilities BMs have is to get there dress and show up) I just dont got time for the B.S. I texted BM#3 and asked when she think she could go and get her dress ? She txts me back and say "what type of spaghetti sauce is better than the other ragu or prego ? lol " .Im like huh ? She like answer my question. I say well answer mine 1st. no reply...Im like see she on some B.S...so im cool..im thinking to myself...if you dont want to do it then just say that..know what I mean ?

BM#2 plain and simple she still has drama with GM#2 and some issues going on with her daughter. I completely understand her issue with her daughter and she needs to focus on her but the issues with GM#2..I feel like its time to wipe the tears, pick yourself up and face the reality of their situation and keep it moving. Dont get me wrong, I definitely know what it is to have your feelings hurt..but like they say the TRUTH HURTs. 

And im just like Ive been thru it all with these girls, from engagements, loaning out money, letting them borrow my car to roll up on a nicca to see if he at a girl house, babysitting, dudes cheating on them, they cheating on the dudes. and so much more. All im asking is for 1 hour out they day to go pick out a dress, pay dep and be done with it. But no..that seems to be asking too much. 

I gave them free range to pick whatever they want and then even said Ok, I picked out a dress for you (according to what I think what look right for their body type) just go try on, take a pic and send it to me and they still wont budge. I feel like if I was to be calling them saying..girl me and FI over here fighting, he cheating, he beating my ass or something else negative about our relationship then they would be all on it. Honestly, because I know they dont care about my wedding like I care I dont even talk about wedding details to them. Only about them getting their dress. I dont ask for their OP's about nothing, my knottie sisters is pretty much the only ones I ask. (im so grateful for yall) Im just not bout to be on the B. S.

So I just want to tell them they out and can just come as guests !

Sorry for the vent.


Re: How can I say it...VENT

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    Tash... u dumb..lol... But.. seriously....I truly understand.. not to the extent of all U've gone through...BUT... I KNOW THE FEELING of just wanting them to b honest and say.."girl I just wanna b a guest".. I would respect and appreciate that more.. Ur just go a have to go sit in a corner and woosaaahh.... I can't tell u what to do when I have one in the bunch like that..
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    @ Tash..LOL shut up.

    @ Mari..Yes , that what Im saying my feelings maybe a little hurt but Ill be ok. Just say it. On top of that Im not the one who asked yall, yall was the 1st ones screaming, I know Im in the wedding, Im a BM before I could even ask. smh..buts its cool ! 
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    YESSSSSS!!!!! EXACTLY!!! ME TOO.. same thing happened
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    Aww.. I'm sorry you are going through this.. It sucks. i totally feel what you are saying though.. Same here, some of my bms call and just go on and on about men, etc.. i don't  have time for that hun, you need to get it together.. and grow up a little.. that's what i want to say..

    If it was me, i would set a day a go to the bridal store, like this week or next because you are in crunch time.. and whoever show they show, they pick  their dress, and place deposit.. the ones who don't and do not communicate, then you can have a little chat with them and see where that lead you.. good luck..
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    I talked to my 2 problem childs. I gave them I completely understand your life situation..blah blah but I feel like im being a burden by asking yall to set aside time and be involved. So because I dont want to feel that way and dont want yall to feel like your obligated im going to ask that you not be BMs but be guest instead and still enjoy in being apart of the festives bridal shower, bachparty, and wedding day as a guest. They said ok. No im sorry..no do I still have time to gey my dress..no nothing..just ok. Smh.. Im thinking like if i was me on the other end I would of been calling them like girl..im here for whatever..ill get my dress. Ya know ?! But that justtl told me they didnt really want to do it anyway even tho THEY was screaming im in the wedding..blah blah blah..so im cool with that ! My show will continue with or without them ! So no trying to make up appts. I feel better !
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_how-can-i-say-itvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:321f70bc-c4d0-40a2-af14-6529edfd8580Post:e9795ca2-98ce-4959-b44c-d7e5b66a307c">Re:How can I say it...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]I talked to my 2 problem childs. I gave them I completely understand your life situation..blah blah but I feel like im being a burden by asking yall to set aside time and be involved. <strong>So because I dont want to feel that way and dont want yall to feel like your obligated im going to ask that you not be BMs but be guest instead and still enjoy in being apart of the festives bridal shower, bachparty, and wedding day as a guest. They said ok</strong>. No im sorry..no do I still have time to gey my dress..no nothing..just ok. Smh.. Im thinking like if i was me on the other end I would of been calling them like girl..im here for whatever..ill get my dress. Ya know ?! But that justtl told me they didnt really want to do it anyway even tho THEY was screaming im in the wedding..blah blah blah..so im cool with that ! My show will continue with or without them ! So no trying to make up appts. I feel better !
    Posted by MrsBad13[/QUOTE]

    Seriously???  that's all they had to say??? I'm so sorry, so sorry.. They should have just been up front with you then... Well everything goes on with out them..... I don't understand these BMs and why it's such a hastle to get them to do this and that, etc.. it's crazy... Well atleast you know and you can move forward.. are you thinking of replacing them?
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    Crazy right ? And these are supposed to be my friends one since high school and one for almost 10 yrs. Im going to ask my little cousin. I wanted to ask her anyway. If she say no thats cool ill just have a MOH and 1 BM with 4 GMs.
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    Girl... keep it moving .. I understand what you're saying.. no u don't expect them to b jumping for joy... but at least b there for you.... not make you feel like youre pulling teeth... Seriously....still asking if she has time to get her dress....lmao!!!!
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    And watch they asses come to you on some I really need you right now bs....bitches boy....cant live wit em...cant live with them....
    ****The Future Mrs. Ikeard**** wedding countdown
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_how-can-i-say-itvent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:321f70bc-c4d0-40a2-af14-6529edfd8580Post:ded86ea1-bf53-47b9-bd30-8f85e1145cc8">Re:How can I say it...VENT</a>:
    [QUOTE]And watch they asses come to you on some I really need you right now bs....bitches boy....cant live wit em...cant live with them....
    Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>
    </div><div>LMAO...you is crazy ! I will glady tell them to get they life !</div>
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