African American Weddings

Annoyed

So we're starting to get our RSVPs back and relatives (mine and FI) are inviting relatives that weren't invited! We made a conscious decision not to invite any cousins. We're not particularly close to any of them, so it just makes sense to keep our numbers down. So now we have 6 cousins between us that have told either my parents or his mom that they'll be at the wedding. WTH? Why do people think they can just show up? Ok, now I'm going to go woo-sah and relax with a glass of wine. Thanks for letting me vent.
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Re: Annoyed

  • Yes honey WOOO-SAHHHH dont let that bother you just politely tell mom to tell them sorry the bride and groom are at their max for ppl and to go have a seat somewhere...GEESH the nerve of ppl trying to just automatically show up at something they arent event invited tooo smh...sorry your going thru this honey i hope it gets better for you

    Lilypie - H1jI


    Daisypath - MFL5



  • Guess you gonna need this guy lol!
    145 Invited image
    65 Cannot wait to party! image
    1 Saving me money! image
    80 Looking for the mailbox image
  • In Response to Re: Annoyed:
    Yes honey WOOO-SAHHHH dont let that bother you just politely tell mom to tell them sorry the bride and groom are at their max for ppl and to go have a seat somewhere...GEESH the nerve of ppl trying to just automatically show up at something they arent event invited tooo smh...sorry your going thru this honey i hope it gets better for you
    Posted by misstira
    Thanks girl!
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  • In Response to Re: Annoyed:
    Guess you gonna need this guy lol!
    Posted by TL25
    Lol! Yes I think I might need him!
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  • See..thats what im talking bout. I got a feeling this is what is going to happen to me and my babe. We are not inviting alot of our cousins and the ones that are getting invited im already telling them "aye, dont be telling yo brother/sis they can come " cause if they do they will be turned away til after dinner is served ..sorry..shrug shoulders. Hopefully moms will step in and let them know they cant come !
  • rmasokarmasoka
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    member
    edited February 2013
    Ahhh yes this is a 'trend' for most people. Wanting to invite extra people, not invited. We tried to avert this by including things like 'strictly by invitation' and indicating how many seats have been reserved for the invited guests, so they know not to be adding folk. Smh! I knew if we don't spell things out, people always try to push boundaries, but even now, they still do. I am learning to grow a backbone and just tell them am sorry we cannot accommodate extra guests. Hope it gets better. Virtual hug for you
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  • My fiancés uncle called him with a family member on the phone asking about inviting him. Because another cousin couldn't make it.
  • Thanks ladies. FI and I both spoke with our parents and told them that we're not inviting extra people and just because someone can't come, doesn't mean theres an extra seat for someone else. Hopefully, this will take care of it.

    @rmasoka - I wish we did that too, but hindsight is 50/50.

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  • This is happening to me also.  I had one cousing who Im close to call another cousin and say "just send her a text message and she will put you on the guest list".  Needless to say I had some harsh words with my cousin, becuase we have talked many times about how I'm trying to keep everything small. then i had a 5th cousin ask me for an invite over instagram.  So annoying....
  • Rule of thumb....set your expectations early on in your planning about the guests. Have a informational card/FAQ in the invitation that spells out the proper way to RSVP....Sad but true. This is what I did and had a guest list. We had no problems at the door. 

    However, people did TRY to invite themselves and I didn't let that happen. I politely called those people and let them know I only have x number of seats reserved for them...no exceptions. If they had any questions, they could refer to our wedding website or the informational card in their invite.  I did not budge because extra seats = more money, more place settings, more food, and probably more decorations! 

    If anybody wants this informational, you can view it on my website (below) or send me a PM, I'll send you the template to the informational card. 

    Cha
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
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