RSVP Date: May 5, 2010
eh...I'm still on the fence. I really don't want to go through the hassle of changing my name. I know that there are kits and such, but imochanging my name is not a requirement of marriage nor a testament to how much I love my FI. My FI gets a little upset when I say I'm not sure if I will change my name. I told him to give me a very good reason to change my name (I'm still waiting for it). I might hyphenate my name, but right now I don't know what I will do. I mean isn't it enough that I'm going to spend the rest of my life as his wife? Sheesh! sorry it's long.Posted by Aguaviolet
Nope, I kept my name for both personal and professional reasons when I got married. My kids did ask questions when they were younger and I explained my reasons to them (including the fact that I am an only child and I wanted to hang on to my father's name, my feminist views, etc.). My husband would and still likes for me to change my name, but it has always been a non-negotiable topic with me. From the very beginning in our relationship, I told him that if changing my name to his was a dealbreaker for marriage, then he needed to find someone else. Despite my stance, he still married me and we have been married now for 14 years. What is in a name? You don't have to take on a man's name to show that you love him. But it makes you happy to take on your husband's name, go for it. Do what works for you and what reflects your values. What works for me may not work for anybody else. We are all different, hence the reason why we handle situations differently.
Chocolate-I actually told fi so year, if we were not engaged about time I received my associate's the dropping my lastname was off limit. Once I started on this road of education, changing my name would set up confusion, so to avoid that. I will just hypenate.
My plan is to hypenate but I would love to take my FI's last name. He has mentioned it as well. The thing is I have an Autistic son with my maiden name and it will be a struggle handling his business with a different last name , especially as he gets older. We both agreed that hypenating is the best option.