No-Shows at the Wedding?

admallard

I don't know how everyone else feels about this, but I'm always thinking about what if people RSVP and still don't show up. I have to pay the caterer two weeks before the wedding so I'll be pretty upset if I pay for all these people to eat and they don't show up! I read on one board that a bride had 100 people to RSVP and she had 30 no-shows!!!  Does anyone else worry about this? Married ladies did you have a lot of guests that didn't show up? I know you probably didn't notice the guests that didn't come but from a financial standpoint that would probably really anger me!!!

summerbride11

Girl....this is what pissed me off the most. We had 11 no shows! One lady that didn't show was a co-worker who talked about my wedding for months like it was hers!   Some were ppl that replied with a Guest and then didn't bring a Guest.  My grandma warned me " People get sick, people die." I was like "Grandma, people don't just die!". Sure enough...right after we made the final payment my dad's Dr. friend and his wife said they had to head down South because her sister died.  I told my FI, "I guess people do just die!"  We had to give a seating plan to the venue, so there was no way to predict who wasn't going to show ahead of time.

DH's cousin had 14 No-Shows- that was $1,400 wasted.

In retrospect, I would have told the venue to do 8-10 settings per table and reserved the closest tables for Immediate Family and Friends. Then we could have paid for 10 less people. Saving $1,100!

TNMurray

This is one of my biggest concerns. My mom got married 2 weeks ago and had a guest list of 115 and 23 people didn't show. We had a whole empty table. I was pissed and so was she. I truely feel like sending these people a bill.

shaq123

I was just at a wedding last month at my table their was 6 empty seats and about 30 no show in all . I can not image paying 50 pp and 30 no show that $1500  at the lest. I do not think that people realize that if they RSVP that means that their meal is paid for . If you have doubt of your guest list I would give the caterer less poeple  they can always add sits .but empty sits always look bad. 

sweets18

I am concerned about this too... maybe I should include a clause the invite and since we are doing our RSVPs online, I could have sentence on there that says if the click to rsvp and fail to attend or notify us within two weeks of the event that they can no longer attend we will send them a bill per person...

But on the real... I am worried that this could happen or people who weren't invited will just show up... maybe they will just balance out?

BabyKaykes

It will always happen. At this point, I'm hoping that a good 8-10ppl don't show, and two couples decide not to bring their kids. We're at capacity for our space, and I really want a little more mingling room.

My aunt was just telling me she went to a wedding where they expected 175ppl based on RSVPs. They ended up with about 60ppl there and all the tables in the middle of the room were empty.

Financially it won't really matter to me. We're doing buffet style and are paying for groups of 12-15.  8-10ppl in the long run would only cost us maybe $200.

NeColeMonet

We invited about 130 and there were about 16 people were no shows.  Some of them had legitimate reasons: my DH's aunt and uncle didn't come because she had recently undergone chemo and wasn't up for the drive from L.A to San Diego. (She passed away about a month after the wedding, rest her soul).  My God father and his wife were traveling from Bakersfield and he ended up losing his wallet along one of the gas station stops and that kind of put a damper on his day so he ended up not making it.  THEN there were some people who just upset me: one of my former friends had not initially been invited but when a mutual friend of ours shared our wedding website with her she took it upon herself to "buy a ticket to Cali" from north carolina assuming she was invited. So once she had bought her ticket I felt OBLIGATED to throw her on the list. Do you know this heffah did NOT show up??  There were some people who had broken up after the RSVP date so they weren't there.  I didn't really care about them not being there. In fact the only reason I noticed was because the tent cards were still on the table.  The worst one though was one of my good friends scum bag of a boyfriend. He flew all the way from D.C to Cali with her for the wedding.  Unfortunately they got lost on the way to the venue and he got mad and made her take him all the way back to the hotel they were staying at and she ended up missing the ceremony (which started LATE so she probably would have made it to be there) and she only stayed for a brief period during the reception because she was so upset.  I wanted to knock his head off his neck.

missrekaeagle

We had 100 people RSVP saying they were coming, and only about 60 actually showed up. I noticed and I was pissed. I still haven't spoken to some of them since the wedding, and I hate we wasted so much money on those inconsiderate people.

admallard

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_shows-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:a68753a4-e807-4aba-9550-76db7d3fb037Post:0782dbaa-3b0f-4363-8533-1654d8287480">Re: No-Shows at the Wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]We had 100 people RSVP saying they were coming, and only about 60 actually showed up. I noticed and I was pissed. I still haven't spoken to some of them since the wedding, and I hate we wasted so much money on those inconsiderate people.
Posted by missrekaeagle[/QUOTE]

See this is what I'm afraid of. People don't understand the time and money that goes into putting together a wedding. It's so inconsiderate to RSVP and then not even show up! What a waste of money that could have been used on something else OR on other guests!

7venAfricano

For some reason I'm not as worried about this only because, from the food aspect, we're doing an African/soul food buffet. WIth fufu and jealof rice there'll be no issue because even if some ppl don't show, that just means less cooking for someone else who gets to take home the leftovers lol.

But even with that, I know that I'd be pissed too if I had to pay a caterer etc and have ppl say that they're coming and not show. Hell, I'd be mad if I took my time to decorate, get extra tables and then have those tables be empty- just completely devoid of ppl? Hell no, I'm make personal pop up appearances after the wedding to tell you about yourself.

I've already put it in my mind that at the most, maybe 20 ppl won't show up. That's usually how it goes. If those 20ppl do show up, that's great, if not, at least I wasn't blindsided by that. I know things happen and whatever else but if ppl know (after the RSVP) that they aren't going to attend, a simple phone call will do. It's pretty inconsiderate and down right rude to not call and not show up especially when people know that weddings aren't cheap and they sure as hell ain't free.

wheatney22

I am scared of this as well cause I know some of my friends and FI's friends are flaky like that. BUT if I don't invite them, they'd be pissed at me. So that's a dilemma all on its own.

We're inviting 180 ppl. Expecting about 150 RSVPs and planning for 130 people to actually be there (our original number). PLUS, my folks have a lot of friends in the MA area (where we're getting married) and I told them I will have a better feel for those who have bought their tickets and such prior to the wedding. If my friends start avoiding me or talking about how they'll buy it the month of the wedding, I'll give the spot to my parents to invite their friends. I don't have time to waste money. I'd rather see the happy look on the face of our parents when they get to share the event with their friends than the pissed off look I'll have on my face if folks don't show up.

Have you considered inviting more people (close but not besties) to your wedding? That might help ensure your number is what you're expecting.