**alyssa**

jennyann28

I'm not sure if you were actually asking for advice about your son (he's 5, right?), but here's what I do with my Kindergarteners.  First, I taught them about what it means to be respectful.  This is something we discuss all the time, so they have a good idea about what that word means.  Second, I make sure I give them choices ALL the time.  They can be two choices that are both things I want, but since they get to choose between them, they feel empowered.  That empowerment goes a long way.  Giving them many choices throughout the day also gives me the power to say, "You get to choose things all the time, but talking to me (or whoever) like that is not a choice."  <-- if you don't use this too much, it is really effective!

I also ask them if there is a nicer way to say what they just said.  If they say "Gimme that!" & I ask for a nicer way, they usually come up with "Can I please have that?"  If he can't come up with a nicer way on his own, suggest one for him so he has that tool for next time.

Turn things around on him.  Kids at this age are concerned about themselves, not so much others.  If you put things from his perspective, ("Would you like it if I said that to you?") he is better able to see why it's not ok to be disrespectful.  Make sure you have a lot of kindness in your voice though when you say that to him (even though you probably won't be in the mood for kindness, lol!).

Finally, any time you notice him being respectful on his own, point it out!  Saying "I notice how kindly you were talking to your sister" or "I really like that you remembered to use nice manners" emphasize the positive, so he feels good about doing these things all on his own, and he'll want to do it more!

I know that was really long (I apologize), but I also know how overwhelming 5 year olds can be sometimes, so if you wanted the help, I hope it does help.  If not, just ignore me!  

sarack

adding that to my child knowledge bank. thank you!

jennyann28

Sara, you're funny.

I forgot the best one though!  I will actually tell the kids, "I would love to hear what you have to say, but I can only listen to you if you're going to be respectful.  I'm going to go (insert location here), and when you're ready to be respectful I'll be happy to listen to you."  This also works if they aren't listening to YOU.  Next time they try to talk to you just say, "I'd like to listen to your words, but I can only do that if you can listen to my words.  So when you're ready to listen to me, I'll be ready to listen to you."

Works like a charm.

jennuinne

Me too.  Add this to my Super Nanny file for future reference.  : )

alyssa324

thanks for the advice! His attitude has been killing me and I am sorta at a loss of what to do. Corner time just does not work any more. I will defiantly try all your suggestions I will probably come back to you ask ask other questions now that I know you teach kindergarten LOL My patience is so low with him lately I am having to take ALOT of mommy breaks LOL Actually I can think of another question right now.......:) I have a hard time teaching him anything at home. We completely struggled though abc and numbers but he learned them. At preschool he picks up anything they teach him just not from me. So he is very smart thats not the problem. The problem is he is SUPER hyper active. He will do kart wheels as I ask him to read a word. He just cant sit still. So what do you do with the active ones??? Thanks so much

jennyann28

With any kid, they aren't going to learn stuff if they aren't interested.  Think back to when you were in school.  Classes that you'd rather snooze through, you probably didn't pick up as much.  Classes you thought were super interesting, you probably learned loads, right? 

Little guys are the same way.  Make it interesting, they will want to do it.  What's interesting for one kid, might not be for another.  So you have to capture each one's ever-changing interest.  

With really active kids, I make a game of whatever we're doing.  If you want to work on numbers, ask him to go to some opposite room of the house and bring you 5 (or however many) of something & come back.  Then he has to bring you another amount.  Back & forth until you're done.  If he wants to move, find a way to do it moving.  Kids really like scavenger hunts.  I usually play this "Bring Me" game with phonetics (bring me something that starts with...).

I will say though, if he is learning what he's supposed to (according to his teachers) at school, then I wouldn't worry too much about going out of your way to teach at home.  If they do want you to work with him, pick their brains for ideas too!  Also, what I tell all my parents is this: if you are going to do anything "academic" at home, it should be READ to them.  I bet you already do.  But that is the very very best thing you can do for him.  Have him sit next to you so he can see the book while you read also.  Seeing the words on the page while you say them is really valuable when they're learning language! 

alyssa324

thanks again you are very helpful. I do read to tuff every night but try to do more but really isnt that interested unless it is a reason to stay up just a few minutes longer. But my daughter makes me read her the same 5 books around I dont know 100 times a day. Soi guess she will probably be  reader like me and tan will ba a doesnt like to reader like FI LOL

sarack

love knotties helping eachother! :0)