Catholic/Muslim wedding with difficulties from Muslim side...

lovebug626

I just started at theknot.com, and haven't been able to do much because my boyfriend's mother is expressing doubts and is not supportive of our marriage talk. We've been dating for over 2 years and my family (Catholic) and the rest of his (Muslim) are perfectly fine with it - in fact, his mom and I get along quite well. Her first question was "what will happen to the kids?" Does anyone have any suggestions? We were hoping to talk to someone with a similar background that made it work. I am a practicing Catholic while he is not a practicing Muslim but his mother wants him to be. Our families get along great and I'm not worried about it in the long run, but we need help getting started. We're making appointments to talk to a priest and Imam, but need a lot more help!! Thanks!!

october010bride

Try posting this on the South Asian brides board. I believe there are several interfaith couples that might be able to give you some guidance. Good luck!

kmmssg

I'm not sure of the cultural differences here, but maybe your FI should talk to his mom and gently remind her that he is not practicing the Muslim faith and that the two of you will make the decision regarding your children as you work thru this. 

yobanalr

Hi! I'm also Catholic and my fiance' is Muslim. We've been together for over 5 years. Our families get along great, but his mom is extremely religious and old-fashioned, so she wants our kids to be Muslim. I love my religion and I practice it, he does not, so I of course I did not agree with her. My fiance' and I have come to the conclusion that I will teach my kids Catholicism and he will teach them Islam. We will practice all the traditions of both of our religions and when they grow older they can decide what they want to be. We promised that we would be happy no matter what choice they make. We joke around now saying that we will have Muslic kids! It also helps that we both show our parents that we are a team and it's our choice what we do with our kids. He pretty much told his mom from the beginning that I am Catholic and that she has to respect that because it will never change. I hope this gives you a little insight as to the way we deal with things.

lizzonyc

I am in the same boat as you...I'm Catholic and my fiance is Muslim... We both don't practice, but plan on teaching our children both of our religions and cultures. And when our children are old enough to decide on their own, they will do so. We are being married by an interfaith officiant (which I haven't booked yet...) We've been together 4.5 years...you'll be fine!! Just be 100% honest with one another and keep good communication

conosur

 I am not sure if it is a good idea or fair to leave the religion choice to a kid.  The message most brides suggest sounds like a solution for the short term to deal with the mother in laws. It is important that the kids understand both religion's traditions and practice the most important ones. However, one religion should be the dominant. If the mother is the one practicing then her religion should be the dominant and vice-versa. Usually, the parents are the one's living longer than the in-laws. It should be a couple decision..It does not matter what the in-laws think or said...just be nice and ignore the comments!! 

jasmine2000

Hello,

I can understand your future mother in laws fears but even if you teach the kids Islam more than likely they will become Catholic.  There is Christmas, Easter, and so many other fun holidays that kids are saturated with. I know, both my parents are muslim and no matter what they did, the outside influenced us more than they did unfortunately.  The key to raising your children is make them understand the good in Islam because believe me they will hear in the news, schools, and everywhere that Islam is bad so you have to try to reconcile that for yourself first and especially your husband.

Good Luck