A Mostly Atheist and Deist with Lutheran flavor

musicwedding

My FI is an atheist baptised Anglican, and I am a deist, but I was raised Lutheran and I am really comfortable with the Lutheran (ELCA) church. My FI was raised in the UK and so the "church wedding" is what everyone does! Thing is, over there, the "credentials" aren't nearly as strict (baptisms, attendance at the church, etc.) Also, he's not as comfortable with the readings and such, but likes the traditional vows. We considered an Episcopal church, but it's very expensive if you're not a member, and requires the FULL Book of Common Prayer ceremony with no changes.

So, I guess what I'm getting at here is what the heck do we do for a ceremony? Write one? Have an alternative type idea like a handfasting? We just want the words to be meaningful for us and those attending. ANY ideas would be super helpful!

ki10

What about Unitarian Universalists? It varies a lot by congregation what they require, but they have a Christian flavor without asking for Christian faith. 

Maybe the United Church of Christ? I dunno much about them wedding-wise, but they're one of the very welcoming and affirming churches in the States.

If you find a secular officiant, yeah, you often end up writing a lot of the ceremony based on the structure they're used to. Some of my friends recently did that so that their (gay) wedding could have a Catholic feel to it without having a Mass. I think really custom ceremonies are nice. I'd probably say try UU first.

NOLAbridealmost

I'm in your boat. My FI and I were both raised Catholic but I am an atheist and he is an agnostic/deist.  

We're trying to find the most reputable and kind judge we can to perform the ceremony and hope to basically write it ourselves.  We'll pick two readings that we find inspirational, do a unity candle to mimic the Catholic stuff that our families are used to, and hopefully come up with a couple other cool ideas. 

I will say though, this ceremony decision has come at a price.  Our immediate families are really supportive, but the extended family is flabbergasted that we aren't getting married in a church with a priest.  And they bring it up. All. The. Time.  

Buy earplugs. 

And good luck!