Straight Wedding with a GLBT Twist

NFastner

I'm hoping someone has dealt with this kind of thing before because I could really use the support and advice.  My finace and I are getting married in the next year - I am female and he is male.  But here is the twist - my fiance's mother is actually a transgender male.  Part of the really difficultness of all of this is that a lot of people coming to the wedding don't know about his Mom.  Or some people we will have to tell beforehand but they will have never met his Mom how she is now.  That is difficult in itself.  But there are also certain wedding things that pertain to mothers or mother of the groom - those kinds of things worry me and I know they bother my fiance.  I'm trying to do this in the best manner possible - being all around respectful but also doing things how I want them done.  It is a difficult situation, one that I know very few people have ever had to deal with, so I'm looking for any support or advice anyone might be able to provide me with.THANKS!

2dBride

I think your best bet here is to treat his mom as if he were your FI's second father, not his mother.  In other words, his mom dresses in a tux or suit, not a mother of the groom outfit.  He gets a bout, not a corsage.  You skip the mother-son dance.  However, the mom sits at the head table if other parents do.The overall message you are looking for is that you respect his Mom's current gender, but still want to acknowledge the relationship.  People may have questions, but if you yourselves treat it matter-of-factly then others typically will, too.

hthwmn

Why not just talk with your her (your future husbands Trans Mom) about what would make her most comfortable?  Does your future husband have a biological mom?  How does she feel about her ex-spouse's transition? I encourage talking... If your Future Husband accepts his father's decision to transition, then honor the person that gave him life, however they feel comfortable.  Best of luck