Something I don't quite understand... please fill me in!

Sunny0710

Hey Ladies,
I have a question. Often while lurking I come across numerous posts related to open bar vs. cash bar... I'm sure you've all seen them.
Obviously I agree that an open bar is the way to go if you can afford it, and it is what I will be doing at my wedding.

HOWEVER- and this is what I don't get-
Why do so many regs tell people that if they can't afford an open bar they should have a dry wedding instead of a cash bar?

Maybe it's a Canadian thing, but I have been to lots of weddings with cash bars and I have never been horribly offended/had an awful time/talked about it behind the Bride's back/considered not attending the wedding as some Knotties seem to suggest.

I would find it more awkward if I wanted a drink and there wasn't even the chance to buy one, as alcohol is expected at weddings unless the couple and their families do not drink for religious/cultural reasons.

In any event, I don't see why a dry wedding is a better alternative than a cash bar if you cannot afford an open bar.
Opinions?

ring_pop

First of all, the cash bar vs. open bar thing is very regional. As you've probably realized, some people have never seen an open bar wedding, and some people would never think of a cash bar wedding. So perceptions on the severity of this "sin" vary widely.

It's just a matter of what you think is worse - having to ask your guests to pay, or having no alcohol. It's kind of like, if you had a dinner party and couldn't afford to buy wine, would you rather ask your guests to BYOB, or not provide it at all? What's more awkward for you?

Some people just consider it far more tacky to ask guests to open their wallets at the wedding. Some people don't consider alcohol to be THAT important at weddings. I wouldn't feel awkward at all if the bartender told me there was no alcohol; I'd just shrug and order a juice.

Littlin

I think the biggest thing is to let people know - my cousin's wedding was in Halifax and the bar was only "open" during the cocktail hour and then it went to cash after that.  A lot of people didn't have their wallets (or a lot of money on them).  

Since I have a lot of friends who are still students, I understand the savings that can occur with cash bars, so as long as I knew ahead of time, it would be fine to bring some cash for drinks.  I don't drink a lot myself, so I wouldn't care if it was a dry wedding either that I was attending.

With that said, I'd rather have the open bar because we are the hosts of the reception, and a lot of our families like their wine, so it wasn't even an option for us!

Sunny0710

I agree Ring Pop, it seems to be pretty regional.
 Littlin, I'm in the same situation as you. FI and I don't drink a lot ourselves, but our families definately enjoy their wine! We are having open bar, but if we weren't I know they would definately prefer a cash bar over a dry wedding.

ring_pop

At the end of the day, as long as you're doing whatever would make your guests happiest, you're fine!

kaesha

I agree - I don't think cash bars are the ultimate sin IF you let people know there's a cash bar. I think it's better to host a limited bar (maybe just wine and beer) instead of a full one if you can't afford it. It's a good alternative.

PaigeMcC

I don't think it's a big deal(or major wedding sin) not to have an open bar - I've NEVER been to a wedding with one.  I agree with PPs, it's very regional! It really depends on what you're comfortable with and what works for your guests.  I'm helping my BFF plan her wedding right now and she's doing wine, beer and soft drinks but there is a cash option for anyone that wants something different.  I think it really just depends...

roscohank

I thought the same thing when I read all these posts. I have never been to a wedding with an open bar, so it must be very regional. That being said, the prices are about $2.75 a drink so nothing outrageous. We plan to have a wine at the tables but a cash bar for after dinner or if someone would like to drink something different.

Nukke

I've been to all three--cash bars, open bars and dry weddings.  The "dry wedding" was cool by me because the people throwing it were strictly against alcohol because of religious reasons.  There wasn't even any dancing!  I didn't notice either of these two things until months later when I thought back on the wedding though, and put two and two together. 

All three of these situations were fine by me because--as a guest--I was very well entertained and kept happy at the wedding. 

I completely understand how some people cringe at the thought of their guests opening their wallets for any reason at a wedding.  For me, however, I'd rather give my guests the option to drink and have to pay, than no option at all.  But that's just my opinion.

trishinbanff

I would love to have an open bar at my reception but it's just not in the budget.  We are have a bottle of red and white on each table and spiked punch during cocktail hour the rest is cash bar.  If i had unlimited funds it would be open!  I've been to weddings as a student (and it was cash bar) and had drinks in our hotel room.

breezerb

As someone from a small town in the Ottawa Valley, I have probably been to 50 weddings (I'm at that age where EVERYONE is getting married) and only one of them has been an open bar.  In my area it is just assumed that the reception will have a cash bar and no one has ever had a problem with it.  Drinks are usually cheaper than they would be at a restaurant or bar.  That being said I am a big fan of complementary cocktail hour (which is usually announced on the invite) before dinner and complementary wine (which you can make at a wine brewing place yourself for a reasonable price) with dinner.  This is a way of treating your guests without blowing your budget.