really REALLY need some prayers...

rachelea

I'm going to try and make this as brief as possible. I was let go from my teaching job at the end of last school year due to low enrollment (it was a private school). I spent the entire summer applying to public schools, where I really feel called to teach (over 150 applications in my district). I had 6 interviews, one offered me the job and then renigged, giving it to someone within the system. I was finally hired as a substitute, but have yet to actually begin subbing because they keep sending me more things that need to be done rather than a single email with a list of requirements before allowing me in the schools. I have gotten a complete run around. I am barely scraping by on food and gas right now, my parents have had to pay for my car insurance, I lost my health insurance with my job, am trying to pay medical bills from a hospital stay last year, and thank goodness I live with a friend from church who understands because I'm going into the 3rd month not being able to pay her rent or utilities. I was offered a seasonal job at Macy's but then I couldn't take it due to prior commitments that I morally did not feel right about going back on, and the time didn't work with when Macy's needed me. Also I would not have been able to fly home to my parents for Christmas. To make matter worse, there is a chance my roommate may be moving out of state, virtually leaving me homeless except to go live with FI which neither of us agree is right before we're married. I just burst into tears on the phone with my mom, who is giving me money for my roommate because I haven't been able to pay. I despise having to ask for money, especially right now with them forking my entire wedding bill. I have been working SO HARD and applied to over 200 jobs and am just tanking every time. I am desperately searching for something and am so defeated and frustrated and my ego and spirit feel so battered. I know God has not forsaken me, I know he's there, and I still even feel him despite how crappy things are around me. But I need something to materialize in the here and now, outside of the spiritual realm or I just don't know what is going to happen. Thanks for your prayers in advance ladies.

GJones27

I understand a bit what you're going through.  I lost my job as a consultant and was unemployed for ten months.  Unemployment insurance wasn't enough, and my parents had to support me on top of the wedding.  My best advice is to let go of the guilt of having others support you.  They want to help you, and when they will need help, you will be there for them.

I know it's hard wondering when you will find work.  I applied to so many jobs until I found one.  The way I found meaning in the situation was learning how to empathize with the unemployed.  I learned what it truly means to lose your job and livelihood, and it will make you a better person.  Have you seen Up in the Air?  Just think... if George Clooney and that young college girl knew what it was like to be unemployed, they could have provided better comfort to others they laid off.

A teaching job will eventually come around.  In the meantime, please hang in there and take good care of your health.  I think I may have posted this before, but I developed gastritis as a result of getting laid off.  I've lost so much weight, and one year later, I still can't eat.  I live on bland foods.  You need to focus on taking care of yourself as much as possible, and I know it's hard.  I'll pray that God will provide a door for you soon. 

iamjoesgurl

Wow.  It sounds like you are going through a really rough time.  I will pray for you.  Is there someone at the school district that you could meet with to go over everything so that you'll know you've submitted it all?  I hope that you are able to get work soon.  And I will pray!

jenn.daniel

Have you tried applying at other private schools?  Even if it's not exactly what you want, it's a job.  You can also tutor to make extra money.

I'm glad your parents are willing to help you out.  I know it's hard accepting money from them though.  Is there anyone else from Church you could live with if your current roommate moves?  Maybe a family so you can do things like babysit in lieu of paying rent.

rachelea

Right after I wrote this last night I went over to FI's because FFIL wanted to take us out for dinner. As soon as I got to his house I took him in his room and shut the door so we could talk, because I didn't want FFIL to overhear. I explained everything above. He knows I've been stressed with the job and money, but there were things I hadn't told him, specifically about my roommate possibly leaving because I'm not even supposed to know that (she may move when her dad moves and it people find out before stuff at work he could be faced with a HUGE fine, we're talking $20k...) but I knew I had to tell him and he won't say anything. I told him how can't sleep at night because my brain keeps going and the only way I can get to sleep is praying for God's peace to come over me. I have always had trouble sticking to a regular Bible reading, and I've been realy good about it the past 2 weeks and told him that it seems like everything has gotten worse since then...of course I know its because I'm ticking off the enemy.

...anyway, FI just hugged me and told me everything is going to be okay. He said that we've got 6 months to go and if I can just get through til we get married it will be okay. So I told him that was just stressing me out as well because I don't want to become a financial burden to him. He assured me that wasn't going to happen. He said he's done fine financially right now and that even if I'm just working part time or just subbing at first that financially we won't be rolling in it but we'll certainly have enough to be comfortable, tight but fine.

FI of course wasn't able to change any of the present situation, but just being able to let him know how I was feeling and he being able to assure me that he's here for me and that it is going to be ok made me feel so much better. There was also a new posting for a P.E. teacher at a K-8 school that I sent my application in to and will be going in on Monday and demanding they speak to me. So we'll see. I just have to keep trying. Having FI know how I feel on everything really REALLY helped...and I was finally able to sleep well last night.

AshNoel8

Glad your talk with your fiance went well! It does help to feel the comfort of those we love. I will pray for you. I am a teacher too and I know how hard it can be to find work sometimes. Keep trying and praying. God has something great around the corner for you! 

LMS05

I just stumbled upon this (and I don't think it was a coincidence), but I want you to know that I am praying for you. God is in control and you are in His hands. Give it all to Him and trust Him. I know it can be hard, but He loves you so much and His plan for your life is better than you can imagine. God bless you dear sister in Christ.

1 Peter 5:7

KaitlinRich

I know this is hard but anytime I am going through similar trials my mom tells me that maybe God is trying to teach me to trust (which I think is one of the hardest and longest lessons...) My FI was also out of a job and spent countless months looking for a job. He got passed over for countless jobs that we thought would be wonderful for him. By God's grace he is now an assistant manager with no prior experience in that area and has a wonderful Christian employer.

I am praying that you will not stress till He provides.