Christian Weddings

Praying with FI/H?

I'm really curious about this! Do you pray with your FI/H? Or do you pray alone? And if you do pray with your FI/H, do you do it silently, or outloud?

FI and I don't pray together outside of church and such. I pray by myself, but it's more like a conversation in my head than something I would say outloud. I really don't like praying outloud, but I don't mind if FI does it.

So I'm just wondering what you all do. It's something that's been on my mind for awhile, and I like to hear how people worship.

Re: Praying with FI/H?

  • StephB1185StephB1185 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    FI just recently brought the topic up about praying together...
    We read our "daily bread" together, but really only pray before our meals together.  I've never been a fan of praying outloud, myself, because I too think of it more as a conversation.  Maybe it sounds silly, but it makes me nervous a little. 
    "Diversity is the key to life, without it we would be a mindless drone of a single colored spectrum."
  • DanielleB80DanielleB80 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We normally don't pray together execpt before eating. He used to just say a silent prayer over his food before eating, but after teasing him so much calling him a stingy food-blesser (just wrong of me right lol) we take turns and pray over our meals out loud together.

    After we get married and move in together I hope we can have some type of prayer together besides eating. But even if we decide to keep morning, night, mid-day, etc. prayers personal it's ok since that way has been working for us all of these years.


    Wedding Countdown Ticker imageGraphics
  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    As of right now, we only pray together during prayer time at church and at meals, because that's really the only times were together without another household leader.  (i.e.- when we're with his sister and BIL, his BIL prays for the meal).  He does pray outloud.  Sometimes, at the church we attend while at school, they'll have a congregational prayer time where they ask the church to pray outloud...this may seem really silly to someone, but I was raised in a very tiny, very conservative Baptist church where you MIGHT hear an "Amen!" during revival...so the whole praying outloud in a group thing just isn't comfortable for me.  Anyways, we've been talking about our quiet times and what we've been learning since we started dating, and starting 150 days before our wedding, we're going to read one Psalm a day.  There is a very good chance that we'll be in different cities (and maybe states) before the wedding, since he'll graduate in December and will be looking for (and hopefully find) a youth pastor position, and I'll be student teaching and will graduate in May.  So we're hoping that by reading the same passages and then discussing them together, it will help with the separation.  After we get married, he'll lead daily couple devotions which will grow to include family devotions when we have kids, while still maintaining our personal quiet times. 

    Sorry that was so long. 
  • edited December 2011

    FI and I just started praying together (outside of mealtime and @ Church) a couple of weeks ago.
    A friend of mine who got engaged the weekend after us just completed the first session of her pre-marital counseling and she said it was one of the topics they mentioned.
    We decided to do it every night before we go to bed and it really has brought us closer. We take turns praying each night. I fully believe that there is no right or wrong way to pray as long as you are talking to God.
    On a side note, it really makes me feel great when I hear FI pray about understanding and patience in our relationship because the patience thing is something we both struggle with :-). 

    Have you considered praying with FI on the phone (if you don't see each other every day)? We all get very busy so perhaps you can both set aside like 5-minutes everyday to pray. Or even share a bible passage.

    BabyFetus Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    We pray together before meals, at the end of the day before he leaves and I go to bed, and then other random times when we need an extra little prayer.  We also try to read the Bible together every day so we will be in that habit once we have our family.  The past two weeks he has been working until late, so the Bible reading has been lacking, but hopefully we'll get that picked up ASAP!  It is amazing what a difference it makes!
    Expecting our first... Image and video hosting by TinyPic BabyFetus Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We pray at meals and whenever we feel the need to.

    Once we're married I would think we would pray together in the morning or something.
  • GJones27GJones27 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We pray at meals together.  If we have something major going on in our life, we also pray together then.  For example, while my fiance was applying for grad school, we prayed together before he submitted the submit button. 
  • ally117ally117 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I pray aloud, but my FI for the most part prays silently.  We do pray together on occasion, when the need arises.  For example, if I am feeling sick or having a difficult time, my FI will pray aloud for me. (and vice versa)  We are very comfortable praying with and for each other, but again, it isn't an everyday thing.  My FI has already mentioned that once we're married he wants to pray over me every morning before I leave the house.  I think praying together can draw couples closer and I know that my FI and I both appreciate it! 
  • On_Cloud_NineOn_Cloud_Nine member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's great, thank you all for sharing!

    I don't feel so bad now about not liking praying outloud. It makes me feel awkward. I really like the ideas of reading Bible passages together and discussing them, or following some sort of couple's devotional.
  • felkelsfelkels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We got a book called Couples Who Pray.  We had intended on reading it togheter, and doing it's challange of praying togheter every day for 40 days.  We both felt strange about praying with eachother and praying out loud.  Especially me...I DON'T PRAY OUT LOUD!  But the book opened up my eyes about some things...opening up about your wants and needs and deepest inner desires to the LORD, surrendering all to Him and being that vulnerable in front of the one you love, can be an eye opening experience.  They hear you pouring out your heart and learn more about you, and feel closer to you.  You feel the same with them.  I am sad to say we only read the first chapter of the book (it is for married couples and that chapter talked about making love more than we were comfortable with), and only did the praying every night for about two weeks, but I have not felt closer to my future husband than I did in those two weeks.  Now we pray toghether when we need something, or when we feel like we need to, but we don't build our relationship as we should, putting Christ in the center of our EVERYTHING.  HE needs to be in the center of everything we do, both as individuals and as couples, and praying togheter and exposing that personal private part of ourselves not only to God, but to our partner is essential.  He always says he feels closest to me when we are all snuggly on the couch or whatever, and I tell him I feel the closest to him when we are drawing nearer to God togheter. 

    Now that I have written this, and have used this time to reflect on my own feelings, I do believe in the 71 days left before my wedding, not only I but WE need to be in serious prayer, and not only as individuals, but as a couple for our future togheter.  Not centering our lives in God means they may not work or mesh togheter the way that God intends for them to.  Thank you for this chance to reflect, and I hope that I have inspired you to pray together.  Why wait until you are married?

    Oh, and if you can get over the already married talk in that book, it is called Couples Who Pray: The Most Intimate Act Between a Man and a Woman by Squire Rushnell and Louise DuArt.  You can read the entire first chapter on either barns and noble or amazon's websites.  I do plan on finishing it, and recomend that others read it as well. 
  • felkelsfelkels member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    After writing my lengthy response I was telling one of the elders of my church about the question and several answers from you lovely ladies.  He flat out said that "If you can't or don't pray with eachother before the wedding, why and how can you really expect it to change after?"  I want to encourage all of you as well as myself to insist on praying togheter for the reasons I mentioned above. The more you open up about it, the more you expose youreself, the less comfortable you might be, but the more you grow, and the more you learn not only about yourself, but about person you are going to marry and spend the rest of your life with.  I believe this is an essential key to not only the marriage, but the preperation.  As you said On_Cloud_Nine, you don't mind a couple's devotional...those can be great, and if you need help getting started those can be WONDERFUL!.  Just remember to be open and honest with God and with eachother.  Blessings to you all!
  • cwiltcwilt member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I pray together every night over the phone. (We're 12 hours drive away from each other for now). I love being able to bear our burdens to the Lord together. We pray out loud. And just like someone else said, it is like a conversation, but it's a conversation with God, and so while one is praying out loud, the other person is agreeing with their prayer, and so the one praying aloud is really kind of leading in prayer.
    We also began reading through the psalms backwards when we hit 150 days, and now we just have 14 left! It has been such an encouragement to us both. So many times the Psalm is just what we need for the day.
  • jsimmjsimm member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Since FI and I started dating over a year ago, we have been reading through the bible together (a year challenge)- we take turns reading aloud when we are together, and separately when we're not.  When we are together, we usually pray after we finished reading.  It is a very high priority for us.  We also pray aloud over our meals- taking turns too.  I sometimes have a hard time praying aloud, and he is so "good" at getting his preach on, and much better with words in that sense so he usually prays for us.  After we fininshed reading through the Bible we started reading the Love Dare, and that brings up so much conversation that we like to pray about.  I think that it brings us much closer together, and it keeps God in the center of our relationship.  If you are able to, I would try to make it a habit and something you enjoy doing.  Even if you aren't comfortable praying outloud, take time together to sit quietly and talk to God.  Good luck friends! 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • WFHWFH
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    *Firstly, I thank the one who posted this topic:)
    From the first moment I read the heading, I realised that our relationship has missed something really necessary for months.
    It was just too hard to take some time to get together and pray. We didn't even eat together, because there were not enough time.
     For me, it is not comfortable to pray out loud, if I don't want to.  Though, sometimes my FI seems to insist, that I do it:S  I told him about it,tham I am talking to God first and I don't care if others can't hear it as long as they can hear that I'm finished with saying: "Amen"  :D
    At first, it was hard to tell that to my FI. I just didn't have the courage, but while we were arguing about a very small thing, i managed to say it out and now everything is different.
     We now take time to make even a very short prayer together.
    The results are great - we have managed to stand more firmly against the attacks of world.
     
     My suggestion to every couple - pray together! even if it is just before meals! Everything starts with a single step.

    *Wow, I just love Jesus so much for what He has done!:)*
  • edited December 2011
    we pray together when we do devotions together or if there is an issue or decision we are facing. i have never liked praying out loud and when i'm alone i do it silently. but i know i love hearing my fiance' pray for the two of us and such, and i know he feels the same way when i pray. it's really helped bring us closer together. it is such an intimate thing, so to share it with each other really helps strengthen our relationship with each other and God.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • edited December 2011
    We pray pretty much every way possible. At meetings or social gatherings with other believers FI and I hold hands. At dinner (at our house or someone we are close to) we pray aloud and hold hands. Having a meal in public we each pray our own seperate silent prayers, yet still hold hands. When we study the bible together, we pray aloud. When we each are doing our own private study of His word, we pray by ourselves silently. And when we pray in the morning/at night/throughout the day, we each pray silenty. And FI always says the prayer for us. He asks me what I would like to pray for and includes it in his prayer, but sometimes if he isn't feeling well he asks me to pray for us.
  • jgavigan3376jgavigan3376 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This has been a great thread to read! FI and I pray out loud pretty frequently. We recently started praying out loud in restaurants, something I was really proud of because I think it's important for others to see how our faith is a natural part of our lives. I was self-consious the first couple of times, but now it's just something we do. We also pray out loud together at night before FI leaves to go to his house. We pray about the day, our wedding plans, our relationship, pretty much anything. We also started reading the Psalms backwards from 100. I'm really excited about this!

    We've also recently had some family health issues, and it was so comforting to just stop in my tracks- and with FI pray about the situation whenever we felt the need to. What a blessing! 

    It has been a tremendous encouragement to read your posts!!!! Thank you all for sharing!
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    This has been really encouraging to read about. I just recently got engeged but my FI and I have been praying outloud with eachother every night since we started daiting, as well as reading the bible together outloud.  When we are away from eachother we pray and read over the phone.  We tell eachother our prayer requests for the day and pray about anyting else that comes to mind.  I think that if we did not do this, our relationship would not be what it is today. and btw I used to hate praying out loud until we made it a habit, and its really not that bad.  Its fun to talk to God together and hear eachothers hearts while praying.  It has really helped us to connect with eachother real well and I totally reccomend it.
  • melissa_johnsmelissa_johns member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance and I don't pray together much outside of meals/church/emergencies, etc.  HOWEVER:  I believe that praying for each other has contributed a great deal toward our relationship.  We have started doing similar devotionals so that we have a something more to talk about, but when we get married and live together I look forward to reading the Bible together and praying together at night.  Also, we usually pray outload when we do pray, not that I don't think God hears silient prayers too.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards