Christian Weddings

Good Pre-Marital Counseling Books?

Since FI & I have been doing premarital counseling, we've collected tons of books!  I thought it would be good to start sharing the books that we are using?

So here are 3 that we like!

1.  His Needs, Her Needs
2.  Love & Respect
3. The Five Love Languages

Does anyone else have any books they think are good to read before or after the wedding?
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Re: Good Pre-Marital Counseling Books?

  • fpaemp2011fpaemp2011 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We're reading "Before You Plan Your Wedding, Plan Your Marriage" by Greg Smalley (Gary Smalley's son), and when we were dating, I read "For Women Only" by Shaunti Feldhahn, and we both read "Single Men are Like Waffles, Single Women are Like Spaghetti" by Bill and Pam Farrel. (We looked at the one written for married couples, but there was a lot about the initmacy of marriage, which we just didn't need to read about as a dating couple.  We might read that one right before or after the wedding.)
    "Love & Respect" is on the summer reading list, as is "Every Woman's Marriage" by Shannon Ethridge, which was recommended by my Sunday School teacher.
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we readL

    1. Saving your Marriage Before it Starts
    2. For Men Only/For Women Only (2 book set)
    3. A mini-series by Walter Trobisch


    If we have time we will also read When Sinners say I Do
  • edited December 2011

    We read "Before the Ring" by William L. Coleman before we got engaged, and now we are reading "Preparing for Marriage" By David Boehi, Brent Nelson, Jeff Schulte, and Lloyd Shadrach. We are also listening to Marriage by Design by Voddie Baucham. We need to find someone for our premarital counseling, but we don't want to go through our own church, so for now we are reading as much as we can.

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  • edited December 2011
    "When Sinners Say 'I Do'" by Dave Harvey - it's a brilliant, Gospel-centred book that gets at how to keep your marriage grace-based (the way you treat your spouse flows from the gospel) as opposed to performance-based (which is about meeting each other's needs and follows a quid pro quo pattern).
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  • edited December 2011
    Yeah, I adore this post!  The Five Love Langues is awesome

    Check out Rocking the Rolesby Robert Lewis and William Hendricks.  It discusses the following: comon myths and misunderstandings about marriage roles, "core" roles that don't limit choices but help prioritize commitments, energy, and time, what husbands and wives most need to understand about each other, what the "s" word - submission- is and is not, spiritual leadership as a practical responsibility, not privileged rank.  (Yes, this is from the back of the book).  Excellent read.

    Another to read: Money and Marriage God's Way.  This book discusses how to integrate finances into your marriage.  Another excellent read.  I bought this book for FI and I to read and he, my MBA, finance, investment banking man, could not put the book down! 

    HTH
  • edited December 2011

    We had to read quite a bit for our Pre-Marital sessions with our mentors. We really enjoyed the process and this is some of what we were using- "Before You Say I do" (workbook), "This Momentary Marriage" (Piper, book), "Sexualk Intimacy in Marriage" (Cutrer & Glhn, book). =)

  • edited December 2011
    "How To Save Your Marriage Before It Starts" by Les and Leslie Parrot - so good!! We read it in our prep course, and there are work books, 1 for the men and 1 for the woman, very good. The last chapter is about becoming soulmates and being partners in the Lord together for service and prayer and worship - really great!
  • edited December 2011

    We are right at the beginnings of "Preparing for Marriage" By David Boehi, Brent Nelson, Jeff Schulte, and Lloyd Shadrach.  I did some reading of reviews from Barnes and Noble.com AND Family Christian Bookstore's website for some more insight, so far, I am liking it. I would love to do premaritial counseling, but I don't belong to any church (I have a hard time finding one I really like), but I figure its the best we could do beforehand. Smile

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  • ShavonB214ShavonB214 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would recommend "Love and Respect", my fiance are in premarital counseling too Laughing
  • edited December 2011
    I have to whole-heartedly second "THIS MOMENTARY MARRIAGE" by John Piper. I read it myself, then my fiance and I talked through most of the chapters and now I am going through it with our college pastor's wife. I have read several books on marriage (I'm slightly book obsessed) and this one is definitely the best in my opinion, so gospel-centered! It makes me so excited to get married because Piper really shows the beauty of marriage and its design to portray the love of Christ and his Church.
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  • chilldragonchilldragon member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I keep going back to this book; I've read it twice:

    Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts: Seven Questions to Ask Before and After You Marry by Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott

    It is all encompassing, and addresses the big marriage questions. Highly recommended! Its also got great reviews on amazon.com

  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We have been using the book "Love Life" by Ed Wheat while meeting with our officiant and his wife for our pre-marriage study. The book is amazing and helps couples work through any issues they may encounter: romantic, sexual, money, raising kids, etc..

    It also teaches you how to stay in love using the five different types of love: epathumia, eros, storge, phileo, and agape.
  • edited December 2011
    The 5 love languages.. We are almost through it, but it was such a good read for us, because we both thought we were one love language, but after reading it realized we are both slightly different than we thought. It's been very thought provoking, and fun to read together!
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  • edited December 2011
    Before Sinners Say I Do is great but hands down the BEST marriage book we've read is The Sacred Marriage.
  • rbtrumpetrbtrumpet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are reading "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas - VERY good read, although I do feel that it is sometimes aimed at already married couples, not those entering into marriage.

    We are also reading "What did you Expect?" by Paul Tripp (although I'm still in Sacrred Marriage).


    I have heard very good things about "Sheet Music" by Kevin Leman - and if no one buys this for me for a shower, I will be buying it for myself.
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  • Me and my Fiance were given the book Things I Wish I knew Before we Got Married by Gary Chapman and we LOVED it!!! Geared for serious dating/engaged couples! And we both highly recommend it! Just bought copies of Saving your Marriage before it starts and the two men and women workbooks because they also look as equally fun and meaningful to use! :)
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