So sick of wedding planning...

GJones27

I can't stand wedding planning anymore!!!  I have been feeling very cranky and depressed for a week or two because of it.  My wedding is 29 days away, and I'm feeling pretty miserable... not because I'm getting married, but rather because I feel like I don't have support with all of the work.  

I'm starting to understand why brides turn into brideszillas, and I feel like I'm 1 inch from turning into one.  Everything is going wrong and no planning item is going smoothly, which forces me to do extra work.  And it just all builds up.  I feel like I ask small things of people, and nothing gets done.  I asked groomsmen to submit measurements for tuxes by a certain date given by the shop, and some don't do it.  RSVPs are due in a week, and I'm still waiting for 35 RSVPS to come back and I know many won't and I'll have to call them.  I'm paying a lot of money for some vendors, and they won't return calls or do what they're paid to do.  I don't understand why it is so hard for people to do these things when they have had ample time!  I'm not asking much.

FI doesn't help me much because he's in grad school, and I live by myself in Washington, DC.  My wedding and family are out in California.  My mom helps me a little, but my sister (my maid of honor) refuses to answer any questions I send her for advice on wedding planning. I feel like I can't ask anyone for help.

I've taken breaks from the planning, but it doesn't help.  I don't know what to do.  I'm not able to be friendly and nice as a Christian.  I'm trying to keep things in perspective, but it's hard to do that when the very basic and necessary things aren't getting done.  And no one understands how I feel when I share how upset and depressed I'm feeling.  What should I do???

kellya01

I understand totally!  I have to go and ask people AGAIN if they're going to sing, what key they want the song in, etc, so that I can get the music for the piano player.  I have left some things up to my mom to coordinate (the cake, and the soloists) and I feel like I have to double check that she's done it.  She doesn't mind me asking her, because she appreciates the reminder, but I'm just like "I thought we already talked about this... can't you just handle it!"  Anyway, I know a bit of what you mean.

What helps me get through it is to remember that certain things just have to be done, and sometimes that means that I have to do it.  Don't let yourself get down about the remaining 35 RSVP's - you still have another week, and I think part of you is thinking a bit pessimistically about it.  A lot of people mail RSVP's on the day that it says they're due... not exactly protocol, but it is how some people are.  Try not to let that get to you... because all you have to do is call them, take 2 minutes, right?  I know it's not really a time thing, but the principle of the matter, and I get it!! :-)

Oh, and sometimes just asking for God to help lift the burden from you is an enormous sense of relief.  I've done that a lot recently and it's really helped me (in my work stress).  

If you have any questions that we could help with, let us know if we can help in any way!  I'm sorry that your mom  and sister aren't as helpful as you would like.  That can't be easy, feeling a bit alone sometimes.  God is there for you too.  

rachelea

I'm done with it too...*sigh* Can you believe the biggest headache I have right now is actually getting in touch with our pastor to schedule counseling? We're getting married SIX WEEKS from tomorrow...we had our first session in February...it is MAY tomorrow and I have emailed, called, spoken to the pastor, spoken to his secretary, MULTIPLE times, had emails unacknowledged, pastor came to Bible study and said we'd schedule the next day (that was a week and a half ago...), his secretary talked to me on Tuesday and said he'd be calling me that day or Wednesday (it is now Saturday...). I gave up. I told FI it is his problem to deal with now, this is one part he is 100% capable of helping me with. Though he spoke to our friend, the pastor's daughter, and even SHE can't get ahold of him! ARGH!

...would it help if I told you my reply date is tomorrow and I still have 45 outstanding replies? The majority of which are familiy members? On MY side? UGH. Just ugh.

...just remember, our FIs wait at the end! Someone asked me today if I was ready for the wedding. I said NO. I am NOT ready for the wedding. I am ready for the marriage, but NOT the wedding. Boo.

GJones27

Thanks for listening, girls.  Rachaela, I'm going through the exact same problem!  All my relatives aren't replying to the invitations.  What is frustrating is that I hear through the grape vine that some won't be coming, yet they don't RSVP.  Had I known they weren't coming, I would have invited additional people.

I ended up feeling so miserable yesterday, I cried on the phone with my mom and FI.  I think they finally realized how overwhelmed I was.  FI is flying down next weekend to help out.  He was super sweet, and I love him so much for his ability to make sacrifices to make me feel better.  My mom also volunteered to take on additional tasks.  I'm starting to feel better.  I had been feeling really depressed for a week.

kellya01

That 's really sweet of your FI to come down to help out!  Sometimes the people we love need to know what we're feeling because otherwise they won't know, and won't know how they can help.  It does take a lot of courage to ask them, especially when you feel like I do (don't want to impose or make people feel obligated to do anything when it's my responsibility!).  Glad you're feeling a bit better!! :-) 

joyfulbride424

Our relatives aren't replying to invitations either!! So annoying. I think we've all been there or are there GJones so hang in there!! P.S. My wedding is 33 days away - I'm only a few days behind you, we're almost there!