Christian Weddings

NWR: prayer for my grandma (long...)

My grandfather passed away over 6 years ago now. My grandmother has been extremely depressed since then and just gets consistantly more so. It has been further complicated by dementia. It runs genetically on her side of the family. She doesn't clean her house, she doesn't bathe, she doesn't go anywhere. Her house has become filthy, she smells because she doesn't take baths or showers, she only eats cold food that my mom makes and packs up for her, she can't drive herself anywhere. She forgets everything. I feel like she is JUST like Dory from Finding Nemo, except with a mean streak. Dementia does that to people as well, making them verbally agressive (and probably physically too, but my grandmother is so small and frail). The first 24 hours she was at my parent's house this holiday we had the same conversation that consisted of 3 questions. She literally repeats herself every 2 or 3 minutes, saying the same thing over and over. If we hadn't left the light on the backyard last night she would have kept asking if it was snowing here and why she couldn't go home. She slept for 24 hours yesterday in the main area of our house and is currently sleeping now and has been for nearly 12 hours now. I have only been around her for 3 days and already I can't stand it. My parents have to deal with this all the time. She lives 45 minutes away and vehemently refuses to leave and legally they can't make her without getting a court appeal. My parents are tricking her into going to an assisted living facility today for an evaluation. She canNOT live on her own, yet trying to convince her of that is nearly impossible. She kept threatening she was going to leave the house and walk home in the middle of the night during the snow. I feel like I'm rambling but it is so stressful. Then I feel absolutely awful because I wish she could just pass on from here and go to Heaven instead of suffering on earth. She is physically healthy but mentally just gone. She doesn't live, she just exists. It is painful for her and for all those that love her. So I don't quite know what I'm asking you ladies to prayer for...God's will I suppose, peace for my family in whatever form that may come in.

Re: NWR: prayer for my grandma (long...)

  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. It's a very tough situation. I have seen firsthand how you can't force people to go into assisted living, even when you know it's what's best. Maybe you can find a place that appeals to her i.e. "Grandma, they play bingo here every Wednesday!" or "They have a quilting club here!" Maybe a friend could talk to her, so she hears advice from a non family member. Let us know what happens. In the meantime, I will pray for you and your grandma and family! 
  • ecuchikaecuchika
    500 Comments
    member
    edited December 2011
    I normally don't post on this board-but I'll chime in.  My BFF's grandmother suffers from dementia and she was a hoarder (similar messy house etc as you described) so my friend and her mother (who had terminal cancer at the time) got guardianship of the grandmother.  It was a long road b/c the grandmother had a stalker (way too long of a story my friend is still dealing with even after the death of her mother) So in short see if your grandmother's child(ren) can get guardianship.  That way you can get her into an assisted living facillity.  It sounds like this is what is best for the grandmother.  If the situation is as bad as you described the court will be in your favor.  As they were in my friend's favor.  Things have been so much easier for my friend now that her grandmother has 24hr care.  I hope this can somehow help you-but know you and your family are not alone.  Check out local state/govn't assistments for the elderly.  Best of luck-its sad when we have to watch loved ones suffer like this. 
  • edited December 2011
    That sounds like a terribly heartbreaking and difficult situation, and my heart goes out to you and your family. Many prayers and I hope that you are successful in getting her to a caring and supportive assisted living facility.
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